Dear Mommy, can you hear me?
Dear  Mommy, am i the person you wanted me to be?
Dear Mommy, I'm sorry your life is not what you hoped for.
Dear Mommy, I'm sorry grandpa went to Heavens door.
Dear Mommy, I really do love you...
Dear Mommy, don't do it, please, is there anything i can say or do?

I know this isn't what you wanted your life to be like.
But it's like learning how to ride a bike...
Sometimes you have to fall off and scrape your knee..
Sometimes you feel the wind on your face, and finally see..
I know we aren't the best of kids and i promise we will do better...
Please mommy, don't write that goodbye letter...

Dear Mommy, i am writing this to you, though you will never see..
Dear Mommy, i still love you, even after all you have done to me.
Dear Mommy, i am sorry for the pain in your heart..
Dear Mommy, please don't leave us, we have needed you from the start.
Dear Mommy, i don't know what else to say or do..
Dear Mommy, i really do love you.

Life has been hard for you.
And it has been hard for me too.
I want you to know  i love you and i will always be here..
Please, put down the gun, you're doing this out of fear..
Taking your life away won't make things any better for you.
It will show us, if life gets hard, we can do what you do..

Dear Mommy, please, don't say goodbye..
Dear Mommy, i know what it feels like to want to die..
Dear Mommy, i can see your pain and i want to help you.
Dear Mommy, if you die, i die too.
Dear Mommy, i am begging you to see..
Dear Mommy, through all this pain, you still have me....

It's been three years and seven months since i seen your face.
I remember when i was little, and you would chase...
You were the dad i never had, and for that i am forever thankful.
When i think of you, i can't breathe and it's too much to handle.
I am sorry for the pain you went through, i wish i could have taken it from you.
I miss all the times we would spend together, and the time i could talk to you.

I was there on your last day..
And i didn't even know what to say...
I wanted to whisper i love you, and it will all be okay...
And at one point i did, but, you didn't make it to see another day..
I should have stayed by your side like you stayed by mine.
But i was selfish and i thought you would be fine.

I'm sorry daddy, for all the pain you felt before the end.
I miss you and i don't know how to make it through; to pretend.
I would give anything in this world to see you one more time...
I would give anything; commit any crime...
I never knew what i had until i lost it, and now i have to pay the price.
I would give anything to be able to go and make up for not being so nice.

I watched the monster inside slowly take over your body, i watched you die.
I held your hand as i watched you laying in agony, but you didn't cry.
I wonder, were you being strong because you know it was the end...?
....Or were you being strong, because you knew i would fall and bend...?
I would have done anything to take the monster out of you and put it in me.
But I guess that's not how it happens, see...

I grew up knowing I had the best grandpa in the whole world...
I remember when you watched me as i twirled..
All those good memories are just wiped away by the pain of your memory.
I would do anything in the world to have you back in the world with me.
There are days when i wake up and i just wanna close my eyes and fade away.
I wake up thinking, 'Why do i have to live another day..?'

I don't want this life, and you fought for it...so shouldn't i be grateful..?
But instead i am hateful.
I want to tell me it's alright, that i will be okay..
That i will soon see a better day..
But you can't and i have no idea how to accept that you're gone from me.
I would give anything to have you back, give anything to just see...

You are the one other person in this world who believed in me..
You never judged or made me feel not good enough, you saw me for me.
I am sorry for the pain you went through; you never leave my head.
I think of you, and all i wanna do cry and lay in bed...
But it's time to say goodbye...
No more pain left, and no more tears, because i know you are always nearby.

Memories are monsters, and I don't mean the kind who live under your bed.
These are the kind that hide in the shadows of your head.
They sneak up when you least expect it and choke you.
Gasping for air, but they just hold tighter, taking all the life out of you.
Good ones are monsters of the past.
Bad ones are the monsters who put you in a cast.

Good memories haunt the days of sadness, they show what you had and lost.
The bad are willing to end it, at all cost.
The good ones scream for hope.
The bad cut your wrist and tie the rope.
Memories haunt her wrists.
Memories haunt the shattered pieces of her soul, leaving a darkness kiss.

You wanna know what she does to hide the pain?
All the ways she holds herself together, so she can stay sane.
That smile you love so much, it holds back a darkness unknown to you.
She cuts her wrists to make sure you never do.
She is shattered, and on the verge of saying goodbye.
But none of you will cry.

She wanted her mom, that's all, but when she tried...
Her mom told her she would be better off if she died..
So, that's what she will do, take away the pain of her mind.
All the memories at first were pleasant and kind.
The one person she needs most is lying in a grave.
She is trying so hard not to be afraid, but she was never good at being brave.

She draws her memories in blood, because no one can see the pain she hides.
She is stuck between two divides.
What do you do when you have no one and nothing left to live for?
When death comes beckoning with an open door.
She ran into the arms of the monsters; faded memories.
They swallowed her in sad melodies.

She whispers into the night, knowing no one will hear her pleading.
She longs to make it all stop, especially the bleeding.
Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding, and more bleeding, the blood won't stop flowing.
The room is spinning and glowing.
This isn't what He would have wanted..her dad.
He would be angry, hurt, disappointed...sad...

But this isn't how it's supposed to be, she is supposed to be okay.
But what is  okay, who even knows what it feels like to WANT to live today?
She is done with this life and all those who promised to make it better.
But who to write goodbye to, no one would read her last letter..
No one would take the time to read her goodbye, so she won't write one.
Don't play dumb..don't wonder why she did it; it's done.

'Goodbye to the one who loved me truly.
Goodbye to the depression who made me do this so cruelly.
Goodbye to the mother who never wanted me alive.
Goodbye to the one who knew i would thrive.
Goodbye to the one who was always there for me.
Goodbye to the one i never got to be...'

Her final words, but who will even care.
No one will even notice her empty chair.
Just another nameless face in a crowd.
She was once so full of life and proud.
But now it's all over, and she is saying goodbye.
She was the one who you never tried to save, the one who you let cry...