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Ashton Ard Feb 2018
Why can't I be me?
All of this pain,
All of this hate,
Why does it have to be me?


The grey eyes that I call clouds,
The ash sky,
The thunder very loud.

Rumbling in the distance,
I stare up in a trance,
The clouds swirl into some kind of scary dance,

Tear drops fall,
Mimicking rain,
I fall to my knees,
Only to be greeted with grief.

It's all over,
It says,
The wind in its sigh,

I roll over,
Dying,
I let out a cry once more.
The dying is me letting go of my issues, indulging into a cigarette.
Ashton Ard Feb 2018
Help me
by Ashton Ard



Help me,
is something I wish I could say,
Just waiting until the day I can finally be freed from this prison I built around me.
Everyday gets harder to breathe,
I tear at my skin
ripping off the weights holding me back,
making me hold my breath.
It's too late for me to be better,
I've been bottled up for way too long.
I wish I could be strong,
like you all want me to be,
choking back my tears, I wash away my fears,
hoping to leave no trace of who I was.
Who was that girl,
who everyone thought was a lesbian?
I don't know,
because that was never me.
I forced myself into a box,
girls wear pink,
boys wear blue,
Help me,
is something I wish I could say,
just waiting until the day I can finally be freed from the prison I built around me.
Boys play sports,
girls play dolls,
No!
I scream,
This world doesn't see the many colors of who you can really be.
I rip at my chest,
I rip at my hair,
why can't I just be happy?
it's the worlds fault for pushing us back.
We're people too,
We love just like you,
Help me,
I whisper underneath my breath.
The prison walls around me fall down,
I stand in the middle of a field,
A single rainbow stands before me.
Finally,
I'm accepted,
I'm loved,
I'm happy.
Thank you.
Ashton Ard Mar 2018
Mirror, mirror,
Can't you see?
What I see is killing me.
Fat under my chin,
saggy loose skin,
Insecurities take over me,
knocking me to my knees.
Mirror, mirror,
Can't you tell?
What I see hurts like hell,
Hardly any hair,
nothing i should share.
Mirror, mirror,
Can't you see?
What I see is killing me.
- Ashton Ard
Ashton Ard Mar 2018
Poetry for me, is a way to express my emotions, even without using big words like melancholy, or ecstatic. I prefer a simple, laid back approach to my situations, making it a more mindful, and understanding experience. I do use imagery, and symbols, but in a way a reader can understand, such as my current poems “Help me” and “Grey”. Help me is about my struggles with gender identity and sexuality, using the prison walls as a box i had put myself in, not letting myself express who I really am. In Grey, the eyes, the tears, and the clouds dancing is me letting go of my past mistakes, and indulging into unhealthy coping mechanisms. “The clouds swirling into some kind of scary dance” Is when I decided to try my first cigarette, the smoke swirling into the air like it’s dancing. The eyes are grey, mimicking a rain cloud, my eyes going from dark brown to dark grey. The tears are self explanatory, because in the poem I state “Mimicking rain”. I had written stories, and attempted poetry all my life, and writing is a simple way I express myself. Even if it’s a suicide note, to a story, It helps me feel better in the end. Just because I don’t wish to use fancy words in my poems does not mean I don’t know how to fit them in. I’ve studied and loved poetry all my life, and listened to songs that were originally poems. My poems have parts in which they rhyme, and don’t rhyme. It’s a way I help show my emotion, the non rhyming parts showing my aggression towards something. Poetry can have two different types of writing styles in it, and doesn’t just have to be rhyming, or non rhyming. As long as it has a rhythm, and conveys the ideas of what you’re trying to say, It’s fine. -Ashton

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