Ode to the boy in the gas station
Why are you such a temptation?

You think I'm unaware
But Sometimes I catch your stare
And that kinda makes me scared
Not for the fact that you cared

But what if I fall for you?
Will you fall for me too?
Or have you already fallen?
Is it my heart that will be stolen?

If words could tell you how I feel
Maybe they'd make your heart squeel
But for now I take all the sticks and stones
Just so they won't break your bones

Maybe if I held your hand
The world would feel like distant Lands
But instead you play away with her hair
And take away all her air

Sometimes I wonder if you whisper in her ear
And the thought of it make my heart tear

When I moved here a few months ago
I was so scared of what it would be like to call this place home
But now I sit in class with you and my heart goes "woah"
You make me feel a little less alone

Your hands in my hair
And you whisper in my ear
"There there"
Makes everyone else disappear

Sometimes I wonder
Do you do this for her too?
Because she is your lover
And that's not who I am to you

Me and you set fires
But she makes you smile

I swear if one more person tells me that me being who i an is just a phase
I might lose it
Me liking girls and boys is not a phase
Me cutting my hair short is not me trying to be a guy
Me wearing the color black does not make me a satan worshiper
it doesn't mean I'm depressed girl who's lost her way
no it just makes me who I am
everything about me is not a phase
its me expressing how I feel through the way I look
and it's me being true to myself
So if that makes you uncomfortable then walk away
because i'll keep my head up high
and look at the sky

I know that my clothing might seem dark
And that my face my say *******
But don't be scared
There's a wacky ****** deep down in here
Despite my cold arura and the way I dress
I promise I'm actually nice

I see you looking at me
As I walk away
So happy i didn't stay
But that's okay
I'll try again another day

I reach for the stars
But they seem so far

For Four years I knew I was totally into girls
For three year my mom read the bible to me
For two years I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers
For one year it was like nothing happened

That was four years of depression
Three years of hiding
Two years of heartbreak
One year of not feeling any thing

It was four years of depression
Three years of self hatred
Two years of anxiety
And One year of mental abuse from my cousin

Now I hate the girl in the mirror
I hate her thighs with battle scars
I hate her long hair that's always in the way
I hate her hands for it makes people think she got burned a little but is just a birthmark

But oh how i love her eyes
The beautiful brown orbs
That sometimes seems red