My Boy
That's what I call him
The one who can make me smile just by sending a single message
My boy, just those two simple words
But they mean the world
Knowing I get to call him those
Knowing that he is my boy
He makes me happy even when the world seems dark
Makes me feel alive
He gives me a spark
I'm forever grateful to my boy
And I hope he knows that too

Sometimes I sit
Staring at the ceiling
Wondering how you would react if I told you
Just exactly how I feel
Back then you'd probably have said you felt the same
Maybe you did, that was a lifetime ago and I can't remember
But would the response be the same now?
If I told you that you're on my mind so often
When I listen to love songs they're on my mind
But so are you
I don't think you'd feel the same
But that doesn't mean that I still sit and hope

Every day of my life is spent
Waiting
Waiting for them to realize
Waiting for her to turn around
Waiting for him to come back
And it's not as if I'm not used to it by this point
I can put up with the waiting I've done it my whole life
All six thousand, eight hundred, and thirty three days
I just don't know how many more will be spent waiting for the day
The day that my mother gets sober
Waiting for the day that I feel safe
Waiting for the day when i don't have to wait anymore
When I can just be me
Truly and freely
Without fear, without remorse, without regret
Spending time with those I don't have to wait around for
Putting the past behind me, where it belongs
And looking to the future, not waiting for anything
Just content
Holding out for something better than this
And so I wait
And wait
Gods know how much longer but I can do it
After all, it's all I've ever known
And for all I know, it's all I ever will

I lay in my room
It's 11, the time when I normally go to bed
Staring at the ceiling and thinking of them
of our late night conversations
bonding through those deep things that we somehow share
trusting each other more than almost anyone else
I think of them with fondness and compassion
With love and adoration
I wish that I could tell them just exactly how I feel how much they mean but I feel as if I did they would leave
or be uncomfortable
and I look at them and think that no they'd never leave never
But I still don't want to take that chance
So I smile on as they tell me about him
About how they feel and I am happy they've found someone who they feel about
Someone who gives them the same feelings that they give me
Someone who maybe, just maybe, cares and feels the same way about them
and I smile and feel so happy that they can have that feeling
Even if it means I must sit in silence

Growing up in this home isn't all it seems to be
Seeing others praise my mom even when she's mean to me
Finding joy in simple things like socks or earrings
Before finding joy in a group of queens and kings
I may not be the perfect daughter or average kid
But I am being who I want to just like my cousins did
I am a strong man, an amazing boyfriend, a lovely son
And if you don't agree with that then you and I are done
I'm not a daughter not a girl
not a sister not a pearl
I'm a boy good and true
And if you don't believe that I don't believe you

fly away
fly away and hope for brighter days
fly away and hope that those who scorn you will listen to what you have to say
because you're words have power and you deserve better than what they've given you
maybe if you fly away they'll give you a second chance
and maybe you'd have found romance
if they hadn't made you
fly away
fly away
fly away