It may look like it’s easy for me to fake a laugh

Behind it is a heart tearing apart

Faking a smile, but in truth starts to cry

O God, this face filled with lies



I thought I can suppress my feelings

But in the end, all I can hear from myself

I love you, can’t you feel?

All this time…even if you always push me away



There was this person who told you first

I was beaten ahead even if since long ago

You already captivated me

This face faked with no reaction from it at all



It wouldn’t do any good if you knew

The feelings since long ago kept hidden

Protect a treasured friendship

I must bury these feelings down with me



I am so scared of the time

Shall it comes for me to be rejected

This whole time loving you

How foolish but I just can’t help it



It really hurts but what must I do?

I must put this face expressionless

For I fear you might see

My love that was never meant to be

Minulat ko ang aking mga mata

Bigla na lang naisip kita

Sana’y sa araw na ito

Kahit saglit lang, maisip mo rin ako

Pilit kong sa daan iwasan ka

Ngunit, maya maya’y nasa harap na kita

Ganito ba magbiro ang tadhana?

Pinaglalaruan ang damdamin, wala nang nangyayaring tama

Nakaraan kong ika’y kasama

Burahin ko man ay hindi mawawala

Tila hangin, ito’y balik ng balik

Iyong ngiti, sa aki’y parang matamis na halik

Kay daming masasayang alaala

Pag mulat ng mata’y ito’y wala na

Lahat ng ito pala’y isa lamang panaginip

Galing sa damdamin, pawang likha

Lamang ng kathang isip

Mga daliri’y nanginginig

Aking mga labi’y sumisigaw ngunit walang tinig

Buong katawan niyayakap na ng lamig

Nang siya’y tumalikod para bang walang naririnig

Kailan kaya matutunaw,

Singlamig ng yelo, mga matang aking natatanaw

Kahit ganoon, isang bagay parin saki’y malinaw

Oo, puso ko’y iyong nabihag at paulit-ulit na ninanakaw

Sa mga nasisilip na bihirang ngiti mula saiyo

Ako’y mapapangiti, tatawa parang baliw ng totoo

Minsan ngiti mo’y kasing init ng araw

Ngunit tuwing ika’y nalulumbay, o luha ko’y umaapaw-apaw

Lubusang nagugulumihanan, nakakabaliw

Bakit itong nararamdaman ni minsan di nagmaliw

Paulit-ulit na binubulong sa sarili walang pag-asa

Ngunit sa loob looban di maiwasang patuloy na umaasa

Tinig ng puso ko’y hinding hindi mo napapansin

Di bale patuloy kang mamahalin ng palihim ng aking damdamin

Hihintayin ko ang pagtunaw ng yelo lumipas

Kahit abutin ng walang hanggan ang lamig ng pag-ibig na dinaranas

I've been lying to myself all this time

All this time because I know you'll never be mine

This deceitful face in front of you I use

Feeding you with bunch of lies, I couldn't take if you I had to lose

Those three words I would always tell you everyday

Is the only truthful thing despite those lies just so you'd stay

I'm sorry, I promised myself, I wouldn't fall, I couldn't fall

I wouldn't fall for you, I can never break between us this unbreakable wall

Whenever you're gone, there would always be an empty feeling within me

But whenever you're here right beside me, Oh how my heart would warm up when you're the one I see

How easy for you, it would take no effort to make me smile

In return, I'd always be there for you even if I had to run a thousand miles

I just really hope that this deceitful face would never reveal

Would never reveal what my heart's been trying to conceal

I just can't help it no matter how hard I try to hide

I keep on falling for you but I can't because you'd leave my side

Please don't leave me when that time would arrive

When I was heartbroken and dead, you were the only one who kept me alive

Through bliss and sorrow, you were always there

But I'm forbidden to fall for you, life is so unfair

Though I know that this love will never be mutual

I still fall for you anyway, stupid heart of mine as usual

My face is a good liar, it deceives you and hinders my heart from trying

But if you ask me if I really love you and I tell you I don't, then again I'd be lying

Why are we so quiet?
I will tattoo that question onto the tip of my tongue in the hope that it will smudge onto yours.
Why  -  are we  -  so quiet    ?

"Shhh,"
he tells me in a 3am bus stop
"Loud ain't sittin' right in my ribs."

He's got this idea in his head that god can't save his soul
that god is just a concept
that god can only be found in the crease of a bible spine but

OH,  MY GOD
I LOVE THAT BOY.

It's like when you lean on a piece of wet newspaper and the text imprints on your skin except,
there are no words -
just memories
and they are inked on the inside of my veins like

remember the other week when you were sleeping in my bed and the sun peeked through my curtains and made your eyes flutter?

That's the front page headline.
That's why I believe in absolute perfection
that's how I know beauty isn't just a concept
because I found god in the crease of your spine that morning.

I want every Sunday to feel that holy.

You are a cathedral pointing your spire to the sky saying
"KIRSTY, WHAT CONSTELLATION IS THAT?"
and my eyes search for
ursamajorursaminororionsiriussagittariuspisces-
I CAN'T FIND ANY OF THEM.
How can I align the stars when I have drawn more beautiful alignments
between the freckles on your skin
?

I kept telling you to be quiet until I pulled up your shirt and read the first page of your ribs:

IN THE BEGINNING,
GOD CREATED NOISE.