The gardens have bloomed. My thoughts are clear. My mind is clean, and my heart has heard the sounds of joy.

It has felt the warmth of joy. The joy that breezes across a person who has been loved so sweetly that I can see it in their eyes. 

I can feel it as I look at them, and I'm thankful for that.

The joy I feel, I hope you have envisioned your own joy in a universe that can be so lost and contradictory.

I have found the joy that makes mu soul glow bright. It has enlightened my eyes so clear.

My mind has opened to possibilities. I don't just see the possibilities but I have traced my finger across the joy of them.

That's a joy that stays inside. The kind of joy that doesn't fade, it's always there.

What is your joy? Have you found it or is just there? Maybe you have been looking in the wrong places and it's right there.

Waiting for the right time or place to have it.

The best thing about joy is that you are allowed to have it even when you're in pain.

I guess in this world
I never knew what my triggers
were. I have two main triggers and that's you and my mom.

I guess you're a trigger to me because you remind me of my mom. But you're a guy an you remind me of my mom. I'm a girl and you're a guy.

I know you never liked me that way and you won't and that's okay. I came to terms about that long ago.

It's just that every time I go to date or think about someone else. I feel like I'm cheating on you and it's nonsensical of my mind.

You're in my daily life but you're gone. An I'm not in your daily life an I'm far from your conscious and subconscious.

There's people that want me and love me. An I want the one person who doesn't even remember me in any form.

We were nothing, I'm nothing to you. An yet here you are haunting my very own thoughts.

You can no longer be in my very own thoughts. You don't belong here stuck in my mind or anything.

I am emotionally disconnected from you. Our souls have returned to our own bodies. We are done and I am a nun.

When I reach for you the very essence of your soul touches my soul.

There is a peace and energy that I can't describe. Deeper I go into your soul, and it's like a journey.

A journey that takes you into walls of lights, the journey I never want to end. Your soul is without darkness that brings warmth to other souls.

It shines the very breath of life. Breathing in, breathing out.

The soul I want to hold forevermore, but I cannot. For it is a traveling soul to enjoy when it is there.

Not to hold on to, but to be free where no one else has seen the joy your soul contains.

So be free traveling soul!!!!

I was so angry.
My anger an rage could fill the whole universe. What was I so angry about? I can't change the past, but I can change from reacting to responding.

My anger could peel oil paint off the walls. My anger could make the whole room silent. My anger made people disappear from my life.

Some how I need to let go so I can succeed mentally.
I can change myself, from the inward to out ward. I was always trying to control the outcome of how people viewed me or how they didn't do something.

I have no control over all that an yet when it didn't happen that way or it didn't go at all I was disappointed an that turned into anger.

sadly I had no recollection of how this would affect my relationships, my soul, my career, the way I viewed things, the way I viewed people including myself, an life in general.

Anger was my way of defending in a world who seemed not to care, who could not defend me.

Anger was a tool for me to avoid pain, hurt, an sometimes the anger turned to numbness an I couldn't feel anything.

It's time to let go of the pain of the past an sometimes you don't know where to begin

I breath in and I breath out all the poison you put in me. You stabbed me in the leg but you were on some meds, You said we were playing and now life is just a game that I don't want to play. 

The meds they get you and I guess I don't. The meds went first and I didn't even think to ask twice.

Sometimes you get a little funny on them like say Buenas nachos instead of saying buenas nochez.

Then other times it would sadden me to see you on these meds because the meds took your soul, an the worse night came.

One night I had to watch you but I had to shut my door as you laid up in the other room screaming I want to **** myself. I couldn't reason with you so I had to leave you in your own demise. 

My heart was saddened but I don't think anyone in that house had a will to live but more so a will to leave.

An you were stranded in your own mind and desert of a heart to the point where you were stuck without water and in now where's land.

When I think of my old behavior I cringe. When I think of what I did to you I cringe. My thoughts cringe over and over.
My heart cringes at the thought that I ever did that to you.
What I have done to you, I have done to many others without even realizing it.

So thank you and I let you go.

When I look at your soul I see beauty, an it makes me want to get lost in your soul. Your Soul has light, some darkness but the light of your soul overcomes that.
I love your soul because it's beautiful, filled with love, and kindness. Yet so many other aspects one can hope for. It has a hope deep down, that nothing can destroy it.

Yet there is some pain.I look into your soul can grab the pain and you're free. Your Soul is free to be the real you. The beautiful, messy, loving, kind, beautiful imperfections, and not shaken by anything or anyone no more.
Your Soul is free to roam this earth, the Heavens, the universe itself. Your Soul is free!!!

Your Soul learns to let go, to love unconditionally, to be who you were meant to be an no longer bound by others, your negative actions or negative thoughts that deprive you deep within.
Your soul free!!!