as I lie down to sleep,
these silent memories,
like snails,
slowly crawl into my head,
every memory stuck on replay,
memories of our last kiss
in your small silver car,
the last kiss shared before we faded  away,
like dust we dispersed into air,
memories of that day still
haunt me,
your face
it wont go away,
those beautiful eyes,
the way your touch sent waves of explosions,
inside and outside of  me
you were the only one who could release that feeling in me,
because you knew me,
you once loved me,
such memories are too precious to eradicate,
to make them go away,
how I wish it would never hurt this much to go to bed,
sleeping in a world of old memories,
and shedding oblivious tears.

If this shall be the end, thinks it best to let you know I was crying and trying but it only feels like im dying maybe im flying, flying with the angels who once tried to take me. Maybe im free, this cant be heaven, because everyday im put through hell hoping there is a plan for me. A plan that the things that tear me down will no longer be a part of me. That i will no longer want to take my own life because i am scared of me, living isnt all what its meant to be, i cant tell you how many times i was close. I cant tell you how many times i tried because i just couldnt find a meaning to my life. Its like a battle and im never winning, Ive never wanted to leave so bad in my life.