I am tired.
You have no idea how tired.
My bones are aching.
splintering with the agony.             My craniums cracked.
Split like a boiled egg,
my soft core is spilling out.
Lie me with soldiers shoulder to shoulder
And I'm soft as buttered toast.
But i m trying. Dragging my back pack by my ankles
Pulling your soul with my teeth. And dragging us all down by my finger nails

warm heart,
once brave and strong
                      

                                                               ­                   now foreboding and weak

poor brave heart
the heart that once beat so strong



                                                       ­                            now bleats so meak


sorrowful little heart
to small to carry the load on your masters shoulders


                                                     ­                                   now a slave to insanity

irrefutably damaged heart
to weak to continue
to shallow to pump blood
to cold to warm my skin



  *poor little heart**
                                                           


                                             how long untill you stop beating

at first i shake a little
and i try to hold it together
but then panic strikes. and i pull myself apart at the seams
and when you stich me back together, i cant help but whimper
because the pin you use is blunt
and it hurts more to be sttiched together then it does to be pulled apart
but then i panic, and now im screaming
your name in fits
blasphemous fits of agous whaling i cant breathe
the demons of my mind are sitting on my chest while I sleep
And I toss and i turn but i cant wake up from this night mare because
in reality i was never asleep
ive been sitting here the whole time
wide awake in my dream state terrified to do anything other then breathe
and Christ thats harder then it sounds
you have no idea what its like
when tears roll down my cheeks
like tidal waves i wish i could drown in
anxiety makes me a slave, its lachy, its *****
my fear takes me by the throat and makes sure to stare me down
as he squeezes
my addictions rolll over me  like a sandcastle at high tide im bound to fall
so please
dont you dare tell me to "just breathe"
everything wont be allright so long as you dont realise
that i am suffering more then a fit of asthma ,
i am dieing more then a little inside  
my crystal glass core gets trod on more and more often by the demons that plauge me
panic is so much more lethal then cyanide ad so much easyer to obtain

they saw me with hatred.
because when they spat lies my horns grew
they saw me as cold
because their words bounced of my steel skin
now they see me with love
because my eyes aren't the stones they used to be
now they see me as warmth
because my colors aren't as dull as the wardrobe i hide  behind my skeletons
you bring out the fire in my heart
bouncing on those thousand year old  billows,
somehow you make my heart hot enough to melt gold
and large enough to be filled with it,
your a catalyst to my cataclysm
but if its the end of the world your going to cause
ill sit and watch, with an arduous passion
because even in my dieng throws i will be made of steel and stone
yet with you standing by my side
i feel like im made out of plasterboard