this berryblossom white
and johnny cash
are the only things
helping me see clearly
this foggy morning

for i can see the sun peering through
but i do not feel it (like the mist)
the colors are not the same
anymore
nor do i think
they ever will be

so i sit
with understanding
of why a man in black
must sing
of yellow
instead

It’s been so long,
I forgot it’s warmth.

the sadness
hides in corridors
waiting to settle in

sneaking
like a man off to war
returning hopeless

gives no signal
no sign
no beating of the drum

no knock at the door
it creeps in
knowing you can be won

You said your hands shake
But I was throwing up acid at 7 am
Because my nerves can't sustain

You are a bad person
Who consistently proves why
Over and over again

And you tell me I know that's not true
But you don't feel this pain

Sally sold souls down by the seashore
Sally sold secrets, too
Sally always wanted more

Until Sally's soul was sold
To some boy who she adored
Now Sally's only secret
Is that she'll love him evermore

My knee has been hurting for 5 days but I feel like I've been walking with a limp for more and it makes me miss your comfort back when I was your diamond and not your *****

and it reminds me of the time my arm couldn't move for 3 days
so I showered in the dark and cried with my hair in knots as I called your phone hearing your voicemail replay

this is the day before you left me the first time and went four hours away
as i watched you pack your belongings in front of my face
and I cried and you wanted to
but your heart was not phased

tell me, who finds solace
in memories that unravel;
that don't keep your heart laced?

“When people stop writing, it’s one of two things - they are either really ******* happy or broken beyond repair.”*

You have made me both of these - guess which one I am?

He said he wanted to know where my mind was
But I don't know how to say that 15 seconds prior to you texting
I was pulling my hair and screaming at the door;
I feel crazy more than half of the time, and I'd admit myself,
but adults don't admit they're crazy anymore.
So I simply tell you my mind is in shambles
and it's been a bad bad day;
You ask if I want to text you later:

proof you already don't want to stay
proof why I wish all my boys away

$50 and your hand in mine
Singing Jason Aldean when we hit the state line
Back country roads running through little towns
Your voice half a whisper when you'd tell me to slow down

And I can remember it all
Like it was yesterday
But I can't tell you if I want it to fade

We stopped at Shawnee Springs just to sip apple cider
Standing in the rain but that didn't seem to matter
I can remember still the sweet taste on your lips
And my mouth still begs for one more kiss

And I can remember it all
Like it was yesterday
But I can't tell you if I want it to fade

Today I felt that old familiar burn in my chest.
the kind that reminds you his memory still hasn't left
and my hands shook so bad I had to walk away.
restless anxiety surging through my veins.

I waited so long out of fear, to ask questions with answers I wasn't ready to hear.
don't kid yourself, kid cause everyone knows
there are moments you think of him when you're still alone

Like his lips on the couch coming toward your face
then you run to the kitchen to back n forth pace
because for a second you almost remembered his taste.

that's a thought you're not allowed to embrace.

Cause you heard he isn't doing too well,
the boy who stole your wishes with every penny that fell,
vulnerable his life but no longer you're not.

don't think about him.
don't think.
stop.

And then one day you meet someone;
They call when they say they'll call
And they show when they say they'll show

And it'll make you wonder
why you ever spent so much time
staring into the sun,
when someone was looking at you
as if that's what you were.

she said she wants to be the girl with the most cake
she fakes it so real she's beyond fake
she loves him so much that it turns to hate
but she never felt the rush that comes with your taste

like a hit in the veins you can't replace
like an addiction so good you don't want saved
always searching for the high in a different shape
but there's no comparison, you can't escape

your heart aches and aches and aches and aches
perfume that's just his scent, he begs
and breaks and breaks and breaks and breaks
white roses flow from between your legs

drown him till he makes you shake
in this love, the only winner is fate

On cold days,
I envy the landscaper
for his freedom.

I've been driving around for 3 hours straight
4 beers
two bottles of champagne

My lungs are ****** up
from smoking you
really smoking cigarettes
but you're always here too

I have ten minutes till I give up and go home
you're leaving me alone
****....
alone.

Some days you don’t exist at all;

others, you bend me at the spine until I snap.