of all the smiles
ever given to me
and there’s been a few
the best smile
was the one you gave to me
in ‘94
as you ran to me
arms outstretched
love unattached
straight into my arms
with your love for me
written all over
the man I knew
you would eventually be.

All of this
means nothing
the grandeur
the opulence
the pride
if we are both dead
inside

Do you love me
he said
I will try
I said

I feel the fire begin to rise within
the belly of the beast.
I fear that the fire will consume me,
so I dim away its flame.

I go through the world,
a shell of being,
with a whiteness in my eyes,
but no longer seeing.

The flame comes to the surface,
but now I know
it is not my demise.
The fire is what makes me alive.
So I spread my wings,
and rise.

If
he changes for you
he changes you too...

Do not drip feed  me
your love
I am not an infant
I can walk.