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Now
When. You made your mind up.
And got up the guts
To live honorably
Gave up all that game ****.
Forgot all about
Who cares or don't
Anymore
And lived for real.
Its like the sky opened.
That **** dam burst
And the water washed
You clean.
On the white *******
Down the stream
I'm now king
Of all I do
Now.
And that's
All I care.
.
The pained and broken often say
that the answers lay in the dark.
Amongst the old shattered pieces
each little torture leaves its mark.

Each scar born holds a sad story
containing fragments of feeling.
Therein lays the whole of truth
and the first spark of a healing.

So what of the shining light
that is supposed to show the way.
All the answers lay in the dark,
so the pained and broken say.



© Pagan Paul (28/06/18)
.
Exploring some of the aspects of depression to try
to understand my own BPD and depression better.
.
the yin and the yang
eternal fires
all of the desires of a human being
when still living
is the challenge
blessed be
the stars and why
the planets moons
and other celestial bodies
cause the poet to wax
and wane
in the lawn just looking
a day the sky was blue
mostly cloudless
as I sat on the stoop
smoking a PallMall
around noon
it was
I happened to notice
in the midst of the green grass
hiding maybe
was a tiny clover
smaller than a blade of grass
a miniature of the normal
variety
I studied it and thought
how many things
have I missed
in this world
socks and shoes sweaters lace
finest trousers heavenly grace
dressed to the nine
going out feeling high
nigh the looks
they are their disgrace
envying my graceful mate
her on my arm
the ultimate date
and how I parade her by those
eyes that turn their heads
looking with hate
and how I bring her
home to rest
in heavenly sleep
and purest love
I will not brag about the best
we do at dawn
I keep that for her
and her alone
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