I'm a wreck, ma
A mess

                                  Alone

and depressed
There are people all around
And there is a smile on my face
But no one heard my cries
No one had seen the pain in my eyes

Everything looks like greyscale
With a twist of red
                                            Red.

It was only on me, ma
My whole body
Was   b r o k e n    and damaged
There were marks everywhere
Small cuts
                             Where the red came from
Does no one still see?

I'm standing on a busy street, ma
Trying to scream
But everyone just walks by
I feel my lungs filling up
      I'm
           d
               r
                  o
                     w
                  n
                i
            n
        g
But everyone around me is breathing

I'm up on a building now, ma
Holding my breath
I'll jump, ma
Do you hear me now?
Are you listening?
Can you understand?
Huh, ma?
I can't hear you.


                          It's too late now, ma
I'm gone.

I'm staring up at the clouds now
People are rushing to my side
Is this all it takes?

"This child must have slipped"
                     No ma'am
I seeked your attention
I wanted someone to listen
I needed your help long ago
And you didn't care

"They were a good friend"
Wait who are you
We've never talked
Suddenly everyone is sad
How come?
Well, ma
I've been sad for a long time
How come you didn't notice earlier?

It's funny when you're not a 'pretty face'
Because then no one cares until you're dead
But then you are pretty
And now everyone cares.

But I'm sorry, ma
You are too late
You should've noticed earlier
Good bye, ma
I'm happier now
                            *Not by your side

I used to want to be thin
             To be taller
To have more friends
             And to live like royalty

But that wasn't the way I'm supposed to live
              I am made to be the way I am
Like the things I like
             And live the way I live

I am the one and only
            No one else can be me
                      Why should I be someone else?

Even if you get judged,
                 What better does that make them
If you stand up taller
                  You don't need them

Those people who tease you;
                  Their words may hurt
But there's too many people in this world
                   For very few to hurt you

Now open your eyes
                  And clear your mind
For this is only the beginning
                  And I'm here cheering you on

The first sip of warm coffee
On a cold fall morning,
While leaves are changing,
And others are falling;
The birds are singing the morning lullaby,
And there's a cold breeze coming in from the window you never fixed.
The sun is just barely rising,
The sky a hue of orange and purple;
The time of day when you really appreciate everything,
And don't worry about anything.
Those are my favourite kind of mornings.

One day happened to change my life.
Tomorrow is also a hassle, however.
But what about three days from now?
Or even 4 seconds, minutes, hours.
It took you 5 seconds to say good bye, and by the time 6 seconds were up, you were completely gone.
Now 7 months have passed, you barely made a single call.
8...9...10 pills. At least that's all I remember taking. It was a dead night on the 11th month of the year. I thought it was going to be literal.
12 minutes had passed before I started to really blackout.
And by the 13th, I was knocked out.
Someone had then found me. My mother. "This shouldn't have to happen to my baby girl" she cried.
14. The age that began my depression. I moved a lot during that age.
14 then turned to 15. Things still weren't any better.
Now comes the big 16. The time were I can taste more freedom.
At least I thought I did.
But not quite.
16 is also the time this all happened.
A sweet sixteen soon turned into a damnation.
A father left her little girl when she needed him most.

How can something that's so free;
no guidelines or how to,
No grades or reports,
No do this,
Or do that,
Be so complex?