sometimes
i don’t want you to know me

i want to walk past you on the street
raise my eyebrow and look at you
while we pass under the streetlight
and swing my hips
so that you turn around
and turn back to your friends
to whisper about me

i want our shoulders to accidentally touch
and i want you to feel your skin tingle
beneath the shirt you wore
--the one that is tight on your muscles--
hoping you would see me

i want you to wait for me by door frames
to walk me to class
and live for the moments i giggle at you

i want you to find my fears
and ache to protect me from them

i want our lips to touch
and i want yours to part
and breathe in
because you couldn’t have imagined
a first kiss
like that

i want you to be unable to stop thinking about me
keep my name on your tongue all day
until you dial my number
and call to talk to me

i don’t want you to know me
because i want you to fall in love with me
all over again

I've got a lot of questions
And I've learned a lot of lessons
But the relentlessness to ask 'em
  Always keeps me guessin'
You learn things better the hard way...
Should I starve today
  and spend my money on the lottery?
Or buy a 12 pack and attack another artery
Every day it's gettin' harder for me
But it's feelin' like there's a part of me
That's startin' me to realize
things ain't really like they oughta be.
People's justification and rationalization
Keep me tuned in on a station
findin' life even more evasive.
and I find myself just wasting
all my patience on just waitin'
and thinking in contemplation
When I awaken...
Will I still wander while I wonder
And wonder while I wander
How much longer
it'll be
'til we grow strong enough to see
that what we actually believe
isn't fact
and we've been decieved
everyone will be relieved
That we just need to plant a seed
And a new garden will grow
Like it did so long ago to make today
And in our day and age
It seems that things will never change
But change today or walk the plank
Steady movin' up the ranks
Until I stopped and thought in thanks
to the conclusions I draw and then erase.
Listen to my inner dialogue it says...
Only reason we're breathin'
Is cuz while others were bleedin'
People were seein' the treason
And called together a meetin'
  To declare authority
A reason of ignoring me
A reason of exploring the seas
A reason of cuttin' down trees
where animals used to breathe and live free.
Instead we lock 'em in cages
or shoot 'em with 22 gauges
It's so outrageous
Our worth is based on our wages
We **** to get some bills
with a buncha old guy's faces
And sit back in amazement
With a smile on our face-lift

Recently I've noticed
These easternly winds are blowin'
'N there ain't no use in holdin'
On no more... so let it go 'n
find that stoic piece of me
  that finds peace in knowin'
The lowest poet on the totem
  breeds off these heroics
The feast depends upon these moments
However brief at least I know
  the beast in me won't go unnoticed
But until then... I guess it's famine
Rid my life of glitz 'n glam
'N all the hype that never happens
Get it right... the somber dampening
Of moods begins to shift gears...
So lift beers
And give cheers
To the silence of the evening
Blinding sirens creeping
Up the mile-high long ceilings
But liven up
I've said too much
Instead I'll lie here bleeding...
Alive and well,
Well, time will tell
I'll swell abrupt
I'm feeding...
Off all the wrongs
That made me right
This song...pause...(breathing)
Then proceeding, to the next verse
No chorus, just repeating
Of course there's an elephant in the room... and it's stampeding
A forceful tug of it's tusk to adjust
Its just a subtle shoulder shrug
Avoidance of annoyances
A poignant bliss so effortless..ly crafted   off relentlessness
Overtired, restlessness
Just exists
The antithesis... is this the best it gets?
so rest assured
that lessons learned
from this existential messenger
may be best left unheard