Hey! I know you hear me,
I know **** comes at you
With intent to blind u so u can't see.

Tip, tipsy, drunk, insanity
I'm screaming and yelling
I love you infinitely.

You've ran, you've hid.
From the memory of
All u did.

Two kids r awaiting.
Keep going and they'll b hating.

Why, do u fall so far?
What if u pass out,
Behind the wheel of a car?

I'm fighting not to yell and curse,
Cause I dont wanna be following a Hearst.

You call me. Confused.
Don't like this abuse.
It's all around you.
People tryn to use....

Use your soul.
Until it's old.
Rotten and cold.

Can't seem to get in your head.
Show u where to go,
Cause I don't want you dead.

Aaron. Let's the air in the room.
He smiles and lights up.
Life is good. For the turn of the moon.

That ******* bottle.
I wanna break them all.
Tell u that u can't wallow.

Your inner strength is your pain.
And when u cry it's like the pouring rain.

I never saw my mom's death.
I can never say I've had it worse.
U sat all alone at 8yo.
And watched her last breath.

I know that's where it comes from deep within.
U fight day by day. To not pick up that sin.

A guiding hand,
A word of might.
Maybe if I tell u how much
You matter.
U won't die tonight.

To a dearest friend
Aaron.

I love you, you r my family.
Those kids who made it out of hell.
Still hiding in that hard shell.
Cuz we don't know where else to be.

I said I believed in u.
And that was no lie.
Can't imagine how painful it is.
That I gotta watch u cry.
Fear. And doubt crumbles the hope
You hide.

No matter what!
I forgive you.
I always do.
Can't be on this ride.
And expect everything to be new.

So like I said before...
Put the bottle down.
Sober up.
U can't keep falling
Insideout. On your crown.

*To Aaron.
It's not over.
Until u look in the mirror.
And start caring'.

All I ask for is to connect.
Is that so hard to get?
I'm not keeping people away.
Its not all up to me to give and earn respect.
I'm not intending anyone to take care of me.
Just to be embraced.

I long for a soul pleading for mine.
To take my breath away.
I'm not out to be anything else.
Just myself.
I'm tired of only being useful.
And a simple mistake.
Regret.

You know what it's like to watch time tick away?
As you reach out and find others. A moment.
That lasts only a day.
It's a double edged sword.
Yet feels like I'm walking into the grey.

I spent so many years trying to just survive.
We all go through these moments in our lives.
Where we realize we were the fool.
But we are no less a person for what we went through.
To protect the ones we love. To stop the drowning pool.

Doesn't mean I'm stupid.
Or intend to repeat.
I've repaired that part of my spirit.
The place that hid safely for me.

So when it was time to awaken.
And see what I had done.
I yelled "REDEMPTION!"
I pushed and pulled all the pieces
torn apart together again. I am forsaken.
Fell apart for another scar,
another intention.

For an uncertain future
That I will find.
I get a taste. A small amount of time.
And always in the back of my mind.
I see that it will be gone. A short lived
Ecstacy. A moment in my life's prime.
If no one will persist. Or really try.
I'll never crawl from this crimson wine.
Drunk on ignorant bliss.

I feel a knife plunged deep inside.

No one made me change my path.
That was all me.

So please take that knife.
Be over with it please.

I cannot sit idling by.
Waiting for what others
Decide.

I want to be close.
But sense that im just waiting.
Wanted and hoping.
So I give into my pride.
To taste what is inevitably the relentless tide.

The blood rain.
Extinguished the flame inside.

I spin and spin in circles.
Fighting tooth and nail on
This journey.
Only balancing on a half pipe.

I've known pain. Deeper than this.

Outside hovering.

Is the "DEMON,"
I keep within.

Can't expect **** from ppl.
Can't find the truth.
If you want ME!
Say the word.
I'm not gonna mess around.
Or settle for what is best for me.

And then be forgotten in a whim.
Takes two to tango they say?
Takes your heart to touch anothers.
Don't wait to long.
You cannot hide from decay.

The soul can become grim. Broken,
And full of dismay.

Look folks.
Life's a *****.
But we all wanna think we are okay.
Keep that arm out. So no one gets in.
Eventually, like a psychic.
You are forced to read their minds.

So here it is. My blunt sword.
Go ahead. Plunge it within.
I'll praise you for stepping through
The door.

I WILL NOT be anyones regret.
Anyones useful pride.
Take me or leave me. I'll just keep
Walking on.
It's all I've known.
To pick up
And go.
Haven't seen another side.

If you want me. Take my hand.
I can't make you do anything.
That's why I just hover.
I'm not settling.
Don't hide beneath my grey wing.

I'll be waiting.
Because that's the game of life.
Until whoever finds me.
I'll just stay hidden inside.
With a maniacal grin.

Like a test, for you to see.
I'll remain cold inside.
Until a fire warms me.
When I'm released from this decreed.
From the souls death of memories
that made it bleed.