it was like i summoned you,
i accidently said your name,
and now the memories tumble back.
i don't like to blame people for what they have done to me,
someone said that's called justifying.
i don't like that you visited me,
i can't wait for the days when your completely erased from my memory.

it was like i summoned you,
i accidently said your name,
and now the memories tumble back.
i don't like to blame people for what they have done to me,
someone said that's called justifying.
i don't like that you visited me,
i can't wait for the days when your completely erased from my memory.

the drugs have made me lose my mind,
so why do i keep craving it every time?
it has destroyed my life,
yet i choose to tell myself lies.
I get out of bed,
sit on the couch,
hours go by,
i don't even know why i bother to contemplate,
Ima do it any way.
i start blaming my past,
yes, i know there's therapy for that.
believe them when they say,
change only comes if the person is willing
to start their healing phase.
not only am i hurting myself,
the great pain i have caused to those i love.
just know i am trying my best,
i will not lose this battle pain.

The knife glints under the dim bulb,
its silver tongue whispering
how easy it would be
to open what aches inside me.

I brace my hand,
press down slowly,
feel the skin split,
hear the soft tear,
watch red bloom
across the board
in trembling pools.

I cut again, and again,
shards falling like thoughts
I can’t keep straight,
my breath coming faster,
the smell rising sharp,
green and raw,
like the earth itself.

I tell myself
this isn’t what it looks like,
though it feels like release.
All this mess,
all this red,
all this trembling,
only
vegetables.

I love you,
most say these words are powerful.
Love is such a strong word,
to just be saying it.
I mean it,
I do not care if you look at me different.
I have BPD,
and sometimes my loyalty disgusts me.
When I feel betrayed,
I still would not try to unlove you.
I may push you off the pedestal,
but you are still good,
I cherish you.
If you need me,
I don't hesitate,
I love you!
I learned the way I love,
is the same love I be missing.
They say my love can be toxic,
I can become possessive.
I have worked ******* managing my love,
I love near and far.
Love is all I am made of,
Love is all I want to give you.

Mis pensamientos no descansan.  
Las plantas ya no bastan.  
Estoy triste.  
Triste está mi corazón.  

No quiero tu amor.  
No quiero tus palabras.  
El silencio camina conmigo.  
Necesito silencio.