Thisis A Pseudonym

Thisis A Pseudonym Nov 2013

I'm looking at this paper with no idea what to write,
Because all I would like to sound I've already read.
I'm looking at this medium which voices my thoughts,
But I can't seem to write the right words to paint the picture In my head.
I'm living my life the way I think is right,
But all I feel is my emptiness am I just writing to write?

Where did my inspiration go.
I'm looking at this paper with no idea what's gonna be another page.
what possibly can I write that would be heard in this day and age?
Poverty?
economy?
democracy?
society?
illicitly?
Race?
love?
Hate?
Peace?
Despair?
Education?
Fascination?
Condemnation?
Jubilation?
All saturated, there is no space for my view.
I'm looking in my mind to find a topic but I can't fabricate one,
Because all I believe in and hold dear has been written.
I'm looking at this piece of paper with no idea what to write, knowing ambiguity won't give these words meaning.
I'm looking at myself by reading my words.
I'm frustrated at myself for this writers block.
I am trying acknowledge myself by admitting I don't have all the answers.

Thisis A Pseudonym Oct 2013

Fine china

remember the time,well you wouldn't it's my memory,
I was on the Great Wall.
Dreaming amongst the bustle of tourists, but I wasn't bothered at all.
All I could think about was you,since your name is their precious gem, your Beauty ,to me, was greater then what I was seeing.
I was in my own zone my own paradise.
I felt closest to you in this foreign land then I did in my own home, my precious gem.
My heart.
My Jade.

Thisis A Pseudonym Oct 2013

Music

Music is my escape,
My clear landscape
Where, with my words a rhythm,
I can balance my optimism and pesimisim.

Music is my love and hate,
Can't you hear my heart beat like an 808.
Blues ,pop and every sound in between,
It's endless symphonies play in my dreams.

I can always depend on you when life gets tough
You make me tremble,cry, puff and laugh.
The last thing I hear every night
Music you are my life.

Thisis A Pseudonym Oct 2013

A Saving grace?

I never thought I would be in this position .
Even considering such a notion.
****** ,the most grotesque of actions,
But it would be a mercy.
Trade the loud intolerable menacing world
for the peace of that dark abyss .
It would just take one maybe two swift strikes
Then life would just drain, then a cold sensation would consume you till your numb.
"That's what I've read",
seems painless enough...

It hurt for a bit but it wasn't the worst of pains
The water is quiet soothing I feel all the aching just wash away smooth as velvet and just as dark
The chill is refreshing, my sight is weaning as is my sense of touch
I let out a sigh.
So tired so..vee-rr..y... t-ii..r...
'this is my saving grace'

One of my dark state poems I'm not in any way condoning suicide I just wrote this to show the rational of it

#peace #dark #insanity #suicidal #lastwords #abyss

Thisis A Pseudonym Oct 2013

Fallacy

I can read you like a book,
A deep gaze in to your pretty brown eyes is all it took.
They're the windows to the soul after all
And yours left mine enthralled
That Much beauty in such little space?
You move irrespectively through the world at your own pace.
I'm sure you've heard it before but,
your smile brightens a room
You look my way again, I try not to loom.
If I could I would but I don't think I should.
Confess,
What would I have if I lost my dream?
What if my idea of you is all a want...
Yes that's it I don't love you.
Just the idea of you,
I'm content with that ...

Ha such a fallacy.

Thisis A Pseudonym Oct 2013

Just a concept

Can you prove it,
Reality.
Even though me and you can persive the same thing,
That just validates what we are seeing in our
Reality.
could it be that reality is just a concept?
If so does the mean we can contest it?
Better yet best it ?
If you think you can you will.

Random thoughts of motivation hidden in a cloud of doubts

Thisis A Pseudonym Oct 2013

Lonely

Why do I feel so empty
I have what most dream of but I feel hollow
I'm trying to see in to myself it's like looking through a hole for a key
I think it's locked me out sorrow
Because if I don't know what's making me sad
It will only bring more sorrow
It's self presavation and I can't get mad
It's my self that put me in this position
I get so angery to know I hold the key
Me and my inner me are in a Juxtaposition
But the bottom line is its all on me
Cause I'm a result of every thing I've thought
And all I'm thinking is I'm alone
But its something that life had taught ,me
That I am alone
I have been forced to distrust on sight
I must see your true colors in that light
I would like to know that it's alright
I think "can I trust ?""you just might"
To put what little faith I have in to someone
And that faith is abuse from day one
Or two Or three
I think "there playing you can't you see "
"shut up you always do this,
no matter who I'm with "
"I do it for your welfare,
I must make you know no one cares"
"But this one might let's give them a chance"
"***** what you saying" I didn't even take a stand it fueled my like a lance
I thought he was right no one pays thought to my story
And the ones who do leave in a hurry
I'm so lonely