If it were one of the girls
I would tell them to run
Why do I not think I’m good enough to run

It’s in the good morning texts
And the look of pain when he smacks my ***
The way you tease me about Joanne
And spray cologne to visit me on a Sunday afternoon.

It’s in the way you stroke the crest where scalp meets face
Brushing my hair behind my ears
And then stroke where legs meet hips
Making my toes curl and back arch

I love you.

in this world
everything  is important
before getting
after loosing

Tonight I won’t sleep
Maybe tomorrow I won’t eat
And the next day I may turn into a Marlboro Chimney

I try on different ways to **** myself slowly

Taught to think a partner is happiness
But never being truly happy with ourselves when we are a partner

Constantly trying to be better than the pornstars, models of his dreams
And let’s be real
Better than his mother

Sometimes I drive so far down the highway of my mental illness
My loneliness becomes my whole.

I’m just spinning in circles
Looking for signs
Looking for the road map.