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JDK Oct 2016
Oh ****.
Oh no.
I've slipped into a slippery dance with all of the things I've always feared, and all of the things I'll never know,
and I can't tell anymore if it's joy or sadness that causes all these tears,
but it hardly makes a difference, so long as I can still feel this:
a precious presence in the bones;
a song sung by the body that makes me feel not so alone.

I'd kiss you on the forehead.
I'll kiss both of your eyes.
Remembering to feel alive, at least until we one day die.

If I could manipulate time, then I'd put us both in the same instant,
to breath shared air,
if only for a minute.
I don't understand beauty,
but I make offerings at her altar,
and I choose to walk beside her,
even though my steps may falter.
361 · May 2014
In Vain
JDK May 2014
A pale shadow glows with a light from my mind.
I've seen it every morning since the day I lost mine.
It begs me to stay in this twisted Limbo.
I squirm and shake and fall out of bed.

Plagued by manifestations of the once unknown.
I've bruises on my head.
I wish they would leave me alone.

A spiraling spider descends from the ceiling.
The popcorn texture alludes to my state.
I squirm and shake and fall out of bed.
How many times have I told you to go away?

My skin crawls with phantasms of skittering speed.
I am but a tube sock of molding jelly.
I squirm and shake and fall out of bed.
I try to convince them that I'm still alive.
JDK Jan 2017
Win or lose,
you're bound to lose some friends,
and even though memories may be like little movies in your head that you can play over and over again,
the truth of the matter is:
They've already ended.
If that makes any sense.
360 · Oct 2016
Let It Be
JDK Oct 2016
I've spent too many years trying to change the color of these streetlights to match that of my whimsy,
and I'd just as soon remain alone than to have you right here with me.

When an unseen breeze pushes these leaves to dance as shadows down my street,
I can't help from thinking:
This is beauty.
"Acceptance is usually more a matter of fatigue than anything else."
-- David Foster Wallace
360 · Sep 2016
Downhill
JDK Sep 2016
"It was bound to happen eventually,"
said the high-flying object
from the ground.
"Something so full of holes can't stay afloat forever,"
said the sunken boat
made of Swiss cheese.
"Save me! Save me,"
said the dead man.
Save me please.
360 · Sep 2016
Shoes
JDK Sep 2016
The perspective that paints things in a positive light
is the one that most often escapes me,
though I chase it through chasms and tunnels and towers and trees.
I swing through a perceived collective consciousness in a desperate attempt to grasp what's most relevant; missing nearly every branch.
Trying to convince myself that I'm not a solipsist.

If you were me, then I'd be you, and I'd choose to do the same things that I'm doing now, which I guess isn't all too surprising.
All things considered.
I keep forgetting to thank you.
359 · May 2015
Ghost Dance
JDK May 2015
There're a series of silhouettes standing still in my backyard.
They are the ghost versions of my former selves.
I stare into their dark.
A number of moments go by,
then all at once -
they come alive.

This one jumps his leg.
That one is falling down.
Gyrating in a pattern that isn't quite clear.
That one lights a cigarette.
This one sips a beer.
Circling as if playing a game of phantom music chairs.
I see one buckling over.
Another lunges out.
A patchwork design of folly and crime -
I can't decide what it's about.

If only I could get a top-down view,
then maybe I could see
the purpose of this pointless motion;
this parade of all that's me.
I wonder who'll win/who I'll be.
359 · Apr 2017
Any Takers?
JDK Apr 2017
You're ilk as folk,
cracked the egg to its yoke,
as the dyslexic kid couldn't help but laugh at his own joke.

The ice hit teeth,
but the bite bit deep underneath as the asphymatic kid fought for every minute of his sleep.

I woke up in a sweat after having a dream about being so misunderstood that it swept the world clean.

But here's the part where the bristles start to scrape away the dirt that's been left unattended for too long.

Missles out of mole hills,
shot into the long arm of the smartest kid in your advanced placement lit class,
who's been busting his *** washing dishes ever since.

The current bet is that whoever wears the gilded hat is as sure as **** to live in its brim.

I'd just as quickly double it on the off-chance that he'll win.
359 · Aug 2017
Casper
JDK Aug 2017
If you'd tell me what I told you when I was bolder and blacked-out,
I swear I wouldn't repeat it to anybody but my older self.

This is less a cry for help than a shout.

If my second-hand echo somehow travelled from your ears back to my mouth then maybe I could get to the square-root of all my compounded doubts.

It's less of an impossible situation than it is just a simple equation in which the only formula I'm missing is how to solve for ex.
"Jesus Christ, what happened?"
359 · Jan 2015
Daddy's a Gambler
JDK Jan 2015
Rider in a groove, nobody strides like he does.
Writers on the move, trying to capture the rush.
Stumbling over each other, pen and paper in hand.
Caught up in a flush.
It'll take more than four of a kind to understand.

Place your bets right now.
Stake your claim while you can.
Whatever suits you.
This one's a winning hand.

Three Kings over two Queens.
Four cheeses are more than enough to capture a mouse.
I'm hungry too.
How much food can we get from your Full House?
Not enough to satisfy you.
358 · Feb 2015
Cellar Door
JDK Feb 2015
I carried my memories like a bag full of bricks.
I'm over feeling nauseous and vertigo makes me sick.
Fell down some deep wells.
I've crawled out of the abyss.
They say it stares back,
but it's nothing I'll miss.
358 · May 2015
Dear Mom
JDK May 2015
Oh mother, mommy, ma,
could you please not tell me anymore family secrets?
I'm not in the right mood for that kind of drama.
Not tonight, at least.
No, really though, not ever.
You've already told me more than I care to keep
back when I was a child and couldn't sleep.
It's sickening.
Facts and stories that went way over my head
told late at night while you were drinking.
I was just trying to escape the boogieman.
I always had trouble going to bed.
You were supposed to comfort me.
You'd end up crying instead.
Forcing me to comfort you over things I couldn't comprehend.
You just make the nightmares worse.
358 · Jul 2015
Sand
JDK Jul 2015
Smooth it out then shoot it off.
Launch it like a cannonball.
Sue the summer.
Sink the surf.
Wave goodbye to the waves and sky.
Drown the sun in tides of fun.
Spring break never dies.
We're not the only ones.
JDK Sep 2017
Everything burns, pierces and tears.
My head's blown to pieces by the force of these cares.

A word not spoken.
A stare gone too long.
A perfect plan ruined.
A beautiful song.

My heart is in shambles.
It's tortured and raw,
and riddled with holes that leak until there's a pool beneath my feet.
And I drown.

What I need is to be free
of all these things that hurt so much.
What I wish for is for nothing
to ever touch me again . . .

Bam Smash Break Crash Wham Whomp Kazoo

Your wish is my command and now well how'd ya do?

Nothing can touch me.
Yes! Finally!

. . .

Nothing can touch me . . .

Oh god, no.
Etc.
357 · Jan 2017
Therapy, Guerrilla Style
JDK Jan 2017
"Why are you telling my any of this?"

"I don't know . . .
I can't really afford a therapist."
Sounds like a personal problem.
357 · Sep 2017
Knock Knock
JDK Sep 2017
He swore to ignore every odd-ball notion that came awkwardly knocking at his door.

Irregular patterns tap-hapata-ladding like some kind of fiend desperate for human interaction.

"It's just a lump of useless tissue with issues I'll never be able to correct." - That's what the cardiologist thought as he had a heart attack.
"Who's there?"
"Aieep."
356 · Dec 2015
You > Me
JDK Dec 2015
I dream of You.
I wake up to You.
I go to work and You're there.
Everywhere is You.

I come home to You.

When I'm alone,
there's only You.

Music is You.
Movies are You.
Every book ever written;
every word on every page:
You, You, You.
  
The sun, the world, and everything is You.
You are at the core of my being.  

I spend every day with You,
but I never get near Me.
Satire?
356 · Sep 2015
This Forest is Haunted
JDK Sep 2015
A dusty trail fades into the dark.
A comet strikes a villain at his core.
A simple-minded walker contemplates the stars.
These trees are all reaching towards God.
How could one want more?

A torn spirit leaves its blood-stained mark,
with an echo that echoes.
"I'm lost."
356 · Feb 2017
Insomnia
JDK Feb 2017
If your face were on the moon,
then the world would be nocturnal,
because you're gorgeous
of the drop-dead variety.

If heaven exists, then it's within seven feet of wherever you are.

You're what people wish for when they see a shooting star.
Flattery all day (and night)
354 · Jun 2015
Fuck You
JDK Jun 2015
Life can be so rich.
Dig enough holes,
and you'll find they're all connected.
Dig deep enough -
past all the **** -
and you just might hit a mineral vein.
It's not about chance, but persistence.
354 · Jul 2016
I C U
JDK Jul 2016
The twisted carpet entangling toes.
The overgrown paths that lead to places no one ever goes.
The odds and ends of where-to-begin's and stammering out the sentence,
"Nobody knows."

I have a hand and somehow all five digits are still intact.
Clutching at thin attempts to make an impact.
Slipping through fingers.
Hard to grasp.
353 · May 2017
Break Out
JDK May 2017
Freak out.
Sprint far from the start.

Realize you're just a caterpillar,
but then turn into a moth.

Attracted to the flame that's always been burning in your heart.

(But this is the part where the wings fall off.)

Walk the earth as a snail,
with your home on your back.
Leave a shining trail wherever you go,
but don't ever look back.
Metamorphosized into the creature you've always feared and admired.
352 · Feb 2017
Polished
JDK Feb 2017
Your rough edges have all been ground down.
Calm little pebble, you're so smooth now.

Easy come and easy go.
Things used to be hard.

Feels like forever ago.
Already.
352 · Apr 2015
Derailed
JDK Apr 2015
I've been engaging in the sort of acts
that would give a person with less passion
a heart attack.
It was always beneath the surface and now it has
come to a head; caused a wreck;
thrown everything that never was completely out of whack.
I'm not apologizing for any of it.
In fact, I'm happier than I've ever been.
That is to say,
since before I ever met you.

I'm not sorry for anything I do

There's no going back.
It's all gone off the tracks.
My life has always thrown curve *****:
I've finally learned how to catch.

You're still fumbling over the fast ones.
Yea, good luck with that.
I don't want you on my team.
JDK May 2017
Three is a
magical
number, sure,

But I've my
doubts about
this structure.

Sounds stuttered
and vaguely
Robotic.
Trying out the 3x3x3 form for fun. (Special thanks to Chaetura for informing me about it.)
352 · Mar 2015
How to Find Fate
JDK Mar 2015
Put the car in park.
Sit there in the dark,
for a second.

Blink and then it's gone.
Find another song.
Turn the engine off.

Leave and take a walk.
Hear the streetlight talk,
for a second.

It said,
"Go left at that street;
the one named Destiny.
Run down it
forever."

Don't take bad advice.
The moon's not very nice.
She glares at you,
for a second.

A second's never felt so long.

Don't go past that tree;
the one without the leaves.
Blink and then you're gone
forever.
350 · Oct 2014
Just Say "No."
JDK Oct 2014
Some doors should stay closed.
Certain things are best left alone.
Curiosity killed the cat,
and took its soul into the great unknown.
348 · Dec 2016
Headless
JDK Dec 2016
13 minus 27 is 38.
Took the east-bound train to Missouri by mistake.
Halfway between the station and my home-state I got decapitated by a snowflake the size of a plate.
These and other inside jokes.
347 · May 2013
Refine
JDK May 2013
Dream with me, and be my breath
Melt me down until there's nothing left
Then dive inside as we turn into
Something that resembles neither me or you

Carry me down to the river bed
Remind of all the things that were never said
Float with me through the current
We'll arrive bone dry at the water's edge

Dissipate these visions past
Drop the things you can not grasp
Take my hand and we'll figure out
What you and me have always ever been about
Define
345 · Apr 2021
In Theory
JDK Apr 2021
He doesn't feel real.
He doesn't think that the things in his life that are real should be that way.
He wastes his time away wondering about ambiguous things;
a different way of living life that could,
in theory,
lead to happiness.
I spent 45 minutes trying to convince him otherwise. The whole time, I had serious doubts about my own advice.
JDK Jun 2016
Break it.
"You can't even call yourself a 'failed writer.' You never even tried to become a successful one!"
343 · Mar 2015
Party with the Past
JDK Mar 2015
My dreams are always the strangest
when I fall asleep in unfamiliar places.
Scenes of reunions and warm embraces
of half-forgotten people with half-remembered faces.

What are you doing here?
Where have you been?
Long time, hasn't it?
What's your name again?

Everything I want to say to them -
all of the apologies gone unspoken
for every regret and past mistake,
for all the promises I've broken -
with a wink and a kiss, all is forgiven:
Water under the bridge.

As we dance through the rooms of some mystery mansion,
I feel bliss,
joy;
unrestrained jubilation.

Games are being played:
getaways and chases.
Running through crowds of people I once knew
with long-forgotten names,
and half-remembered faces.

Happy to find ourselves in this strangest of all places:
A party with the past,
but I know it won't last.
I try to tell them it's a dream,
but my words are met with laughter.
Just enjoy it, silly.
*Don't worry 'bout what comes after.
Then I woke up.
JDK Aug 2015
Every day contains another series of unknowns:
Unforeseen troubles, unanticipated worries;
untold tales of woe.

But deep down in my bones,
I somehow seem to know
that you'll show me something beautiful.
Thank you for allowing me to look forward to tomorrow.
343 · May 2015
Bullseye
JDK May 2015
Three chances to hit it big,
with trials of patience between them.
No time to relax, there's cash riding on this,
and you'll soon have to shoot again.
Don't lament over missed opportunities.
Three more shots can make all the difference.
You're due for a win, just stay focused.
Take aim then let it go.
This one is about darts.
343 · Oct 2015
Untitled
JDK Oct 2015
Sticky sweet,
and all but complete.
I'll meet you out there,
and that's a promise.

The next time we meet,
we'll be struck by half-forgotten dreams of things that might not have happened.

Don't you forget about me,
and I'll remember you.

False memories we'll believe to be true.
343 · May 2015
On Display
JDK May 2015
Come one!
Come all!
Come have the time of your life!
The Modern Human Zoo presents:
A Creature of the Night!

Watch him angrily pace his cage by day.
Frustrated and oppressed as he's forced to earn a wage.
But at night, my friends, that's when he really comes alive;
(Midnight showing tickets cost at least twice the price.)
Feast your eyes on this beast's desires.
His rapidly unwinding mind.
His constant need for things unfathomable.
Constantly seeking the undefined - inevitably denied every time!
Stopping at nothing to find but one thing that satisfies.
Nothing ever satisfies!

Come see our finest display to date.
The pride and joy of our collection.
Our latest and greatest prize!
Feed me. FEED ME!
342 · Apr 2015
Side Effects of Alcoholism
JDK Apr 2015
Anything remotely stressful leaves you with the thought of "I need a drink."
You only say clever or honest things when you're hungover.
The taste of orange juice and coca-cola carry a phantom aftertaste of liquor.
******* forget about *****. Can't do it anymore. Drank too much of that **** when you were younger. Just the smell of it makes you gag.
Life only seems worth living if you're a few drinks in.
Three beers later, and suddenly every song is about you.
Sometimes, it's preferable to sleep in your car.
Certain words and phrases haunt you for reasons that you can't explain or  don't remember.
You wonder whether or not your friends even actually like you,
or know you.
Goals seem like fancy unobtainable things that you'll never fully commit to going after.
The end of your poems ****.
I wrote this last night when I was drunk.
JDK Jun 2016
Every point you try to make will never get made.
Everything you say will be twisted.
Before long, you'll realize that you'd been better off never having said anything at all.
After it's too late, you'll spend the rest of your life trying to correct this mistake.
Takes one to know one?
342 · Oct 2015
Relax
JDK Oct 2015
It's alright.
No big deal.
I don't even, I mean,
I didn't even . . .
Nah, really, it's cool.
Everything's okay.
I feel a lot better now.
341 · Aug 2015
Bender
JDK Aug 2015
This isn't going to end well,
but it's already over.
Just another thing to dread
if and when I'm ever sober again.
There's a fine line between never and forever, or maybe it's just all in my head.
341 · Oct 2015
Lump
JDK Oct 2015
If I fell,
would you catch me?
If I climbed,
would you follow?
If I spat out all my insides,
so that I was empty,
would you attempt to fill that hollow?
Some answers are hard to swallow.
341 · May 2013
Hello Beautiful
JDK May 2013
The magic word is "Hello."
The tragic word is "Goodbye,"
And the madness is wondering of who you'll think of in those moments right before you die.

The magic is in the present.
The tragic is in the past,
And the madness is in wondering if you'll ever find a happiness that will last.

The time has come to say "Good night."
That time has come to pass,
And this is no time for writing when all these thoughts are coming so fast.

The beauty is in the infinite.
The eternal is supreme,
But the most beautiful things are happening before I can figure out just what they mean.
"Reality is a question of perspective; the further you get from the past, the more concrete and plausible it seems - but as you approach the present, it inevitably seems more and more incredible."
-Salman Rushdie
341 · May 2017
Prologue
JDK May 2017
The Sad Boy woke up and thought,
"Something feels different . . . "
though he couldn't quite be sure what it was.
Whether a lessening of one thing or an increase of the other,
he simply turned the pillow over then went back to sleep,
wondering.
This is a prequel. Or an intro. Or what's the opposite of an epilogue?
341 · May 2014
Here Now Gone
JDK May 2014
Here it is now but soon it'll be gone.
I won't lament the loss:
I'm moving on.
Everything I've ever known has come back more than twice.
It's a boomerang effect, and sometimes it's nice.
Though sometimes I do I lose myself
in wishing it would stay,
but the night has got to end at some point.
Tomorrow's a new day.
Insomnia part II
339 · Mar 2015
Promises
JDK Mar 2015
If you were grey,
I'd show you all the shades between white and black.

If you were suffering,
I'd be your heart attack.

If you were spinning,
I'd be the equilibrium
to right your world so out of whack.

If you were poor,
I'd barge through the door
with both hands full of cash.

If you were a pool,
I'd dive off the high-board
just to make a splash.

If you were dead,
I'd sell my soul,
just to get you back.
Don't you believe me?
339 · Mar 2015
Backslider
JDK Mar 2015
This aimless floating isn't working out.
I've been living entirely in my own head.
I've been thinking a lot about drinking again.
I'm a ******* island.
If I sink at least there'll be fish to swim with.
Hold out and get through the weekend.
339 · Aug 2015
Life: It's a Funny Thing
JDK Aug 2015
There'll always be a person behind the mask.
Even if the answers were disappointing,
at least we had the gall to ask.

Sometimes when I look back,
I'll smile or laugh.
No matter how bad it seemed at the time,
it all turns out to be alright.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Ha, don't worry about it. I was just thinking about something."
338 · Jul 2015
This Song
JDK Jul 2015
While everyone else is leaving,
I remain seated.
This song keeps me in my car for far too long.
It begs to be repeated.
I'm listening.
I'm listening.
Aside from this music,
**** everything.
I just want to sing.
JDK Dec 2016
I'm going to come back to this one and write it when I'm sober/have a free moment. I just don't want to forget it while it's in my head. I'm just posting this now as a sort-of mental post-it note.
Why didn't I save it as private then? Because I'm pretentious, probably.
338 · Mar 2015
My Verse
JDK Mar 2015
Who are you?
Who am I?
Oh the world.
Oh me, oh my!

Who is she?
Watch her go.
Can it be?
I should have known.

Oh the world!
Oh me, oh my.
Drain the sea and flood the sky.

Who is he?
Who's that guy?
Can it be?
Oh me, oh my!

**** the world.
It's already died.
Here we walk now;
zombified.

Where are you?
Where am I?
Oh dead world!
Oh me.
Oh my.
For W.W.

"We have no need for genius - genius is dead. We have need for strong hands, for spirits who are willing to give up the ghost and put on flesh..."
-Henry Miller
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