I miss you
But i should just fall asleep

I wanna talk to you
But i should just fall asleep

I wanna see you
But i should just fall asleep

I want someone to touch me
But i should just fall asleep

I want someone to make me feel something
But i should just fall asleep

I think i should just fall asleep
But i want someone to love me

You were my oxygen and now It's hard to breathe

Wind blows, air breeze
Big change, The sky changed
Big blue into small grey
Everything turned into a speck
In a blink of an eye
No one even wonders why
Leave me there
Nurturing
And let me die here

I want all of the love back
When you're so obsessed about me and promised we'll make it work
That was then and this is now and while
You're moving on I'm breaking down

I would do anything for you but you went up and said goodbye
I would've walked through hell just to find another way
I would've stood my ground
If I knew that you would stay

You don't want me
Nothing I can do now
You don't want to try anymore

Unloving you is so hard to do
It's like fighting a god

I'll be missing you for a lifetime
but 12 months is better than none

I swore to god I'll never beg and cry
I can't see how it's anything more than a lie

And I'll be here
I won't let them all go

I'll get on fine
I've always found it easy
to hide these thoughts of mine

We both hurt
But time heals nothing at all

Selective amnesia
To keep you away from me

I'll be missing you for a lifetime

Another day, another week, another year
I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
I stay inside so I can hide

Keep suppressing depression
I don’t want to see my reflection
I run to hide from the pressure
A temporary surrender

I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
Think I just need some rest

Don’t need no friend to depend on
Don’t want nobody to check on
Just me and my depression

Lately my heart feels hollow
Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow
Until then I’ll wallow

Another day, Another week, Another year

Can you hear me?
Stuck in your little head
Cant get out and wants you dead
This voices helps you ease your pain
But all they do is make your pain insane
Word by word it cuts you deep
And think for a second that all their words are real
You sit in a corner to prove they're wrong
But then you can't because you're dead inside all along

There's no way you'll stay with a boy like me
Got no car and the same white tee
Stare all night long, and BPD

You can't make it work with a guy like me
Got no style and it's all IT
I wake up from my dreams and I fall asleep

Wish you could be with a tool like me
Rolled NAT 1 on D&D
"He acts like that it's so scary"

No way you'll love a guy like me
Sad best friends and no ID
I don't know why but I can't wait and see


There's no way you'll stay with a boy like me

You're lonely and it's sad
I went for you now you're glad
We're both happy and alive

Days pass and here we now
Got your new friends to talk too now.
You're happy and alive


But what do i do now.

I look good at making bad decisions
Afraid of incarceration
Never gotten permission
High on the pain
Dance in the rain
Get me away
We’re not the same
I’m all out of something to say
Anymore

Burn my lungs with your existence
Throw me like your whole world is a garbage
Feel me like you are breathing the ashes

I'm destructive and dangerous
But you still want me toying with you
It's moronic that i know it

But did nothing to prevent it
You know that i am pathetic
But why in the hell you are still enduring it

So i am running to the finish line and hopefully will end it

You took me out to a bar outside
Where did you go again?
I let you go to your new boyfriend, I hope you think of me

You're in the back of the room leaning on his shoulder
Reminds me of what we did before
Like we used to so long ago

Do you still know the smell of my cologne?
Beneath the pillows that we slept on
I think he's still figuring out how to turn you on.


You know it's true

He doesn't know you like I do
He is the rain but we dance all night in the rain and smile alongside you
He couldn't love you like I do

So if you think he's your home

Call me a homewrecker

Tell me how many times I made you dizzy
Tell me you're better off and say that you miss me

But tell me all about the times he kiss and *******
So that I can distance myself again

I'd rather be lonely than be by myself
I hate my room
I already put my pride on the shelf
Because I don't need help from anyone else
Everyone knows I've been feeling so low
I'm still out of character
"Reckless kid"
Now I'm a lost cause and truth be told
I lie too much to everyone, my bad
Do I even have to start working on it?

I thought I'd die young
All the things I liked failed me
I'll go to hell, I don't even care
I'm staring at a screen where no one stares
I wanna rip out all my insides
Feel every fiber
I don't know how to be myself
I know that it's all costumes
Funny dances that play in my mind
I won't hold on to something familiar
They keep letting me down
I'm just gonna acknowledge the gifts from my past


Until I run out of time

You're always on my mind
Didn't got a chance to speak my mind

You told me It'll past
But it's already Nov 12th

Should I give it all up?

I can't hold on any longer
I ruined my head figuring out

Should I give it all up?

Please hold me for a moment
But you left wide open
Still I'm one call away

Should i give it all up?

I have been thinking too much
Sick of being worthless
Feels like I'm a fake
Am I not doing enough?
If wishing is real I wish for me to be brand new
To be finally someone that you wanted
Or maybe I can still save this
no.
Heart beats fast
Panic sets in
Chasing shadows
I'm not gonna last
Maybe I'm hopeless
Losing my life
Floating
Going through motions

Sorry sir am I too late?
I don't wanna talk about how
My vision is blurry and dark now
Voices are louder in my head
Sabotaging all my thoughts
I gotta wake up from this nightmare
Do I even really try?

I want to go outside
But the look of the wind outside felt hard
I want to go far away
To anywhere you want

But I rather watch Peter Pan
Because I really need the distraction

I really need the distraction

Is Peter Pan on?
Because I could really use some distraction

Because sometimes, It scares me how much I think about going for a walk.

If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial
Got no place to call home
I feel foreign in my own mind
I'm tired of living like this
Everything is hardly mine
Dreams getting smaller
The blue is getting stained
Even when I rearranged it
My name doesn't even make sense
I can't do this anymore
All things weigh me down
If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial

I'm not stuck, I'm just tired
Even familiar places are getting foreign

I know I don't belong
I'm better when gone

I experienced all of you just to prove something
I think I'm still fast enough to fly away from here
Still gotta make a decision

I took half and watched me watch you
City lights lay out before us
Your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

Now I stay out drinking late
See more of my friends than you
I keep questioning why I stopped

I want to leave
I want to get out

I want to create a rocket
Fly away into this prison

Find my own Planet
Name it as my own

I want to leave
I want to cry

I want to be happy
I want to be alive

Changing something that everlasting
Is stupidity.

It's like changing a sand with a new sand.
But it's still there underneath the ground.

Changing something you like with a different brain
and different skin.

But what you like about me
Is still there with him.

An upgraded version of myself that i can't do.
All i can do is look at him

And think what the **** am i going to do.

She said I like you can you come through?
I don't want to feel that way can you pass through
Waist pressed on you while the night is alive
Thinking of ******* you in the bedroom
falling from you in a vacuum

found you online
we had fun times
crossing your mind
call me next time

loving
caring

Focus is lost
Blurring on these emotions
Think of me when you shut down

Waking up in the noon
With a ***** in my hand
First words that comes into my mouth
Is about how my life's been a drag

Everyone hates themselves
But i feel like i hated myself long enough to be hollow
I don't care anymore
I give up on the things that i love

I hate being pathetic
But being pathetic is all i have got
What did i do to deserve this
Did i did something wrong

I don't know anymore
I don't
Feel like opening my eyes anymore

Because waking up
Just hurts

Love is a drug and I'm all out

Fill up the dosage put it on high
**** me up and let someone take me to the hospital

Love is gonna make you high

Be careful not to get too high

Because the fall

Is gonna hurt a lot.

you've been stagnating
pyramid slowly getting covered by the sand
When?
Where?
Why?
small increments
a bump on a line
a beat
forever there
slowly moving in a place not moving
stuck

Wondering why my life is so boring
Even though i am capable of doing everything
I can learn languages, learn how to play the guitar
Make friends with a lot of people and even make a book

But i won't
Because i am unmotivated to make my life better
Because i have lost all hope to do things better
Because i don't really care about myself

And i hope that i can get rid of it
Just like everyone else

I'd be lying if I say that I don't want you
I missed you dearly
But you left me
Now I'm so uneasy

Clearly

You didn't want me back
Now I'm wandering the halls picking up the pieces, no clap back

Come back
That's all I ever needed
But I know it won't be the same
But at least there's still the pieces

I'm sick of the pleases and excuses
I don't even know what I did to even feel this

Baby I keep looking at the creases for mistakes
Only thing I ever wanted was your grace

It's all over now
It's all over now
It's all over now

Let the credits die.

Fly away now little bird you're free.

Be one with the wind and find a nice tree.

I hope you find someone and treats you like me.


I may be gone but i still care.

I hope no one hurts you while you're there.

If you need me i'll be here.

Waiting and thinking you're still here.

I think it's time I had a reset
It wasn't something I didn't foresee yet
Deep breath, reset.

It really hurts to play the part
I kept on running from the past you
I guess I didn't really have too
And I miss the clouds up high

Skyscrapers I am running
And I miss the sounds of the night

Saying that I could be something to you
or maybe I'll be nothing
I've nothing to prove

It all hurts the same way

Bubbie you don’t understand
I don’t want my world to end
I spend all my serotonin on you
This past few months I keep pretending
That I’m serenading you

Say whatever you want to say but my breakdowns keep holding me from saying the truth

I did everything again just to ****** it up again
I spend all my serotonin on you
I have to use substance so that i can keep imagining me and you

Please sit down, you don’t understand
I spend all my serotonin on you
You’re trying to forget about me
I’m trying to keep you in my head

I did everything I can but somehow I ****** it up again
I spend all my serotonin on you

I’m tired of playing pretend
I want to see your smile again
And now I can’t get a word in
So please understand
I want to do everything I can
I spend all of my serotonin on you