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Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
I exist
a vector
impossible opposites
left and right
height and depth
darkness and brightness
unitary and shattered
shadow and body

An entire universe
on a speck of dust
lingering on a ray of sunshine,
gently falls
and finds its rest among the many
(the conformed
tangled aggregate)

finally settling into oblivescence
out of mind
and just yesterday,
was briefly remarkable.

Inexorably swayed
as he murmured a breath
of oblivion-
I am now
on the other side
of space and time.

-Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
It still amazes me, when I hit the wall;

when the web of karma catches or keeps me

from tripping for something I caused or said or

did or didn’t or will or won’t do


like it’s coming (((back))) to me.

You. Us.

On the phone, on hold

with cardholder services;

I am but one

finger of an Entire Universe

and I know the moment

is breathtaking.

I think I feel

anxiety in those moments because i have no religion; i feel separate

As the Universe Experiencing Itself

i lack an outlet of sufficient explanation

and i am scared of Myself; I Think.

Aging truly, my question is this: Is this increased?-

Or made less-

in time? The answer gets further and further

away the more i think about it, i think.

The further away It gets-

the more It gets to me.

-Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
“ABRACADABRA. By abracadabra we signify an infinite number of things.‘Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why? And Whence? and Whither?—a word whereby The Truth (with the comfort it brings) Is open to all who ***** in night, Crying for Wisdom’s holy light. Whether the word is a verb or a noun Is knowledge beyond my reach.”

The time for waking up has come;

every second of the day is the first

time I have opened my eyes and

arise from a deep sleep.

There is always a vibration that exists

in the stillness. The plants know it well.

The ancient and known is new;

it is spagyric and transmogrified.

We are, collectively, individual worlds

inside our own selves.

I am one and We are One-

one Nexus, one Soul, one Universe

existing now, together

inside of our own separate forms.

It is the precipice.

The moment is arriving for

what we know not; We know

the time is calescent-

the time is now and the time is coming.

The calling is urgent

and it is eternal.

The triangle rings music in my ears.

The time for waking up has come.

–Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
The weather shines.
The second day is the first
I opened my eyes out of time.
Get out of sleep.

There is always a vibration in
silence. The plants know
this well.
The old is new; the secret known.
Its is spagyric, transmogrified-

The collective individual worlds within
ourselves; I am one of you-
a nexus, a spirit, a universe now
together within our own models.

This is the depth.

Access immediately what
we did not know; we know
the time is calescent. Time
and time has come.

This is a small and urgent call.
It is eternal.
The music units are the segments
of my ears.
The time for waking up has come.

-Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
i used to have the feeling
that everything was trying to tell me
something; but everything does
if the timing is right
the right words won’t come
(i almost lost it)
the answer:
it is about you
it is both deep and
above you
in the smoke
the blooms
the tessellations
of the trees
(the sway)
once i saw the face of god
i could never look away

-Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
We are colored under the spirit
Not everyone is safe under the rain
We shine from the light like a heavy game
So bright that the evenings are hard and
dried up.

We create great electronic thoughts in the eyes of God
We are colored under the spirit
I caught a black dog in the smoke.

Jealousy is dead-
Hope for the afterlife
A hell's optimist.

I can not understand
An empty promise.

-Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn Jan 2021
I wake up everyday and take pills and pills and pills
the insanity will go- I was promised
I don't think she has

I am tired today. I am tired everyday
The sense of awakening is lost
I can feel it in my aching bones
Pentetrating darkness

I am a stranger in my body
I cannot remember who I was
I can no longer smile
I don't go outside
I am always alone

I drink my coffee and meanwhile I can't help but keep
killing myself over and over and over
I love the feeling of fatality that fills my lungs

I am lost everywhere I go and I am shrinking quickly
I am missing out on everywhere and I am declining fast
Every day is one day closer to the darkness
(Shall I go to bed?)
And there are times when I can't look away from it

I don't feel anything anymore
How long can I dangle down here on a string?
Saying goodbye to broken promises
The madness is dying
But it is all wrapped up in me

Even the snowfall meant nothing this year

All alone and pondering
About whether ghosts are real

-Jesse Haydn
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