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i saw a beautiful woman who commanded a runway
she saw a horrible bully who had taunted her for years
i saw a man on the train who was ***** and made me uncomfortable
she saw a kind person who had smiled at her and wished her well
i saw a house that was messy and would reflect on me poorly
she saw an opportunity to keep herself busy
i saw a news story telling me the world was going to end
she saw a story telling her the world was going to end
because when the world is going to end
suddenly we are all the same
i was always ahead of the game
i wrote the rules
decided who played
if you control the stakes
it doesnt matter how badly they lose
it isn't your loss
it isn't happening to you
i wrote the rules
she is a woman with a crooked smile
a lost soul lingering
taking up space
wasting time
she smiles with a lopsised grin
putting on a clown's persona
to make the load feel lighter
but the load is not lighter
it is merely hidden
the load is not lighter
Shame is a man that I know well
He lingers near my bedroom doorway
Watching me undress
Scanning my movements
He documents my every transgression
So when the time is right
My guilt can be displayed
Shame is cunning that way

Shame is a woman that I cannot relate to
She calls me a ****
Woman attacking woman
Mocking the concept of sisterhood
Spitting on the idea of love
Destroying the human in all of us

Shame is an infectious disease
That I caught as a child
Deadly, contagious
Telling me lies, brutally outrageous
Like I am ugly and worthless
Like I am not enough
Shame is a toxic addiction
That we should all try to give up
shame is cunning that way
I have not forgotten you
I could never forget the ocean
If you are the ocean
I am the skeleton lying on the bottom
I am the lifeless mess
Broken next to a love boat ship wreck
I am drowned and crowned in shame
Buried in the consequence of all of my mistakes
I have not forgotten you
Your ocean voice is clear in my mind
I only have one question
Have you left the corpse of my love behind?
i only have one question
I would rather have integrity than popularity
I would rather be alone but be kind
I would rather be poor than have money made from crime  
I would rather know a bitter truth than live a life of lies
I would rather have one true friend than a group that can't be genuine
I would rather die at twenty one if that short life was filled with love
I would rather be shot than use a gun against another
I would rather be female just to prove we have it harder
I would rather have integrity than popularity
I would rather live in my fantasy than in your reality
i would rather be female just to prove we have it harder
you are my secret
but you won't be for long
your name keeps slipping out of my mouth
a friend here
a colleague there
each time i feel a little less scared
i almost texted my sister
the most open minded member of my family of six
but i kept my mouth shut
trying to practice patience
you are my secret
but i want to tell the world
how i dream of you in technicolor
how i want to be your girl
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