You see her laughter,
The sparkle in her eyes,
Full of mirth and life,
But
You haven't
Seen her tears,
Clutching at darkness,
At her lowest,
Screaming
In the silence of the night
And swallowing
A thousand more screams inside.
You see her gentleness
In a world full of indifference,
You haven't seen her grieving,
Clawing at her bruised heart,
Demons battling in her head
And monsters reigning in her heart
As all hopes turned to dust.
You see her whole,
But you don't see
The scars in her soul
Where light enters
And makes her shine
Like a Phoenix
Reborn from the ashes.

I had this epiphany today-
Toxicity still flows in my veins,
I inherited it from you.
I didn't think I still had it in me -
But I still search for you,
Unknowingly, unintentionally
In everyone I meet,
Whether in physical resemblance
Or emotional negligence.
I seem to be unable to break free
Of this vicious cycle.
It is true
No one will ever break me
The way you did,
But still
I would rather not repeat history.

My fractured dreams,
A kiss, a cry, a greive,
Another relative splinters into moonlight
Another friendship wrought into iron and stone.

My heart survived you,
Now, it can survive
All the storms
All the apocalypses in this world,
It knows this much.
But it is still not invincible.