Sabrina

Sabrina Dec 2019

what a waste of my time
wish you weren't in my heart and on my mind
i'm feeling so pathetic
seriously this is just like liking a celebrity
a waste of my emotion
and i won't forget it
i'm feeling like i'm trapped
in my own dungeon
that i call my mind
but i'll say i'm alright
just to try to fool myself
even for tonight
I'm feeling so ******' pathetic
An absolute mess and I won't ever forget it
****, I don't even really know you
And you don't know me
We never speak
But the thought of me maybe one day meeting you keeps me company
Though.. in reality
I know it's a waste of my time
Want you out of my head
Out of my head
Out of my thoughts
But so far I'm not really succeeding
No matter how hard I try
You always pop up somewhere
I don't wanna have feelings for you
Anymore
I don't want to have feelings in general
Anymore
Love is exhausting
Falling for someone
It is tiring
I know I can't do much about it
I try to get your attention but honestly
It's becoming not even worth it
The chances of me ever getting to get close is barely positive
But for some ******* reason I keep holding onto the feeling
Holding on to that straw of hope
While I'm sinking in an ocean
And I'm struggling to get back up
I don't know how to swim, and no one can save me
Well isn't this just my luck?
I feel so ******* pathetic
A sad excuse for a human
Wish you weren't on my mind, in my heart
And the thought of you makes me fall apart
Basically like liking a celebrity
Absolutely no point in hoping
But this straw of hope is stopping me
So I dream that one day
Maybe I'll at least be your friend
Maybe I'll at least let go
So I can survive as long as I can

why must i love someone i can never have

#love #depression

Sabrina Dec 2019

ấ̵͉̼͔̼̾̉ṋ̵͙̠̈́͋ṋ̵̙́͛͒͝o̷̜̰͇͖͒̔y̶̩̪̒̋̿̋a̷̢͔̅͜͝n̴̮͙̑͋̎c̸̝̓e̷̻̒̋̐͛

g̸̩̕e̶̥͝ț̷́̈́ ̶̪̞̞̂͒̉̍m̸̢͓͋́͆e̵̠̠̝̬͊̍̓ ̸̆͐̋ͅo̶̗̻̯̙̓̈́u̸͓͂̊͒t̵̯̠͎̳̊̓̊͝
̶̗̖̆ö̴͓̙͙̙́f̵̼͎̎̃ ̷̺̭͇̰̃̎̀̋t̵̙̪̼̜̅h̵̡̡͑͑i̸̪͕͕͒̌͆s̴͈͓̀̂́ ̶̞͗́͒s̵̢̡͈̺̈̓͑l̷̡͍̻̋͐̋͝ư̶̺̪̺͑̈́m̷̡̨̒̈́p̶̢̪͉̍̍
̸̢̗́́̑̈g̵̢̙͎̋̿͊̓͜e̷̡̦̜̍͌t̸̗͈́́ ̷͕̜̈́̓̿m̶͙͐̓͊͒ẹ̵̍͐ ̶̜́̾͜o̷̡͕͋͜ǘ̸̟̎͋t̸̯̦̤̯͛͐̂ ̶͓̦̥͉͗͊͋o̴̲̅̓̒f̶̟̰̿̋ ̸͙̳̇͛t̶̛̬̓̈́̃ḧ̶̝͚́͂͛ǐ̸̤̮̩͕͊ş̵͚̼̼́ ̶̢̧̜̾m̷̢͉̜̰̽̃̾̋ǐ̸͖̯̍̊n̵͔̠̖͌d̷̖̠̝̏͝
̵̧̹̎̀ͅț̴̮̙̬͆͌̈́̓ḧ̸̨̢͙̱á̸̜̻̠͎͛͝͝t̴̡̧̲̒̾͝ ̶̧̉ȉ̷͚͙̪̃̈ͅ ̶̫̃͋̈́̑t̴̡̜̀̋ȟ̸̡̨͍͓̍o̷͔̦̒͒ͅͅŭ̵͈̣͝͝g̷̗̜̟̐ḧ̴̢̦̋͐ṱ̴̙̈͗ ̸̡̛̬̜̇̀̓ẃ̸̡̺̖͋͘͝a̸̛̹̠̩͑s̷̀ͅ ̸̢̳̅̈́s̷̡͍̣͖̊́ú̴̫̗͝p̴̡̛̑p̶̲̋́̉̄ͅo̶͈̾̍̈́͘s̴͇̩̅̎̿͝e̶̥͒̐d̵̗̃ ̸̠̯̲͗͂̈́t̶̨̡̨̐̈́̌ͅo̵̧̯͌ ̴̗̤́b̵̡̫̟͗̂͐͘ḙ̴̉͝ͅ ̶̡͇̻̯͋̈k̷̢̭̹̾͗̓͝i̵͈̰̽́͋n̸̛͕̣̗̍͊ď̴̻̦͒̿
̵̨̯̮̖̽i̸͙̙͈̓̔̚ţ̷̰̞̪̿͑'̶̦͊s̵̯̔̍́ ̷̳̎ͅm̵̡̟̔̓e̶̺̬̖̕ͅǎ̴̧̻̘͎̕͝n̸͍̋͂̊
̶̪̑̈̐ẘ̴́͝ͅh̸͕͖̤͉͗̂̕͝ę̶̦͉̥̆r̶̹̿̃̂ḙ̶̹̙̄̃̀̓'̶͎͛͆͝s̵͉̓ ̶̛̤̏͂̾ţ̴͓̫̄̐́͒h̵̞̤̬̙̏̾̇̂e̸̼̼̔̎̓̚ ̶̡̰̪̇͆ḫ̵̪̰̠̇̄ȃ̷̧̰̗̔p̷̖̘͍̯̒͑ṕ̵̠̮̠̓̿̋i̴̧͉͒n̴͖̹͓̜͐͗̔ḛ̴͙̃s̵͈̐̇͐̇s̵͔̆́̚̚ ̷̤̠̔̅̅̾t̴̲̘͍̽̿h̵̛̤͎̀̂͠à̸͉̝̔͠t̸͓̬̘̪̄̿͝ ̷̥͇͚̝̎̀͒i̶̠͍̳̭̒ ̸̠͔̑̑̉o̷̤̖͈̓̄͜n̵͍̱̙̏c̶̮̾̇̆͝ḙ̸̮͙̊̉ ̶̧̛̩̝̆͆h̴̨̽͝a̵̜̫̯͆̏d̶͚͉͗ͅ?̵͕̥̮̐̈́

#depression #anxiety

Sabrina Dec 2019

Untitled

whatever this helpless feeling is
whatever the feeling is called
when you feel so sad
you're almost numb
where you just want to sleep
or disappear?
not die but just
forget
not have these feelings for this person anymore
it's a waste of time
energy
emotion
tears
it's delusional
yet i still would do anything
just to talk to him
why
what's wrong with me?

#love #depression #sick

Sabrina Nov 2019

i'm pathetic

Out of all the souls that are walking this world,
Why do I have to like you?
The one with the killer smile,
the laugh and voice that makes me happy
and just receiving attention from you for a second
brings me joy.
I'm pitiful and pathetic,
you're popular and strong.
Everyone wants you so I'm just another ant in the anthill,
aren't I?
Why must I love you,
The one who will never give a **** about me?

#love #depression #crush

Sabrina Nov 2019

Bad Time

I've hurt you
You've hurt me
We've spoken hours into the night
I have heard you voice fill with delight
When speaking to me
Perhaps maybe,
we were meant to be
Though we may have fallen
At a bad time
I desperately wish to say I love you,
and I don't know why
I do not know why these words wish to slip past my lips
So desperately
But I keep them hidden, deep within my soul
As I try to lose my feelings for you
Though I suppose that isn't easy,
It's just not how it goes.
So I'll have another crush, but I've seen the way you look at me
Like I'm the best thing ever, even though I've hurt you so badly
You love me, don't you?
You've said those words to me
Though, I will always ask without hesitation
"Why me?"
Because I believe I am unworthy
A connection, you say we have
Perhaps you're not incorrect
Though I do believe
We've met at a bad time
So if it was meant to be, then trust me
One day we will be at that altar
Saying our vows
Even though right now,
I'm sure you wish you've never met me.

do you even love me anymore? Perhaps I'm delusional
Well, I've always been delusional.

#love #depression #anxiety #commitment

Sabrina Oct 2019

this is useless

i'm pathetic
a sad excuse for a human being
i'm yet another one
who walks aimlessly down the lane
hoping one day i'll be free
from the demon in my brain
i love someone who shall never notice me
i love someone who is too good, even if he did
perhaps i'm not sane,
perhaps love is what's causing all these migraines
maybe one day i'll realize
that you're too far from my reach
you're too popular for me
so if you ever did look at me,
what would i be to you?
perhaps another female fan
begging with a preach
but i see so much in you
and you would never have a clue
honestly, these feelings are tiring
so i have to be poetic
in attempt to show the world what i'm feeling
why won't these useless feelings for you
leave me be?

#love #depression #useless #popularity #crush

Sabrina Oct 2019

melt

i feel as though,
you have a cold exterior
but i can see it
i can tell
that inside,
breaking through the ice
you are so, so warm
but you'll never notice me, will you?

#love #depression #anxiety