Words may not seem that dangerous
The knives on my back appear
The words you’ve said about me on each one
The thought of your hatred makes me sick
Why must you say those things
I’ve done nothing to deserve the words said
Your words dig deeper into my back
I once let you have such power over me
Friends forever you once said
Now I am your mortal enemy

The air is getting thick
I can't breathe anymore
The dark clouds follow me
When will this nightmare end
This vicious cycle of pain
Please stop the pain
The stress is eating me alive
I'm fragile and weak
No job is worth this fear
I need money not pain
I'm not me anymore
Confused on what to do
I have everything to lose
All I want is to breathe again

My dreams seem so real
Like you're standing right there
I try to wake as the sight of you makes me shake. I relieve the abuse over and over again. Wondering if the cycle I shall break
Will I be just like you. You say you never had a teacher to show you the ways.
Did I ask for a mother like you?
Did I ever deserve all that I had to take
My mother you say you are but to me you're  a villain hiding in the shadows now. You're just in my nightmares now wondering when you will attack next. Times are changed you no longer have a part of my life. You still find ways to haunt me in my dreams. I lay awake hoping and praying to not see the face of the villain.
Time has come for you to disappear from my thoughts as you are no longer a part of me. You will never know what I am doing or where I am. I hope you lie awake with the dreams of your mistakes I hope you see my face and it makes you weak. It is just a dream they say a very dark dream

The days drag on
One hour feels like a century
Happiness seems too far to grasp
Dead end job
Struggling for air
Why must life be so dark
fading slowly
Life can not continue this way
Anxiety taking over
I must not let it win
It's getting harder to breathe
Where is the light I seek
In this darkness I call life

Some days are harder than others. Sometimes my demons win.
When will they ever stop
They lead me to live a life I regret
my soul they have taken
Memories flash before my eyes
All the times I feared my life
All the names you've called me
Come flooding back
You say you've changed
You'll never change
Mother you're the reason
For my demons
Your apology I shall not take

Tears stream down my face
My heart beat races
Hands are shaking
Grasping for air
Why must life be this way
Anxiety attack again
Screaming for help
Help me stop this pain
No one understands
It's all in your head they say
Anxiety isn't real
It's crushing me slowly
Anxiety is my kryptonite

I'm insecure. I'm weak. I'm not good enough. My mind races. I'm anxious. I'm a mess. I'm far from perfect.
I can't help feeling like I'm constantly battling my demons. They whisper all of the things you've called me. You're disappointment, You'll end up just like her they say. The voices seem to get louder everyday. you're pathetic, they will all leave you standing alone. I'm the only thing constant in your life. I try to fight the whispers but now the voices are shouting. I look in the mirror at my worst enemy it has always been me. I try to **** the voices in my head with happy thoughts but they always come back. The only thing constantly in my life are those voices in my head.

Time ticks by slowly I hear the ticking of the clock as I stop to think about all the times that I've been weak. They told me cutting you out would let light shine in but I'm still weak. You made me this way yet I can't change no matter how hard I try I will always be your greatest victim. Your words are sharper than any knife. They still haunt me in my sleep. Tick tock why can't this time stand still and let me forget everything you put me through. Why must I be so naive to think maybe deep down you actually care about me. They say it's pathetic how all these years I still wish to damage you as you have damaged me. Nothing can hurt you more than losing your children they said. Then why are you still standing? You still play with my mind without even trying. Can this clock stop ticking now it's getting harder for me to think. Then again thinking about you only makes me weaker. you don't get the last word. I one day will finally get my revenge. But for now I'll stop this clock from ticking.