lights everywhere...
flicker.
up and down my street;
all across the world.

the bathroom light flickers as the delicate body that once was mine is burned.
burned by the disgustingness that uprises from my throat.
burned by the water from the too long showers i take
no matter how hard i try to throw up and flush the pain,
or how hard i try to scrub it off my skin with scorching hot water,
it never leaves.
the suffering never ends.

my kitchen light flickers.
as i eat my feelings.
or as i attempt to starve myself.
the fridge light flickers while i stare out at my backyard as if i was trapped in my house, and couldn’t go outside no mater how hard i tried.

the hall light flickers.
as i walk from room to room.
i relate to you, hallway.
you feel like you’re always being used,
for closets,
and to get from place to place.
no one cares much about you,
yet if you weren’t there they’d need you, want you back.
only then do they care.

the downstairs light doesn’t flicker.
only if i’m down there.
she thinks “what have i done wrong?”
oh mother. if only you knew what ran through my head.
the downstairs light doesn’t need to flicker,
it has long been off.

my bedroom light flickers.
when i frown. or laugh. or cry. or smile.
when i’m feeling down and when i’m high.
it flickers while i sit on my floor, head up against my dresser, hands running through my hair and across my eyes, wiping away tears.
i feel nothing except everything.

do the lights ever just simply turn on?
or will they just dim more and more until they give up?

do you think of me?
when you think of the things you regret, do i make you fret?
when you think of the things you have loved, do you think of me?
i want to be someone you think of?
our love came to a close,
with no warning.
no sign of goodbye,
it snuck up on us,
like thief’s in the night.

we happened at the wrong time.
it is nothing short of tragic.
it was as if we had forced the stars to align and the moon to shine.
but...we were those lovers who were different. right?
we had the connection everyone else looked for, right?
little did they know what truly went on within us.

all the games we played with each other’s minds,
you see, we were so worried about each other’s thoughts we forgot the way it felt to just be within each other’s arms.

alas, the past shan’t be changed.
do you still think of me?
because,
from time
to
time,
i think of you.
and maybe shed a tear or two

Today I’m content;
can’t imagine a place
I’d rather be

Poetry comes back to me
where long there had been none.
Lyrical, the imagery, once shared
and then was done.

Thoughts of such sincerity
in words that grace the page,
Race across the span of time
that bridge the gap of age.

Trusting in the ardor that
has cooled and healed with time,
I read again the tender lines
of kindred souls, in rhyme.

Oh spirit of another age,
reach out from time and space.
Fan the embers turned to ash
and torpid ruin replace.