Mindless.
Everything we've had, to you,
It was mindless.
It meant nothing.
But you didn't bother to even mention how you felt,
I guess because you didn't feel anything at all.

Effortless.
Everything I felt and said, to you,
It was effortless.
I gave you everything until I was left with nothing.
I was too scared to mention how I felt, because I was afraid,
Afraid you wouldn't feel the same way at all.

Flawless.
Everything I saw in you,
It was flawless.
I fell in love with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled up when you smiled.
In love with the way you saw life, your humor,
The way you drove me wild.

Obvious.
All the warnings and red flags,
They were obvious.
But I was too stubborn to let you go until we were left with nothing.
Now, I find myself here, telling you how I feel, always a moment too late.


Happiness.
I am thankful for every moment spent with you,
It was pure happiness.
You taught me to be free and to find positivity in everything I could see.
I could never regret all that you gave to me.

Images.
All that's left now of us,
They are images.
But these memories, call me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
If they are all that I have left of you, at least I am left with something.
Even though truly what you left behind, in the end, amounted to nothing.



But oh well, I guess it was probably for the best.

Have you ever been so close to love that you could feel it radiating around you?

So sweet that you could almost taste it?

I am within and without

Surrounded by love, radiating off of those around me,
But yet, I am without it.

I cannot grasp its meaning.
My longing to understand it is one of the strongest desires of my heart.

But I'm afraid.

Afraid that as close as I have come to accepting love, to carrying it inside of me,
I fear that close to love, will be the closest I'll ever get.

You see, love is a tricky little thing.
It could be your greatest accomplishment,
And in the same breath,
Your greatest downfall.

Is it worth the risk?
*I fear I'll never know.

I once wished I could feel.
Not just feel, but really feel.
I wished I could feel more than most.
That things would affect me on a different level than everyone else.

What a fool

I do feel.
I feel on a level that is ten times heavier than the normal person.
I feel pain on a level people can't even reach.

I feel sadness, so heavy, resting on my chest.
But what I failed to think of at the time, is that to have more of something, something else has to be less.
And what I received was less happiness.

People feel happiness in everyday life and I feel the emptiness that lies underneath.
All I feel is the sadness and the pain.

To see beauty in the world, we must feel.
But pain comes with feeling.
And for people like me, that's a sacrifice heavier than we can bear.

Pain overwhelms me with so much sorrow, there is no longer room for joy.


*Is beauty worth the pain?

A beautiful soul was laid bare before all.
Leaving every desire, every mistake, every flaw,
Exposed.

It only took one person to leave that soul broken and destroyed.
Never again will that soul fall.
Instead, it will build up walls.

Walls that will protect that once beautiful soul from hurt, from disappointment, from pain.
But the walls kept away the ones who could mend, care for, and protect the, now bitter, soul from the rain.

Burying its heart deep within, emotions became constricted.
It was in that moment, that the empty soul was convicted.

If there was any lesson it had learned that had proven to be true, it's this:
When you refuse to feel, you dismiss any chance you have to heal.

Turning around, the soul watched as the walls crumbled to the ground.
And what happened next, in my opinion, was even more profound.

The ones who had the desire to change that soul's fate had been waiting there all along.
To make that soul feel loved, accepted, giving it a place to belong.

And coming to that realization, was when the beautiful soul finally began working again to make itself whole.

No one has ever cared for me like you do.

*And I apologize for how many I let try..

Oh, what I'd give to be the one to take your pain away.