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Jan 2021
I wake up everyday and take pills and pills and pills
the insanity will go- I was promised
I don't think she has

I am tired today. I am tired everyday
The sense of awakening is lost
I can feel it in my aching bones
Pentetrating darkness

I am a stranger in my body
I cannot remember who I was
I can no longer smile
I don't go outside
I am always alone

I drink my coffee and meanwhile I can't help but keep
killing myself over and over and over
I love the feeling of fatality that fills my lungs

I am lost everywhere I go and I am shrinking quickly
I am missing out on everywhere and I am declining fast
Every day is one day closer to the darkness
(Shall I go to bed?)
And there are times when I can't look away from it

I don't feel anything anymore
How long can I dangle down here on a string?
Saying goodbye to broken promises
The madness is dying
But it is all wrapped up in me

Even the snowfall meant nothing this year

All alone and pondering
About whether ghosts are real

-Jesse Haydn
Jesse Haydn
Written by
Jesse Haydn  33/F
(33/F)   
218
 
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