I had a dream that one day I’d walk down the isle to you. A tear would stream down my face as I made my way to you. I would watch your eyes gleam and see your stunning smile. But I ruined it all. Our future our children of which we won’t have not  a home together not even another laugh. I won’t get to see you wrap your arms around them while your holding my hand; I’d take it all in. So thankful I’d be waking up to you and hearing you breathe making love and sharing our lives but I ruined it all if only I wasn’t me. If only I could disappear.

The people who aren't reborn again,
become one of the infinite stars that sprinkle the abyss of night.
Those who are reborn lose all memory of a past life.
Only to remember a complete stranger, and know something only that person knows.
An unremarkable dream you've had,
only for it to be something that's happened before.

A winter only a past life being could remember.
A tale only you can find familiar, but you know you've never heard it before in the life you have right now.

The glimpse of light you see in the winter;
is a star telling you a tale,
to always love the glimpse of light.

Only now do humans understand
because they can touch it
with their hands.
Look above yourself.
Only now has mankind
discovered a distant black hole
200 million light years away
200
million
light years away
traveling at 300.000 kilometers per second
per 60 seconds
per 60 minutes
per 24 hours
365 times a year
per 200 million years
and this black hole
is big
17 billion times bigger
17
billion times bigger than
our sun.
Now, do you really think
you were put here by chance?

just call me, just once more, let me hear your voice and the way your haughty breathing drifts over the speaker. Please let me listen to you, let me listen to you, let me listen. Please tell me all the answers ive been begging for tell me how it all makes sense. Tell me what happened, tell me what you did, why you did it, tell me how you could have done it.

"I'd like to be a fly on the wall," you say.
Would you?
Would you really like to be privy to all
that drama and intrigue, without ever being noticed?
Sounds nice, I suppose.
But I'll let you in on a little secret-
That, my dears, is false advertising.
Truth is, people always notice flies
They just choose to ignore them
And lower their voices when you buzz by on sugar-spun wings of self-confidence-
Maybe it's just all in your head
Maybe you've misinterpreted things-behind kaleidoscope eyes
It always looks like there are more of them than you.

So you gain confidence
You hover on the fringes of their circle
And drone out a low hum of 'what've you been up to today?'
Or 'how're you?'
Or 'long day, huh?'
The response is offhand
A verbal flick of the wrist
Batting the ball back into your conversational court
Because coming at you with a fly swatter
Or a rolled up Cosmo magazine
Takes more effort than they're willing to give.

You buzz about some more
Hoping maybe the silence will entice them to engage
But no,
They can't hear your buzzing
Or they won't.
So instead you stand
Fly on the wall
Content with watching the light catch your wings
Repeatedly wringing your hands near your face
In a way they probably think is malevolent
I promise I'm not plotting-
I'm just juggling the weight of my loneliness
Maybe if I shift it from one palm to another
Somehow I will lighten the load.

Take comfort in this, little fly-
The sun makes your wings iridescent
And even though they'll never get close enough to see that, you can.
It's not a trick of the light
Your fractal eyes do not deceive you-
They are duplicate.

Seeing the world through the eyes of a baby
Innocence
    Happiness
         Love
             For All