suffocated in the grip of the unshakeable hands of sorrow and guilt
devoured by the mouth of depression
devoured by the mouth of depression and ****** into a pit in the stomach of despair
there's something familiar in the pain i try so hard to escape
my pain mimics me, deep down I fear its too late

what if
what if i never fall in love
what if i never watch the sunrise with someone more beautiful than the view
what if my parents never love me
what if i fail uni
what if no one falls in love with me
what if i never love myself
what if i never wake up next to someone i love
what if i never look in the mirror and see someone who deserves love
what if

picture this
picture waking up on your darkest morning to your kids crying and knowing in that moment you’re on earth for a reason
picture a first date with a beautiful woman
picture your future wife agreeing to marry you
picture looking yourself in the mirror and being proud of the man you see
picture watching the sunset alone because you’re comfortable enough in yourself that you don’t need company
picture looking back at nights like these and being glad your kids have more nurturing parents
picture this

i don’t know if it’s love or i’m just misguided
i don’t know if it’s love, i have not yet decided

although she keeps me dry in the heaviest of rain
although her soft words help to keep me sane
loving her brings me so much pain
loving her hurts when she doesn’t feel the same

maybe she’ll never love me the i way i do
maybe i’m not enough for her to love me too
she tells me every day how she truly feels
maybe one day her words will sound real

i don’t know if it’s love or i’m just misguided
i don’t know if it’s love, i have not decided