iM sOrrY bUt I cAnNot find a way to breathe because you're
back and I'm not there and you're smiling and I'm crying
and you're laughing and I'm drowning my thoughts into a pen
without enough ink to put all my ideas onto paper and
i aM cHokIng oN yOuR sMile and how happy you look
I used to make you smile I remember when we were never
like that I remember when I never took you breath away
not like you did to me I remember crying early into the morning
because you aren't by my side I remember suFfOcAting
I remember hOw you never cared about me I remember loving
you so much that it would shock me and now you are back
and you never told me because you don't care and you
never did and ******* because I cared. I would've been
there despite what happened I would've hugged you
I would have stayed I wouldn't have run away I am not her
and I never will be but you don't care about that or me
I am nothing but a last priority you only talk to me because
you pity me and stupid stupid me for believing you when
you said I love you back I should have known that
nothing lasts forever, but God I honestly thought we would

(h.l.)

I said no to drugs once.
I looked a bag of **** right in the face
and, like a loving but firm father,
I said, "No."
I was really high.