Everything I touch seems to hold a memory of something I've done wrong
Keeping it locked inside until It sees an opportunity to punish me
I used to think maybe I was cursed
Cursed to live my life always fixing one problem or grieving or healing a forever broken heart
Exhausted I struggle to face the next month knowing another trauma is short awaited
I want to wrap myself in bubble wrap and wait out this wave but I know I can't

You touch my body without seeing my mind
You look in my eyes but you don't know what they tell you
And maybe that's okay
Maybe I don't need you to know me
Maybe I just need you to be with me in this dark hour when the only noise is our breath between us

I search for a connection in everyone I touch
I haven't quite met my twin flame but under the surface of your skin I feel a unique warmth that makes me wanna stay and see the layers of you unfold
Maybe you'll teach me something I have yet to know

We spent a night together and I thought you could understand my mind and see things the way I do
But when we shared our memories you were focused on how my soft lips parted and how I felt in your hands
How I came apart and how my skin glistened in sweat
I'm not sure if I should be as dissapointed as I am but I thought I had a partner in crime that saw the world the same
I was clearly wrong

I called you blue haired boy because it made you a fantasy to me
It made it impossible for you to hurt me when you didn't have a name
But eventually I gave you a name
And you hurt me
You taught me so much but I refuse to be grateful that I ever met you

I put so much faith in you. After so long of protecting my heart I opened up the dusty long forgotten part of myself and showed you how I work. I fell for you hard and you discarded me like I was worth so little to you. All the whispered words that made me feel so important to you and made me feel safe were a lie. Lies that fell so easily from your lips that built up something big inside of me.

There's something that happens when we're together. Like a magnet I can't seem to pull away from.
My hands find you in every darkened corner, seeking your touch.  Being close to you builds this small cabin inside of my body next to a fireplace keeping me warm and safe.