I have understood my mother in the present weather.
Her colourless, toothless, though contended a smile
Naif, fair, with dappled on face,
Age and height middled
Beautiful, my ‘maa’ she was.

In winter, she caught the ability to forget,
Forget her past, her present.... future-
Everything, but not everything, not me.
I was the nectar if bee she was,
I was the light if shadow was she.

My grey haired mother forgot her grey,
       Grey haired days.
I have seen her cry, when the hell freezes over,
Weep, wrinkle or beam.
I saw her mewl once, in asylum.
Her cry aired her yen, for a
             Monosyllabic moniker ‘maa’
I.... I couldn’t verbalize my core-
I couldn’t address her ‘maa'.

My gratification and vanity eclipsed
My inner voice.
My lips couldn’t move
I never called her, never needed to....
Perpetrator, her overflowing a chalice of love-
Always knew what I needed.

That day, my heart pricked,
                  My maw itched,
         But.... my lips ******.
There she lies wrinkled now ,
Fairer than she was
Brighter than she ever could be
Most beautiful I ever saw.

Her obnoxious soapy miasma pacified me now,
Her perturbing din of needle sticks lulls me,
The absence of her ceaseless mag haunts me now.

I never understood her presence in her presence;
             But now absence absence.
Hour remembers her no more
Nor she me in the last days....

I have understood her now....
Or
Have I understood her yet?