I'm so tired...
I'm tired of sleepless nights
In tired of hurting so badly
I'm tired of crying every single day
I'm tired of wanting to just cry
I'm tired of the pain
I'm tired of not saying I love you
I'm tired of not sleeping next to you
I'm tired of wanting to cut again
I haven't in 2 years but I need a release
I'm tired of wanting to drink every night
I'm tired of not having you
I'm so tired...
It's all killing me
Its all making it worse
I just want it to go away
I want it to stop
I'm so ******* tired of the pain!
Every broken piece of my heart finds a new way to break every **** day!
I'm tired of it!!

Depression hits when you least expect it
You can't stop it
You can't put it off
Its like your personal hell
It grabs a hold with a grip of death

It doesn't plan on letting go
It makes you think
Makes you remember
All the things you tried to forget forever
Its like a disease

Its feeling like you're nothing
Useless
Worthless waste of air
A souless body empty shell
Walking around like a zombie

You can't sleep
You can't eat
You can't even muster a real smile
Your laugh is hollow
Your voice breaks

You lay in bed
Under your blanket
Music up too loud
Trying to silence your thoughts
It doesn't help

Nothing seems to help
No one seems to understand
I don't talk
I don't sleep
Don't know how to smile anymore
I don't remember happiness

I want so bad to feel your lips on mine again
I want to feel your lips move against mine
Feel your hands pull me closer and touch my face
I need it.. I need to feel your touch again
I need to be wrapped in your arms when it's cold
I need the random hugs from behind and the surprise kisses
I wish I could feel that again

I steal glances of you when you aren't looking
I say I love you only when I know you can't hear me
I cuddle with you and say how beautiful you are
I play with your hair and let you fall asleep in my arms
I can only do these things when I'm asleep
Because you are no longer with me
I die each day missing you
Holding on to our memories
Wishing it to be a lie
Wishing it wasn't like this
You got me to where I am today
I was able to feel love because of you
I was able to feel beautiful
I saw the light in the sun
I felt the calmness of the moon
I saw stars in your eyes as youd look at me

I miss you every single day that I am here and you're not.

I want to curl up and cry
But I have to try and be strong
I can't show I'm weak or hurting
I want the darkness
I want the silence
I want the voices to cease
But of course they bring violence
I want to sit still
I don't like the tics
I want to look someone in the eye
And not worry about the hit
I want to be normal
In my own way of course
I want to be freed from my mental disorders

Have you ever physically felt a heartbreak?
Have you ever drowned in your own tears?
Have you ever cried so hard your head feels like it's going to explode?
Have you ever wanted to die so your forget the memories?
Have you ever loved so strongly and cared so deeply, that when it's gone, you feel an immense amount of pain?
Have you ever wanted to be loved and wanted?
Have you ever taken pill after pill hoping you might not come down?
Have you tried to silence your pain?
Have you tried to silence your mind?
Have you ever woken up and just said I'm done?
Have you ever?