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Dev Aug 2018
you are rain on a gasoline fire
you pour over me, calm
you write words that are meant for him
and as a result re-ignite my soul.

I tell myself I'm crazy
that you're my friend and nothing more
but lately i can't deny you
and your torrential rain as it pours

And maybe we were meant to be,
and we're both denying it.
And maybe, you were meant for me
but I'm too scared to prove it.

I don't want to be jealous or hateful
but right now i hate his guts
I joke with him and torment him
because making him uncomfortable is enough.

but i hope you realise some day soon
I hope that i might tell you
because you're beautiful, adorable
inside and out, and i just want to be with you
Dev Aug 2018
I've become numb
to the blatant stares
of those who 'care'
while splitting hairs

I've become numb
to their irritated wiles
they get me to smile
for memories they file

I've become numb
to their heartbreaking games
they use to shame
and try to tame

I've become numb
cause you've broken me down
now i lie on the ground
while my pieces surround

I've become numb
and I can't feel anymore
so you close the door
while you weep and I pour

I've become numb
there's nothing left to say
you couldn't fix me
I wasn't broken.... before anyway
  Aug 2018 Dev
Nyx

You once asked me

Why won't you tell me who you loved?

I responded gently
As if speaking to a child

When you love somebody
So closely and dear
Its a moment in your heart
Where your mind becomes clear
Painted so vividly within your thoughts
The ones that you love stands bright and tall

The moments we spend together
They were special
Nobody knows about it
The more people who know
The less special it becomes


I smiled to myself
As I dazed off about that time
To which you countered with

How do you know if he felt the same?

Silence filled the air
As I thought for a moment

Quite frankly I dont know
I have no solid proof
It was unspoken between us
It was a breif time of our youth


Then why is it so special?

Because I loved him
No matter if those feelings
Were returned or not


Dev Aug 2018
Oliver was a beautiful boy who rumpled up my world,
I never told him that he did that.
I don't think he wanted me to.

Oliver was a smart *** boy who crumpled up my heart.
He'd use it to play, then throw it away
but I guess I'm fine.

Oliver loves a girl now, and they're "getting in" with eachother
and thats really great...for him
I've been tossed like trash

I don't think Oliver meant it when he said such nice things about me
I think maybe he felt bad, or pitied me,
or wanted me to feel good

because Oliver and I are friends...
it's apparent it's no longer something more.
Dev Aug 2018
I want to be needed,
no i need to be needed.
You don't even understand
and its hurting me now
Dev Aug 2018
my head is mess
of thoughts that i dress
with an over the top
scheming smile

my head is a mess
with thoughts, i confess
that nothings as it seems
at least for a while

my head is a mess
and though it is less
appreciated for it's
beauty

my head is a mess
of my thoughts that i dress
with lies, i wish
you could see right through me.
whine whine whine
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