Let my words
continue to carry beyond this page
and into my veins
for purpose, for clarity, for understanding
of how lovely the days have become
now that I've found you
Let my words, on this page
entwine in our veins
and my worries slowly disappear
now that Ive found you
                 I wrote of you once before we met of how my words would blossom and expand and touch the sky just for you
how I would have a million different combinations of letters and words..
a thousand ways, just to tell the world how I feel about you
so here I am
affection felt, feelings bared
Love is suicide
Hyperventilation, Cardiac arrest
I am crippled by the absence of your warmth when you're not around
Struggling to be free, Whilst chained to the ground
Love is passion
desire fueled, velvet kisses
moaning pleasure, telling sighs
firmly pressed, flawless motion
sweaty bliss, drops of lust
stained flesh with satin fervor
Love is the hope 20 years from now
I'll still be writing of you under the night sky whilst admiring the moon after we finally calmed our son's nerves down about his first day of school in the morning
Love is idiotic
Its so much easier to push someone away, than to let yourself become vulnerable
To give them the power to hurt you.
Showing your true feelings is relinquishing all your power.
Trusting someone to not take advantage of your weaknesses.
And that, is an absolutely ridiculous act
Once weakness is spoted, it is used and abused, untill you are just a quivering mess lying on the floor, wondering how you ever let yourself get into such a situation.
love is in its whole all of these things
and I love you

most days i sleep my mornings away
sleep the deep feeling of my pain away  
running away from my depression into the comfort of nothingness
no sweet dreams
no beautiful nightmares
just a wide oblivion  
but today.. this morning
I woke to a wonderful sunrise and pain so strong
everything I've kept suppressed
I felt every ounce of pain shooting throughout my body
through every nerve  
I felt like i was drowning
imagine three hundred pounds of held back emotions.. no longer just pain
Throw me into the ocean
sinking
suffocating
swarming me
i can't breathe anymore

My mind is cluttered with unwanted
thoughts and memories that trouble me, leaving me without a place to escape.
My mind which was once my safe haven, is now a corrupt and unpleasant place to be.

Have you ever taken the time to sit back & think about life? The ups and downs, the struggle, the pain. The heartache & despair  
Have you ever laid in the grass and looked up...Thinking...how beautiful the night sky & if there was a place for you out there in the stars.
Have you ever felt abandoned? Like there's no one there to listen to you. No one to help you. No one to comfort you when you're in pain. No one to talk to. Or no one that understands you.
Have you ever felt trapped in your own mind? That the troubles in your life bother you even in your sleep & you can't seem to escape from them.
Have you ever lost someone special to you? Someone who you needed & thought that "if only they were here, my life would be easier."
Have you ever felt so drained, emotionally & spiritually? Like nothing seems to go your way. And it feels like even God has deserted you.
Have you ever felt so stressed that you drop everything & isolate yourself trying to escape your problems?
Have you ever broke down, because you tried to hold so much in & the gravity of your own thoughts start to weigh you down?
Have you ever..burst out in rage, not because you're angry but because there's so much held inside you?
Have you ever been asked "what's wrong?" But there's so much wrong that you don't know where to begin........Have you ever?