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Teddy S Jan 2021
The sound of a symphony, an orchestra’s music fills the room
A large room with marble floors and golden walls
Beautiful people fill the room, dancing to their hearts content
Waltzing with their partners, some smile happily
Others frown at their partners, full of disdain
Some cast fleeting glances at the ones they truly love, as they dance with another
Colors dark and bright fill the room
Gowns sway as their wearers dance the night away
A beautiful lady descends the large staircase, looking at the gigantic diamond chandelier
She casts a glance over the railing towards the crowd
Her gown changes color with every step she takes
The crowd stills and the orchestra stops playing, all that can be heard is her foot steps
Click,
The dress turns a deep, vibrant red with rubies and dark roses
Clack,
The dress lightens into a pastel pink with lace and hydrangeas
Click,
The dress turns a deep emerald green, ivy trails behind as a train
Clack,
The dress becomes like the sea, deep blue, with every swish of the fabric sounds more like the ocean as white tulle hangs off the end
The process continues
The crowd stairs in shock, everyone frozen as they watch the beautiful woman
The light catches her slippers,
Glass
Beautiful, beautiful stained glass that glitters and changes as well
No one dares move
She smiles
Quietly at the end of the staircase, she whispers, “What a lovely party.”
People lose their breath
She looks at the orchestra and they start again
Everyone resumes dancing
She is pulled into a waltz
The lady dances the night away before escaping to the garden
A lady in a plain white gown follows her
The garden is large, filled with every flower imaginable
The scent of the flowers hits the woman in white’s nose
The garden is practically pitch black, the night sky dark with very little stars
Yet the woman continues walking
She stops at the fountain, the lady in white does the same
The woman in the gown turns to the lady, “What is your name?”
The lady responds, “Ester.”
Before Ester can ask her name in return, the woman starts to speak
“Ester, why are you wearing such a dress at this party? Would you not prefer a lovely dress?”
Ester’s eyes widen in the darkness, humiliation barely visible in the dark
Yet, the woman continues,
“Perhaps, you would prefer a dress like mine?”
“Yes!” Ester exclaims
The woman turns to Ester,
“You can have my dress and my shoes if I can have yours.”
Her voice is calculated and with little emotion
Ester does not even hesitate
“Shake my hand,” the woman says
The orchestra can no longer be heard
Ester grabs the woman’s delicate hand,
She smiles and as does the woman
Ester moves to pull her hand away but can not
The Ester’s hand is stuck, she gasps in horror
The woman’s smile goes wide and Ester sees row upon row of razor sharp teeth
Wind blows around them as flowers and leaves get caught in the small tornado that is forming
The sleeve of the ballgown moves down the woman’s arm and travel up Ester’s
As does the other
Then the entire dress is on Ester
She would be delighted to have such a dress in any other circumstance but all she can feel is fear
Esters shoes slip off as the wind lifts her
She feels cold glass underneath her feet, and suddenly she is wearing the glass slippers
The woman’s smile is no longer jagged
Her hand no longer sticks to Ester’s
The wind stops blowing
The woman whispers a thanks as she walks away, wearing the white gown and the plain shoes rather happily
Ester begins to wonder why she was worried
The event was strange but she now feels amazing in her dress
She looks into the water of the fountain with a smile
Her face fills with shock as she looks at her sharp teeth
Dread fills her as she tries to pull off the gown
The gown instead sticks to her skin just as the woman’s hand did
Ester moves to try to take off the shoes
It sticks to her toes as she tries to pull her foot out
Her heel gets stuck as she tries to pry the dreaded slipper
The wind blows past her ear
“Until midnight.”
The clock chimes as Ester feels a bony hand grip her ankle.
I've been acquainted with the following
psychoactives compounds:

Depressants & Dissociatives;
Ethanol / EtOH / alcohol, drink, *****
γ-Hydroxybutyric acid / GHB / G, fantasy
β-Phenyl-γ-aminobutyric acid / PhGABA / Phenibut
Dextromethorphan / DXM / Benylin, Robitussin
Morphine / Papaver somniferum / *****
3-Methylmorphine / Codeine
Dihydrocodeine / DHC
Buprenorphine / Subutex, Suboxone
N-Allylnoroxymorphone / Naloxone / Suboxone, Narcan
Tramadol / Ultram
Thiopental / Sodium Pentothal
Diazepam / ******
2'-Chlorodiazepam / Ro5-3448 / Diclazepam
4'-Chlorodiazepam / Ro5-4864
Chlordiazepoxide / Librium
Gidazepam, hidazepam
Desalkylgidazepam / Bromonordiazepam
Flubromazepam
Alprazolam / Xanax
Bromazolam / XLI-268
Clonazolam, Clonitrazolam / Clam
Etizolam / Etilaam, Etizest
Flualprazolam
Flubromazolam
Zopiclone / Zimovane
Pagoclone
Promethazine / Phenergan
Diphenhydramine / DPH / Benadryl, Nytol
Chlorphenamine, chlorpheniramine / CPM / Piriton
Cetirizine / Zyrtec
Amitriptyline / Elavil
Tianeptine / Coaxil, Stablon
Mirtazapine / Remeron
Quetiapine / Seroquel
Nitrous Oxide / N2O / laughing gas
Amyl Nitrite / Poppers
Ketamine [racemic] / K, Kitty
Esketamine [S-isomer] / Special K
Deschloroketamine / 2'-Oxo-PCM / DCK
N-ethyldeschloroketamine / 2'-Oxo-PCE / O-PCE / Eticyclidone
Deoxymethoxetamine / 3-Me-2′-Oxo-PCE / DMXE
Methoxetamine / 3-MeO-2'-Oxo-PCE / MXE / Mexxy
Hydroxetamine / 3-**-2'-Oxo-PCE / HXE / Hexxy
Methoxpropamine / 2-Oxo-3'-MeO-PCPr / MXPr
Methoxisopropamine / 2-Oxo-3'-MeO-PCiPr / MXiPr
3-Hydroxyphencyclidine / 3-**-***
3-Methoxyphencyclidine / 3-MeO-***
3-Methoxyeticyclidine / 3-MeO-PCE
3-Methyleticyclidine / 3-Me-PCE

Stimulants & Enhancers;
1,3,7-Trimethylxanthine / Caffeine / Coffea, Camellia sinensis / Coffee, Tea
3,7-dimethylxanthine / Theobromine / [constituent of] Chocolate
N-Ethyl-L-glutamine / L-Theanine / [constituent of] Green Tea
Nicotine / Nicotiana / Tobacco, cigarettes, smokes
Ephedrine / Ephedra
Pseudoephedrine / Ephedra, Sudafed
Adrenaline, Epinephrine
Choline bitartrate
L-alpha glycerylphosphorylcholine / Alpha-GPC, Choline alfoscerate
Cytidine 5'-diphosphocholine / CDP-choline, Citicoline
N-Acetylcysteine / NAC
2-Dimethylaminoethyl (4-chlorophenoxy)acetate / Meclofenoxate
N-Phenylacetyl-L-prolylglycine ethyl ester / Omberacetam / Noopept
Coluracetam / BCI-540
4-Phenylpiracetam
Propranolol
(±)-2-Benzhydrylsulfinyleth­anehydroxamic acid / Adrafinil
(±)-2-[(Diphenylmethyl)sulfinyl]acetamide / Modafinil
(–)-2-[(R)-(diphenylmethyl)sulfinyl]acetamide / Armodafinil
α-Methylphenethylamine / Amphetamine, αMP / Speed
N-Methylamphetamine / Methamphetamine / ****
Lisdexamfetamine / Vyvanse, Tyvense, Elvanse
2-Fluoromethamphetamine / 2-FMA
4-Fluoroamphetamine / 4-FA, 4-FMP /  PAL-303 / Flux
4-Methoxyamphetamine / PMA, 4-MA / Death
5-Methoxy-2-aminoindane / MEAI, 5-MeO-AI / Chaperone, Pace
Methythiolpropamine / MPA / Blow
3-Fluorophenmetrazine / 3-FPM / PAL-593
Methylphenidate / MPH / Ritalin, Concerta
4-Fluoromethylphenidate / 4F-MPH
4-Fluoroethylphenidate / 4F-EPH
3-Methylmethcathinone / 3-MMC / Metaphedrone
3-Methylethcathinone / 3-MEC
4-Methylmethcathinone / 4-MMC / Mephedrone
4-Methylethcathinone / 4-MEC
3-Chloro-N-tert-butyl-cathinone / Bupropion / Wellbutrin, Zyban
4-Chloromethcathinone / 4-CMC / Clephedrone
4-Fluoromethcathinone / 4-FMC / Flephedrone
4-Fluoro-α-methylaminovalerophenone / 4-Fluoropentedrone / 4-FPD
α-Ethylaminocaprophenone / N-Ethylhexedrone / NEH / Hexen
alpha-Pyrrolidinohexiophenone / α-PHP / PV-7
alpha-Pyrrolidinoisohexaphenone / α-PiHP, α-PHiP
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinohexiophenone / MDPHP
3,4-Methyl​enedioxy​pentedrone / βk-MBDP / Pentylone
3,4-Methylenedioxymethcathinone / βk-MDMA / MDMC / Methylone
3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine / MDMA / ecstasy
5-(2-methylaminopropyl)benzofuran / 5-MAPB
6-(2-Aminopropyl)benzofuran / 6-APB / Benzofury
6-(2-Aminopropyl)-2,3-dihydrobenzofuran / 6-APDB / 4-desoxy-MDA
Mesembrine / Sceletium tortuosum, Kanna
Harmine / Peganum harmala / Syrian Rue
3,4,8-Trimethoxyphenanthrene-2,5-diol / Dendrobium nobile
NSI-189
4-chloro-N-(2-morpholin-4-ylethyl)benzamide / Moclobemide
Escitalopram / Cipralex, Lexapro
Fluoxetine / Prozac
Sertraline / Zoloft
Venlafaxine / Effexor
5-Hydroxytryptophan / 5-HTP / Oxitryptan

Hallucinogens & Psychedelics;
Cannabidiol / CBD / Cannabis
Cannabigerol / CBG / Cannabis
Δ9-Tetrahydrocannabinol / THC / Cannabis, Marijuana
Hexahydrocannabinol / HHC
AM-2201 / Synth-'noids, Spice
NM-2201 / CBL-2201
5C-AB-PINICA
Salvinorin A  / Salvia Divinorum / Diviner's Sage
d-Lysergic acid amide / d-Lysergamide / LSA / Ergine
Lysergic acid diethylamide / Lysergide / LSD, LAD / Acid, Lucy
Lysergic acid 2,4-dimethylazetidide / LSZ / Diazedine, Lambda, λ
1-Acetyl-lysergic acid diethylamide / 1A-LSD / ALD-52
1-Propionyl-lysergic acid diethylamide / 1P-LSD
1-Cyclopropionyl-N-Methyl-N-isopropyllysergamide / 1cP-MiPLA
6-Allyl-6-nor-lysergic acid diethylamide / AL-LAD / Aladdin
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine / DOM / Dominic
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromoamphetamine / DOB / Aphrodite
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-chloroamphetamine / DOC / Doctor
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylthioamphetamine / DOT / Aleph
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methyl-α-ethylphenethylamine / 4C-D / Ariadne
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylphenethylamine / 2C-D, 2C-M / Matrix
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-ethylphenethylamine / 2C-E / Eternity
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromophenethylamine / 2C-B / Nexus
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-chlorophenethylamine / 2C-C / Callisto
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-iodophenethylamine / 2C-I / Infinity
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-methylthiophenethylamine / 2C-T / Tesseract
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-ethylthiophenethylamine / 2C-T-2 / Rosy
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-fluoroethylthiophenethylamine / 2C-T-21 / Aurora
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromo-β-keto-phenethylamine / βk-2C-B
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromo-β-hydroxy-phenethylamine / βOH-2C-B / BOHB
2,3,6,7-Benzo-dihydro-difuran-8-bromo-ethylamine / 2C-B-FLY
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)-4-bromophenethylamine / 25B
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)-4-chlorophenethylamine / 25C
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)-4-iodophenethylamine / 25I
2,5-Dimethoxy-N-(2-hydroxybenzyl)-4-ethylphenethylamine / 25E-NBOH
3,4-Methylenedioxyamphetamine / MDA / Sass, Sally
3,4,5-Trimethoxyphenethylamine / Mescaline / M
3,5-Dimethoxy-4-ethoxyphenethylamine / Escaline
3,5-Dimethoxy-4-methallyloxyphenethylamine / Methallylescaline / MAL
α-Methyltryptamine / αMT / Indopan
N,N-dimethyltryptamine / DMT / The Spirit
N,N-dipropyltryptamine / DPT / The Light
N,N-Diisopropyltryptamine / DiPT / The Sound
N-Methyl-N-ethyltryptamine / MET / The Colour
N-Methyl-N-propyltryptamine / MPT
N-Ethyl-N-propyltryptamine / EPT
N-Methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / MiPT / The Touch
4-Hydroxy-dimethyltryptamine / 4-**-DMT / Psilocybe / Psilocin
4-Phosphoryloxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine / 4-PO-DMT / Psilocybin
4-Acetoxy-dimethyltryptamine / 4-AcO-DMT / Psilacetin
4-Hydroxy-N-methyl-N-ethyltryptamine / 4-**-MET / Metocin
4-Acetoxy-N-methyl-N-ethyltryptamine / 4-AcO-MET / Metacetin
4-Acetyloxy-N,N-dipropyltryptamine / 4-AcO-DPT / Pracetin
4-Acetoxy-N-methyl-N-cyclopropyltryptmine / 4-AcO-McPT
4-Acetoxy-N-methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / 4-AcO-MiPT / Mipracetin
4-Hydroxy-N-methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / 4-**-MiPT / Miprocin
5-Methoxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine / 5-MeO-DMT / The God, The Power
5-Methoxy-N-methethyltryptamine / 5-MeO-MET / The Vision
5-Methoxy-N,N-diallyltryptamine / 5-MeO-DALT / Foxtrot
5-Methoxy-N-diisopropyltryptamine / 5-MeO-DiPT / Foxy
5-Methoxy-N-methyl-N-isopropyltryptamine / 5-MeO-MiPT / Moxy
Each of our interior universes differ, their exploration is not a competition.
This list is merely a personal reference for my own psychoactive history.
I have come to disavow psychonautics in favor of phenomenology or philosophy of mind.
Nat Lipstadt Nov 2013
Road Trip: Thinking it's about time (find yourself within II)

This particular poem was born as a one line response to a message.  But in many other forms, half written, it exists still, un, unfinished, waiting for the next burst energy, the next holiday time, to reach a new finish line.

This is a different but similar to a poem posted on June 2nd, "Poetry Round (find your self within)"

Any error of omission is unintentional, but know that this took many hours, until fatigue won. If you never told or revealed to me your location, know that you will be called out, to and unto me, in another poem, called "your banner is my flag."


Fact about me:  You design me.
-------------------------------------------------------

th­inking it's about time for a road trip.

create an excuse
(reasons, I got a plenty)
to stop by,
to show you another side of me,
for a drink, a meal,
and some kind
of exchange, of
form and fluids,
manner to be determined.

to come to Minneapolis,
watch you create a heated sensuality,
verbally, from melted snowdrifts,
a hot time to be had
by all the poets
of the mini-apple,
I want to meet
and celebrate ann victory.

travel to Thiruvananthapuram,
tour the treasures
of gold and diamonds,
from whence come
the bejeweled poems,
that have earned visits from
thousands upon thousands,
pilgrims, devotees, followers,
to partake at that, his,
special temple.

Gomer, Gomer,  & MJJ,
I am in your Florida,
no, sorry, not in Ocala,
near to your homer,
and I feel you springer
ten times in the
November sun rays,
that have me locked
in a full Nelson,
your productivity,
endless,
a sea of orange sunburnt words,

Tennessee,
The Carolinas,
Georgia,
The South,

I rise with it,
now, again,
that I will need a slow
sunny all lazy summer long to
learn y'alls ways,
see the wolves,
in your forests,
helm the riverboats,
navigate the quaint tides
of Charleston,
the special places
where they heal, le ville,
where the ashes of
burnt children,
retuned to be whole.

learn y'alls ways,
walk in your boots,
of seeing poems
using your special
southern saber words.

missed the original
Thrilla-in-Manila,
but rest easy, assured,
that hotbed of creativity,
where I check the
PH of the mc waters
to comprehend its
wisdom and now, it's sadness,
will be an illustrious destination
on my itinerant itinerary,
stopping by Makati City,
after all,
it is writ in the good book,
this island,
the PhilippineS,
is the birthplace
of the letter S,
Samples: samson, sally,
and So many others?

in Nevada City,
which is of course in
krazy California,
wager philosophy, romance,
be available for
succinctly seeing
works in progress,
from which I
will imbibe,
so **** deeply,
may have to
stay awhile for...

while I am there,
will need to do
a search and
Hug Mission,
to find a special man,
his unkempt prose,
his mortal rhymes
disguise not his holy worth,
even to the grassy
cal-stratosphere,
to the mesosphere,
will I high fly,
to find his sweetest spot,
then and thereafter
going looking
further on to
Humboldt County.

in Leeds, in West Yorkshire,
(Hamphshirians, Northamptontonians,
patience please)
built foundries and factories
over the magical forest of Loidis,
near to the river Aire,
yet still hides a
magical sorceress of words,
casting spells over
men and beast.
no one has seen full
her half-turned away face,
but when she summons,
do I have a choix
other than obey?
even if I get lost,
my sorceress,
you know,
I am on way too.

to get there,
will fly I must,
to Heathrow hell,
will do it,
just for you,
faithful friend,
a man da gotta do, what
a man gotta do...for you,
but first a stop off at the
London School of Economics,
Hampstead as well,
for a tutorial about sonnets,
or sams in wells,
even if I come
in my bare feet.

even in New York Upstate,
a man da gotta do,
what he mulls over in his heart,
be not surprised at a knock upon
your door, to make comparative notes,
about each other's tattoos.

in the South African veld,
hid in the highland grasses,
crouches the poetesses and tigresses,
waiting to ambush you
with words that must be seen
to be heard, to be well understood.
perhaps I'll come at ester time,
under blue indigo skies over,
a golden landscape,
seizing all the gems
that can be seen
only at 3:00am

leeward,
north to Canada,
must I, transgress,
country of my momma's birth,
fly from Montreal to Toronto, Calgary
then over to Vancouver.
Canada,
a dangerous place for me,
cause there are beautiful
souls up there,
and maybe even a
warrant to
repossess mine,
they want their
poets back.

double down by ferry,
me to Seattle,
to see a man about river,
in the Pacific Northwest,
where I have happily
drowned so many times,
that The Lord is complaining,
am hogging all the baptismal waters,
but when reminded that
nothing lasts forever,
here tomorrow,
gone today, walk on,
I add my tears
to that river,
before hitting the road.

on that river,
gonna drive me a kayak,
down Daytonway,
on the Yamill River,
see a gyreene marine,
watching me do a beach landing,
in Willamette Wine Park.
he will teach me to salute,
I will teach him how to
shake hands,
and learn from him,
it's ok,
to stand down.

man o' man
there are a lots of poets,
in these here parts,
this grand
Pacific North West,
looking for one in particular,
who will be quite easy to spot,
as he is my very own
soul brother.

will be easy to find,
though we have never met,
he will be on his kayak,
I on mine,
tho when he paddles,
somehow he manages
to hold
never letting go
of, his lovely bride,
his best half's hands.

this will a problem,
for I must teach him how to
shake two handed souls,
while hugging and paddling,
even bailing,
with an old dented pail
simultaneous.
but you can teach old dogs
new tricks, even the ones,
that can't spell
rhymers.

have mercie on me Ohio,
like a mother has to her daughter,
done a three year sentence in Cleveland,
but no jail can hold an NYC boy,
but if requested, yes I will return
to set fire to the *
Cuyahoga,
again! he he he...
but do not s mock me!
(now you know why the FBI loves
my poetry, my biggest institutional fan).

souls in torment,
where you be,
where you hide,
matters not where
you physical reside,
for we have found
each other
in each other words.

You, who live in
your very own
personal hell,
I think we met there,
because
yours was
mine too,
tho not found
on any map.

maybe I will meet the
Empress Josephine Maria,
rowing on the canals of
the Netherlands,
no longer will she be
alone.

but then again, some
very special things,
like
the purest of love
are on no map,
they are everywhere.

while in India,
will seek the many musings of many lips
of aged rhyme men
and complicated charmers
so I may kiss them
with spiced humors
to pour and pour,
more and more,
upon this western soul,
mysteries of the east,
to Kashmir, Bangalore,
wherever I must,
even take a praDip in the Ganges,
I will go, find you,
un-hide you,
among the
teeming millions,
millions of
jokes and rhymes,
that make the
world spin brighter.

in Germany,
all the university students
speak English,
in Wiesbaden, they know
poetic beauty is not in the format,
some in Bamberg,
with a peculiar
Missouri accent,
which is nicht gut Englisch,
so study hard the real way,
speak the language
the new yorka way,
which will require
study abroad,
which is quite funny,
now that I think about it.

but in Mo.,
the native drums roll,
long and slow,
making words
I know
better, different,
in a way never saw before,
leaves me asking for,
mo', mo', please?

to get there, to Allemagne,
land of my forefathers,
a ship I will take,
from Southampton
across the Kiel Canal,
before I depart,
will have my hair cut,
my words reworked,
by her Ladyship,
whose keen eyes and
maternal instincts,
see the joy of life in every
Livvi little thing.

Watt am I going to do if
I need to find a Tecumseh,
taker of my naked poems,
and enlarger of them,
so truth by her,
all revealed,
we are all naked
at least,
twice a day?

In Nepal I will purr at the words
gleaned from the markets and
train stations where
voyages from Lalitpur to Katmandu,
start and end,
where there is a miracle almost
sixteen years young,
where they call their schools
future stars and little angels,
so why should poetic miracles not be
as common as its subtropical clime?

though I despise the
Dallas Cowboys,
not my  America's team,
nonetheless there is a young woman,
a true rose of Texas,
who waits and writes
so lovingly of her airman,
in Afghanistan, I have placed
their names first,
in my nighttime prayers,
hoping to be there,
schedule my visit,
to witness his safe return
and their
joyous reunification.

there are no Mayans in Maine,
but poets of similar name,
kould be, mae be,
Julia's in Jersey, new,
in Auckland,
there are poets
who don't know it,
and Down Under, too,
where getting high is easy,
getting high at
and on words
well marshaled ,
but **** sure I will be
peering and prring,
all the way.

Oregon,
don't be gone,
those wide eyes shut,
when I come by,
who knows when I
will pass this way again...
on my way to Phoenix,
where sunrayes bend to the
desires of dessert breezes.

Kentucky to Korea,
one long road to travel,
but middle son,
if you can do it,
so can I, and,
I will follow.

in a beautiful city,
unsurprisingly called
Belleville,
the leader of the band,
still leads us in belle 'noise'
and when he finishes
fall leafing us in song, he still,
rises up in the mid of dark,
prayerful haikus to write.

off to Rogers, Arkansas
to meet an Italian from Mexico
who specializes in skinny poems,
something one day I will be too.

maybe I will go to
places it snows,
there are so many,
but your photo,
and tattoo trail,
clues, will follow,
no matter how hard
you make it a mystery.

you, who live in just
the world,
don't even think,
that crazy dotted lines,
unstraight,
or huge plains,
are sufficient,
to hide your
moody dust trail
from me!

somewhere in the USA,
roses grow in ground
that needs the
watering of tears,
though this place
is hard to find,
ha, turn around,
that is me,
tapping you,
on the shoulder!

will find you,
as I am searching for
a lovely pair
of stockinged ankles,
each with a heart tattoo,
but I sure could use
a clue,
before this hobbit searches
all the shire,
derby hatted,
to find your
heart real, and the real you...

my mode of time travel?
why I am just
a dude on a rocket ship.

Wisconsin,
look for my ruby message
in the snow,
in the dust,
in the sand, the skies, the sea,
but will you answer me?

Pittsburgh,
patient, you've been,
you thought I forgot
all about you,
chimera  at the intersection
of three rivers,
all you need wonder,
upon which one
will my ship arrive
and why you still disbelieve
you are not a poetess!

ME oh my,
you too, a hidey hole got,
but, we are strange, we humans,
we would gladly bleed to please,
If we could but find
a combination of
new words that
would your heart gladden,
your eyes tear,
your lips wear,
a smile of pleasure
at our offerings poetic!
but still I know not,
the where!

Lagos,
where
I shall climb the tallest skyscraper,
calling out in Yoruba,
where is my Temitope?
where is mine,
worthy of thanksgiving
so I may carry my Popoola,
my pole of her of
written wealth?


Mombasa, Singapore,
Maryland, Rhode Island, Kentucky,
Huddersfield, Connecticut Joe, Ireland,
South Dakota,

where the merry elders
well ken somethings
about a moon and tattered clouds,
something about children and dogs,
and something about letting
tomorrow's wait.

Milwaukee, Atlanta,
chuck, in *PA.,
friend to all,
to all those scattered across these
United States of America.

can we dare not mention
"The Shaq" of Malaysia,
South Sudan, Pakistan,

of course not!

Suburbia,
beautiful, black San Diego, Detroit;

The BBB's -

British Columbia, Brazil, Breendonk, and
B'kara!
the goodness of *
Boston,
flipping out in Flipadelphia,

did you think I would forget ya?

those of you hiding among 64 stars,
the groves of L.A',
on the lanes,
the special land of I-sia-Bella,
fellow citizens of Neverland,
those of you 'at home,'
in the land of nightmares,
concrete boxes,
those who post without a doubt,
and in the box,
this who think your birth year
is an identifying mark, not,
you never fooled me,
will visit each and everyone.


even and especially,
the grays of crosstown
NYC,
the red writers of my hood,
the tylers too.

I am exhausted,
forgive me well,
if thy locale,
I did not explicate,
for the hour is very late.

yet thru subtle fissures
in the clouds,
look for a tired old man
on the wings of a
chariot drawn by angels,
bringing you a dictionary
full of new words,
a present for you,
but truly,
a present to himself
for from it,
your future poems
will come.

*but the sun has come up,
so now I sleep.
1.  What makes this poem special, if anything, is the trust and confidences we share with each other, that allowed me to perhaps catch just little bit something special of each of you, where I could.

2. Can anyone explain to me why the site labels this poem explicit?
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
i couldn't never write a book, sorry, a novel, i'd hate to become a puppeteer, someone who attempts to play chess, a fiddling and bothersome shadow-baron (schattenbaron)... imaginary "friends" is not my thing, plus... i don't have an exact elastic approach to heidegger's compliments concerning poets: i only like heidegger because he likes poets, **** me, he elevates poets to the stature of philosophers when language "things" are made necessary... i.e. (and verbatim) - language - only if speech has acquired the highest univocity of the word does it become strong for the hidden play of its essential multivocity (as withdrawn from all "logic"), of which poets and thinkers alone are capable... welcome! welcome! to plato's republic! Brennus & Alaric welcome you, quiet fondly depicted by Joseph-Noël Sylvestre... and when the Huns pushed the leaders Fritigern and Alavivus into the eastern empire to settle... and emperor Valens... that's history for you: a cascade of: and and and and and and... sometimes a p.s., but mostly the and and and of causality... facts come barging in, you forage... but thanks to heidegger: the poets have earned their graces... and can return to the republic... as wordsmiths... i mean, was i ever to think of myself as a french dada dandy? frivolous and superfulous raconteur / racketeer? poet or philosopher, that's beside the point, the point being: i'm not a novelist... i don't like dealing with language that chokes that i rely on mostly and that mostly being: i like the idea of a raw vocabulary... i'm more of a butcher than an artist... i like the rawness of an inverted crossword puzzle... in my "trade"... there are no clues, whether synonymous or antonymous, in this spaghetti of: ex nihil factum sermo (out of nothing came the word)... poetry, of all places, allows this form of unadulterated nibbling at raw vocabulary... bypassing the standard g.c.s.e.: overt-scrutiny of poetics... i never like that... a 5/ 7/ 5 syllable haiku poem should never be preserved for its essay-worthiness to extend into 2000 words in a school exam... poetry strapped to pedagogy is... less heavily censored, more... over-scrutinized... you're not supposed to think in terms of poetry: you're supposed to, feel... and since when has feeling become so overrated, so despsised? oh... when people "learned" to feel, prior to learning to think... you really have to learn to think, prior to learning how to feel... if you ask someone from the orient, they'd counter the western perception of placing thinking / "reason" on the top of the pyramid with horus' eye as emblem... to learn to feel: is to learn to how to not think, while to think? it's to learn how to not feel... pretty simple, no? not really... neither approaches should be underrated, they should be understood better... who the hell needs, or wants, to be an apathetic brain-in-a-pickle-jar zombie: constantly engaging with a dialectic? then again... who wants to be a heart in an electric chair constantly bamboozled into pointless reactions? so i'm more of a butcher than a "poet", i simply appreciate the raw realism of cutting pieces of the tongue that extends into the brain's fathomability - and that overrated visual ******* of dreaming most people associate themselves with... but that's beside the point... i really appreciate days akin to this one, humid as in the concrete basin of Beijing while europe is frying in the African plume... no thanks, no, me go to Greenland or the Faroes Islands... do i look like a ******* ******* / camel jockey? why do i have limited respect for islam? i once watched a video of a saudi with an european bride... sitting on oil was both a blessing... and a curse... muhammad would whip some of these saudi brats silly... but of all days... when i get to work my magic in the kitchen, and make the most superior food in the whole wide world? blue indian cuisine: i call them blue indians and not red soxs because: come on... the raj... and that polytheism that doesn't want to disappear... h'americans can boast all they want: the steak, the hamburger, the hot dog, the pizza... n'ah... n'ah mate... it's either curry or you're chewing chicken bones, ******* out the marrow... indian cuisine is superior... i love the days when i cook up two curries... it feels like being back in edinburgh, walking into the joseph black building, the perfumes of sulphur and wood, the 12 hour experiments it would take us to conjure up an ester... esters? bases for the perfume industry... that' the grand thing about cooking a curry... you start to feel like a chemist once more... the two curries? a tikka masala: sure, an easy adventure... marinating the chicken what not... the real fun came with the malvani... blitzing the masala up: a bay leaf, half a nutmeg, 4 / 5 cloves, 7 dried chillies, 10 peppercorns, a cinnamon stick, cumin seeds, coriander seeds, chilly powder, turmeric powder... and that's just the malvani masala... the cocunut masala... ****... only two green chillies... how to get the right colour? ah... blitz up some coriander stalks... garlic and ginger... milk to get the whizz-kid on the job... it's superior cuisine, indian cuisine... it reminds me of a being in a chemistry lab at edinburgh... doing organic experiments... mind you: it's more fun, the environment is less sterile... even my mother said: you're stinking up the place, you're worse than the sikhs two doors down... so... why would i visit an indian restaurant, or indulge myself in an indian take-away, if i can mimic? i see no point... there is no other cuisine on the planet as good as what could come from either Goa or New Delhi... the colours, the perfume of the spices... by now a hamburger, pizza or hot-dog are staples or both humble beginnings and even more humbled ends... i've found my 1st to none passion... and with a afghani naan bread... and with rice infused with turmeric... tiresome ponce schemes of duck a l'orange... spaghetti this that and the other... one bias... though... scandinavian treatment of raw herrings... in cream sauce... i'm a sucker for those herrings like i'm a sucker for pop music... the added zing of the herrings' rawness out-competes the bland sushi manifesto... eating one of these herrings in a cream sauce... has the complimentary sensation, very much akin to performing oral *** on a woman... oysters are beyond the marker of metaphor / literal association... well: hello today!

I.

i'm starting to suspect, that one of the...
"supposed" stars...
   is actually a planet - due to its colour -
      it's unlike all the other -
todkompf, metallic white
glitter...
      it's hued in a more orange
spectacle - more fire...
less distance...
                and on the canvas
of the night?
   sits lower than all the other stars,
which are more up -
   rather than on a horizon
to speak off...
   question is... is that *mars
,
or is that venus?

**** it: 'ere i go...
'n' buy me a *******
telescope to investigate further...

II.

did the ancient romans really
distinguish the arithmetic
quantity of I - or IX -
   or XII or...
                with a dot?
       not unless it was inscribed
in stone -
   where even upsilon had
to vacate the more easily chiseled
in:              YOVR POINT?
just wondering
   how only two diacritical marks
were applied to the encryption -
and both... not for orthographic
reasons, but for aesthetics -
    what's the actual difference
when the guillotine digestion
machine (like me) comes in and
says...
    
     ȷokιng around...
        what with the iPod...
   why shouldn't ι,
                    come ιn -
   and give a ȷester's ιnquιsιtιon?
out of... mere... curιosιty?
ιt's not lιke those two-heads
even make a dιfference...
come on! ιt's ιneffectιve,
there are no orthographιc reasons
for ιt!
        why, even, bother?
    and no fancy name eιther,
ιn the dιacrιtιcal famιly...
  dot... when compared to?
cιrcumflex, caron, macron,
      cedιlla,  ͅ (ιota subscrιpt)
...
you name ιt!
can someone, please,
ȷust gιve me, an approprιate reason?

III.

it's not like i can confuse,
i with I - since i have 1, and 2 instead
of II, and 3 instead of III,
and 4, instead of IV,
       and 6 instead of VI...
ah... L(l) -
              and the exodus of handwriting
in the digital age...
any schmuck can write
now... but... i'd love to see
them write with a pen, on paper...

personally - i couldn't write an intact
word with a pen...
   calligraphy: a bit like monkish
Gregorian chants... coming near
to extinction...
          i could sometimes write
out a intra-connectivity of syllables -
but... entire words?
    no chance... the digit system
came in... and i had to learn how
to position my arms before
the keyboard, to write, and not look
down...
   unlike my old G.P.,
who, bless him... nearing his retirement,
pecked, like a crow,
on the keyboard...
   looking down on it...

the ENTER key? right arm pinky finger...
SPACE BAR key? primarily
left hand thumb...
   unlike a piano, you don't actually
use all the fingers on both arms...
e.g.? ring ringer on the left hand?
rarely used... unless doing some
mental hand gymnastics...
  
stream of "consciousness" - no words,
just observations -

(0,0,) LH ******* A
    RH index finger N -
     that's - ah! ring finger of
the right arm is used, quiet a lot,
  notably?  SHIFT + (?/) key -
      *******...
   but for the apostrophe?
    the (@ ') key...
  which, on my machine translates
as the (" ') key...

IV.

     - interlude -
--- -- - - - -  - - - logic  -- - - -  -- - bomb -- - - --  -
- - -- computers -- -- - - & - -- microprocessors -
- - - --- -- - --- -- -(parasense ----- - - remix) -- -- -

V.

it is chiromancy in reverse,
only that i'm reading my hands...
facing down,
rather than staring on the reverse
side of the... where the girdle of venus
is situated,
   or the index finger skin folds
of the chokhmah, chesed,
    netzach
- respectively -
akin to reading mandarin:
   from the the head - to the base
               of a knuckle.
i read my hands - looking at a screen,
how else can you write anything,
distracted by looking down
onto the keyboard -
  no aware of the spacing?
        question: how fast is your typing?
don't know:
what sort of ******* am i to note
down, and how many amendment
will i have to make to the text,
as we plow along to your diatribe
monologue?
                  
VI.

why would anyone sit up all night,
drinking?
     ****** question, esp. given
yesterday's 5 / 6 am carnival of rain...
out of nowhere,
there i was, ready to call it a night
well spent (not working in a Stratford
casino) - dreading the heat of
the sunrise...
  boom!
   thunder, lightning...
    the air turned white from
the ferocity of the rain...
   literally...
                the ground was wriggling
with a meteor shower -
excited gnat fly like puddles
appearing and disappearing -
soon becoming lakes
  within the confines of a supposed
**** of worm parasites...
      probably your typical day
      on the Faroe Islands...
you know... on such occasions...
you really can't help, but stick
your head out of the window,
far enough to drench your head
and hair in regenwasser...
            i should have walked
into the garden and
cleansed my whole body...
   but...
guess all ι needed, was the head...
       god...
  there's nothing more **** than
listening to horror movie soundtracks
while it pours a mini-monsoon
outside your window,
  and there's thunder, and there's
lightning...
   and you're just about to fall asleep...
like a baby might...

VII.

oh god... the one time i don't take
a beer for a walk, coming back
from the supermarket...
and i pick up... this genius:
genius... tortilla wrap...
    falafel + hummus + a hint
of mango chutney (with a tease
of arugula leaves)?
            **** me... who needs
beer... if not a bottle of mineral
water... to accompany
taking a walk?
Hal Loyd Denton Jan 2014
What I seek here is as a writer astutely commented “it was the pure breath of God playing on
Human heart strings” where better to start than an instrument that is played in such fashion
Solely by the wind its name is from ****** the Greek god of the wind my changeup calls for the
Wind of the one true God my line in lost friend not a person but a great black oak that grew on
A California ranch for over a hundred years in a storm it was destroyed the lines read this way
Two divergent seeds the ground did divide one of wooden grain the other flesh and blood
Their branches throughout the community do abide as charming as church bells ringing touching all the
Flesh and blood pertains to the ranch family that was so honored by this majestic guest all those years
That’s what I am speaking of bells are associated with the Aeolian harp because their sound is carried on
The wind crisp and clean without contamination this is written that we might prepare ourselves and
Have the pure spirit blow across our souls and from it have a better year ultimately a better life first in
These examples we will move closer to the Aeolian harp you will see this isn’t just living but its
Excelling in the richest spheres our lives can and must strive for this magnificence we are not
Just here just to expend time and enjoy ourselves we are to be in pursuit of a great and eternal
Reward there are many stratus of life others are in earthy terms more advanced that is only on
Social levels in the spirit we truly are equal each according to their gifts will answer on a same
Plane fair and honest judgment so that alone should birth passion in each one I want to be the
Best I can be not to out show another but to present our selves honorably and show we put in
The same effort as others first know all are not chosen to have such dramatic tunes of the harp
To drift across life’s varied landscape ours still will be unique and the highest tunes possible and
Will resound with glory we ourselves to a degree will be pleasantly surprised truly so it will be
Determined on the closeness we have with His Holy spirit when I first heard the harp was in
Hannibal Missouri I was in this rich place of American story telling the boy hood home of
Samuel Clemens better known as Mark Twain I was on the river frontage road the great
Mississippi was to my right but I wasn’t thinking of Tom Sawyer my thoughts weighed heavy on
My mind I was far away up by Chicago at a church where brother and Sister Willis was pastor
Then back in the present here in Hannibal this was their home town a beautiful blonde eight
Year old was their pride and joy life was full she had a older brother who was ten it was a
Musical joyous life and then dark ominous clouds rolled in one so filled with life small and
Gentle it was one of the cruelest and terrifying cancers sorry even her death was terrifying in
The midst of tears and anguish they prompted the Aeolian harp to play they brought her home
To this historical place that became so much more rich and sacred when they lay her in the
Cemetery it came as a rush it over powered my emotions in my mind I saw her waiting for that
Great call the dead in Christ will rise first and meet him in the clouds of glory then those still are
Living will be caught away with him this young heartbroken father and mother with
Out hesitation or actuation by faith and trust they continued and shortly thereafter they started
And completed a larger church the richness of the harp reached across the lost community
Families in peril confused and lost had their ears and hearts opened by the lives of these
Faithful Parents it’s not just about making heaven but look around you at the great and terrible
Day of Judgment the great white throne and He who sets there once the savoir now the judge
Of the world you have others standing there with you as you look at them you can’t help to
Look Beyond His great light and see out in the darkness the deadly silent crying trembling lost
That no one reached or worse they wouldn’t listen the next story of the harp is about Frank
Bartleman the great man God used to bring modern Pentecost to America through the gate of
Azusa St Los Angels he arrived in Los Angeles with his wife and two young daughters December
22 January his oldest daughter three year old Easter was seized with convulsions and passed
Away he echoed the word from Ester little Queen Ester seemed to have been born for a time such
As this Esther 4:14 “Beside that little coffin with heart bleeding I pledged my life anew for God’s
Work In the presence of death how real eternal issues become of all the music LA has produced
None comes close to the sounds made by the Aeolian harp that day all the days since and all
The Souls whose shouts resounded then and now what joy bells are ringing throughout the
Years you read this the harp cuts thorough every excuse every denial we make when His love is
Calling over pastoral fields over head white clouds azure blue sky a single white dove the son of
Man personally calls to you I love you you’re missing so much following the false and deadly
Trends of this world come let me pull you close your land a waste land of just material things in
My presence unquestioned exception hurts carried for years will be healed only as a father can
Do your guilt will be forever cast away moral purity that your soul cries for will be heaped in
Your life no longer dark shadows that haunt but real true life that satisfies to the uttermost it
Will heal bring new understanding addictions are flimsy bindings that hold only because you
Seek all things that are rooted in disfavor my favor knows no bounds and you will be free I will
Breathe my spirit and you will know the Aeolian harp tunes and breathtaking wonder will swirl
Through your mind heart and spirit Heaven will displace the black strangle hold of this world
Centered anew the rays of the cross and my love breaks every yoke true freedom is yours for
time and eternity
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2019
.i've come the one sober conclusion that concludes all other "necessary" conclusions, drunk. the consumption of alcohol and sunlight should never, ever, mingle; it's just plain silly, bad for the usual mood associated with drinking.

what do you get when you
"conflate"
   a post-existentialism movement
whereby, each, and, every, sentence,
looks, like, this,
   or invokes,
"something" akin to "this"?

      comma contra the ditto /
nuance?

          contra-points
meets buffolo bill
meets lily savage...
meets: whatever marylin mason
critique you have
in that head of yours...

and, yes, the platitude standards
of kant was a feminist,
plato was a feminist,
but now...
   i don't even know who
a feminist ist...

   (on purpose "added" T)...
pose...

       a sunday newspaper article,
reads...
    'sting at ******* lays bare
feminist split over *** work'...
i'm either ******* trans-confused
or just gender-huh?

hell, if we're going to ****
around with language,
numb-skull our experience with /
against it...
           good thing i learned
a few chemistry prefixes...

ortho- probably implies cis-,
trans- could imply meta-
when attached to ***,
but not the benzene ring...

    it's one thing transcending
the geography of Copernicus,
quiet another...
to "revise"...
using these vectors,
akin to the benzene ring,
ortho-, meta-,
oh, right... you forgot the para-,

nice thought,
use chemistry vector coordinates
for binding groups,
they're all here,
meta-, ortho-, para-,
      cis-, trans-,
       it's almost like a new
pantheon for the demigods...

the "metaphysics"
of transgender...
cis-,
  "on the side of",
side of what?
   a cupcake 1 +
     happy-birthday singalong,
or, what?

  well, given that biological
reality did the whole: bye bye
and a queen elizabeth II wave...

    the best part of me,
is not about to make sense of all of this...
i'll leave that to the journal-enlists...
       me, back in a *******
in athens,
unable to tell the difference
between a greek and a libyian...
because you know how
the mediterranean folk like:
smelly sheep herders
greasy, damaging good looks,
and an aura of that:
dangerous brunette...
not anything like us baltic folk...
downing raw herrings
in a piquant mingle of oil
and white vinegar...

      anyhoo...
       giggles exhaust me...
so i did get a chemistry degree
"for something", after all...
         classical chemistry
prefixes, required to draw
electron travel schematics...
mostly associated with
the benzene ring,
if ortho-, meta- and para-
positioning is "in question"...

cis or trans isomers...
**** me, i used to study this...
organic chemistry was
my soft-spot...
       a bit like what
cooking curries later became...
eh... brew some ester...
get a perfume out of it...

        but even at university
level they didn't teach me
how to extract polyethylene...
i guess it was polyethylene...

   like the whole oil rests
above water,
for the love of god i don't remember
what two liquids were involved,
one sat above the other,
and you'd pinch
the "event horizon"...
and pull threads of
the polyethylene from it...
strings of plastic...

          so, this current, philosophy
playing with a chemistry tool-kit
invoked into propaganda berlin /
weimar lone no loan woe?

                        sure, i'd buy it...
but up to a point...
    i'm sniffing around and have
come to the following conclusion...
someone...
is really in dire straits...
wishing that gwanp'ah soviet
came back
to settle the equilibirum...
        this current feeding of
a lost void is...
       not helpful...
       as i see it...
   it will take much more than
a ****** to nanny the riddled
males of the capitalistic
  "under-class"...
   queen bee, isn't going to "cut it"...
if she's no gargantuan
***** black 'ole... is "she"?

      and the whole gender neutral
pronoun, schtick?
   that's only worth so much...
sooner or later...
        "they'll" be gagging
for the guns of navarone...

the current mumbo-jumbo
is... alkenes
to me:  cis-2-butene
                     trans-2-butene...
background noise...
  
ugh... chemistry:
             algebra, for the truly wicked.
     but let's entertain
this kindergarten play talk
for a while longer;
no one wants to see a dangling
poopie suffocated by
a g-string,
                  do we?
Tyler Nicholas Aug 2011
Zeus is ****** tonight.

Maybe he was having conflict with Hera. Maybe Apollo or Athena or Artemis accidentally attempted to rain art or astuteness or animals down upon Earth, respectively.

Maybe he drank too much wine.

Whatever the reason is, it's quite a light show.

There are no stars, only the
chemiluminescence
on my shirt and my shorts
that were poured upon me by
intoxicated partiers who thought it would be entertaining
to shower the combination of peroxide and phenyl oxalate ester
upon the party guests.

A map of the universe
is splattered across my hands.

It's as if Zeus
threw away the sky,
in an inebriated gesture,
and it landed around me.

Cronus should have swallowed the father of gods and of men whole.
Dr O Aug 2014
The deranged man prepares his own mask
And designs it to show his true face
For too long the world has been black and white
And now he has decided to brighten his existence
Walking through the doors with a insidious smile on his mask
Two guns buried beneath his coat in the midst of summer
His anxiety transforms into elation like water into ester
As he recalls the day he first rejected propaganda

Multiple gun shots reminiscent of an opera hall symphony
Uncontrollable laughter between the endless barrel explosions
His heart warms and he first begins to feel the feeling of love
As the ****** rejection of conformity never felt so gratifying
57 bodies lay now devoid of duplicitous propaganda
The sane man removes his deranged mask
And revels in his good deed to the world
Screams and sirens express the degradation of conformity
As the sane man delivers just one more round into his sane mind
And leaves a world of insane people
With 57 other friends.
The mind of a psychopath
What if they're right, and we're wrong?
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
the famous czech immunologist (miroslav holub) got it right, holding his complete works, seeing the precious output,  then hearing him say it: 'i'm not against the repetition, but what the hell would i write if i lost my first ambition of a career? i would write dross, but i'm not against balzac or dickens doing the ironing work - but i just couldn't do it - better me likened to a butterfly that was the czech spring of '68. indeed mummified flowers between the pages.'*

the main reason poetry books will never be
shelved, itemised, on the inventory: BEST SELLER,
is because they use priceless things in their contents
section of approved poetics ticked off...
poets mention the moon, the night,
the sun, the orange glaciers of skin of suntans
bundled up in fat and sold as ****,
poets forget they are touching priceless things
with words, i'm sure a readership numbering
1,000 will dry your socks after that marathon
run on lake verbose in the middle of hunting season,
but it will never go past that,
that's the fury and the fear surrounding
hunting down the poet who exceeds producing
the noble prize winning output of a szymborska,
~100 poems a lifetime means you really did live
it out, and wrote with slithering undertones
the art, the paradoxical art of the ancient world
trumpet or saxophone - it wasn't philosophy
that attacked us... but the woodwind instruments,
the harps are safe, i stashed them while cracking
and playing bone poker dominoes with my fingers.
poetry doesn't attract the most socially acceptable
form of lying: namely fiction -
poets don't lie - there's no genre that does it better
than writing fiction - and if they do lie,
it's un-intentional - mechanical, like the world,
like the world being so mechanised it almost
feels self-content without applause but an opera
chorus of screams and other forms of hysterics.
some books talk of seen and unseen realities,
i beg to differ, i can claim certain unseen realities
in the seen realities, take for example
man's ability to walk the method of onomatopoeia
like virgil walking dante through the inferno...
man as an animate thing can clearly imitate
other animate things.... he can howl, meow and bark,
he can imitate the pig's and the deer's snout
when impregnating a mare...
the grunt hot breath riff of things...
but he misjudges his accuracy of recording sounds...
he simply cannot fathom the sounds of inanimate
things in the realm of onomatopoeia;
it's not that he mishandles the 26 symbols,
but when he tries to make the visible doubly-visibly-divisible,
to notate knocking on a door, to notate
the scorching sounds of the sun in the equilibrated
exchange of hydrogen & helium (sun gods
laugh after all), when he tries to notate
the carbonated water fizz, the beer bottle cap
charles i pop / apache scalping with a tomahawk...
he's off by a mile and a marathon...
we can't mutilate words into sounds just to see
certain sounds (primarily of inanimate things)
with letters... there's an impasse about the whole thing;
this is trans-verbosity, overt-verbosity that cannot stand...
it's pointless trying to see a complex sound
with letter governed by the onomatopoeia...
it's enough to hear it... touch it... seeing is not believing
in this instance... this insistence...
after all we're utilising priceless things to get out message
across... so if man makes it worthwhile,
an onomatopoeic antonymous decision i have crafted:
the sound of the universe's vacuum "silence"
is counterweight to neither the sound of atoms congregating
into celestial orbs... but rather the place where man
out to shove his parallel representation of thought.
you can already see invisible realities within the realm
of visible realities, the many missing and the many amiss
onomatopoeias of what animate things echo from when
interacting with inanimate things... paradoxically
atoms are in an inanimate equilibrium as animate things
likened to the celestial bodies in orbit,
but in fact they are inanimate in an animate equilibrium...
worth a worth's worth of study in a laboratory allotment...
and if it was a cow's digestive system you were investigating,
the inanimate equilibrium is being worked on:
the equilibrium of what sort of usefulness from experience
can be possibly passed on;
but wait, you can't write me the onomatopoeia
for the crating of carbon monoxide (CO),
or formic acid (HCOOH),
or myristic acid - nutmeg  (CH3 branch with twelve CH2
and the carboxylic ending),
nor the ester (RCO2R) - because now you're
using a chemical alphabet of the periodic table,
and all necessary onomatopoeias are lost
to the names of the necessary elements
that begin with hydrogen, and end with anything
remotely removed from a famous scientist
by the elemental name akin to einsteinium.
Bunhead17 Nov 2013
[Hook: Ester Dean]
Voices in the air
I hear them loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear
Nothing can compare
I just wanna listen

[Verse 1: MGK]
As my, world turns
The heart beats
Not only in my chest
But the heart in these streets
So when they feel this, they feel me
But I can't feel nothin', outside these dre beats
I am from the city of evil, came from the bottom
Standing on top of what was supposed to be my coffin, whats up?
Inception shows me as a dead man walkin', but reflections shows this kid's still got it
Let it be known I got the throne like I don't know that there's a king
Never grew up around a family because I'm not a human being
And anyone under my level that’s coming at my spot for the top
Let them have it, cause when I leave, the whole world drops
Lace up Kells

[Hook]
I hear voices in the air
I hear em’ loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear
Nothing can compare
I just want to listen
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh I am

[Verse 2]
Waking up sweatin from the stress of being caged down
Everything I write is played out like what is this ?
Tear the whole page out
Man I come from holes in the wall but they don’t know the path
Even if I told them it all, they wouldn't know the half
So maybe I fill up my luggage with all of these dreams and put on my black coat and my black chucks and nothing in my jeans
And just run, till the day comes like Rocky’s movie scene
And I’m on top of the world, look up and scream like this is me, this is Kells
Crucified by the public without the nails
Do or die in my city but clearly I never failed
Lost myself in the game when I found myself in a cell
Then I found myself in the fame when I lost myself in the pills
And you cannot mess with me still , seen them boys and they winnin
Underdogs of the year Cleveland boys in the buildin'
What the **** is a ceiling I’m taking this to the top, and when I leave the whole world drops Lace Up Kells

[Hook]
I hear voices in the air
I hear em’ loud and clear
Telling me to listen
Whispers in my ear nothing can compare
I just want to listen
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh
Telling me I am Invincible (3x) - oh oh I am…..
lyrics to  "invicible" by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Ester Dean
Mary McCray Apr 2019
(NaPoWriMo Challenge: April 18, 2019)

Let’s just say we are builders of wagons.
Yeah, cowboys building coffee wagons.
Smart cowboys who had good hubs.

Even though the wagons give us plenty
of problems to be solved,
bonnets to be painted with advertisements,
commercials to be played on screens
out the back. But we were the best

wagon building team there ever was.
We liked each other; we laughed a lot;
we kept trying to improve our processes.
We shared life tips and work tips
and hiking tips and campfire tips.
We were grateful for each other.

Ester would visit me every morning
and we’d talk about our mothers
or she would show me how to paint bonnets.
Well, one surprising day
they escorted her out of a wagon
and sent her down the trail
without so much a howdy do,
after 28 years of painting wagon bonnets.
And they expressed no gratitude for all her bonnets.

And for this, the rest of us felt grief.
Elmwood picked up painting her bonnets
but he never wanted to work on bonnets.
Gwendolyn moved to another work team.
Ernie stopped caring about the wagons.

And then Bruce came to tell us
we weren’t even making wagons anymore
and that we would be making something else.
But we never found out what that other thing was
and our systems were disassembled
and all our projects were halted
and no gratitude was expressed
for all we had done.

And we felt grief for missing the wagons
and missing Ester and missing our sessions
of circling the wagons.

Entropy came and some cowboys began to feel
more than grief, they started to feel grievances instead,
grievances that Bruce and Betty and Barbara
from Corporate never visited and never knew
what making wagons was about.
And after a while we couldn’t tell the difference
between grief and grievances.

But maybe Corporate was right
because nobody is selling ******* coffee
out of wagons these days.
Or trains or trolleys either.
The work is nothing, after all that,
but spinning wagon wheels.
And all the wagons are melting right now
in the hot, dry sun.

Work is the moments and nothing else.
You can be grateful for that.
Grievances will get your out the door.
But your grief will never quit.
Prompt: write a poem about grief with tangible particulars.
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2016
when language becomes as clarified as mathematics, i'll call each grammatical categorisation a number, e.g. noun (1), verb (2), conjunction (3)... and then i'll ask you to define arrangement, whether by arithmetic or calculus, to define a usage, without mistake, to provide the canvas of theoretical robotics (a.i.) and actual robotics (vacuum cleaners).*

i'd never want to fall in love with the self-love
you write about; the end: and as the wise saying goes:
it takes being cruel to be kind... and people
after my generation deserve more than that...
they came and ruined the world;
oi *******! pork chop me a line!
you're the ones that ruined
the music industry... you bought ****...
you downloaded like mad,
you were the ones that said: free art!
but nit free bread...
you keep it up, insulting Africans,
by sprouting new charity schemes...
keep it up like cotton picking...
keep, the, ****, up...
1st prize a 12" *****... get happy... get analysed...
get the ******* my shoulder trying to make me
be a daddy i never wanted to be for a wedding ring...
as you said... "maybe it's all about the chemistry?"
i guess it is... you thought ester patrons of scent
would never be anything explosive...
but there it was, stared at by the many socially
acceptable voyeurs... and you faked
reading the first page and instead took your top
off for the contrast of importance filling page three;
oh sorry, was i being rude? perhaps realism
is a feminine stance of spelling when the masculine
asks of reality, and neither gesticulate a finite coarseness
compared to the infinity of sandpaper / 5p.m. stubble.
next time i'll be in love i'll be dead...
keep that love for your mother or father
and leave me to live out a finite enjoyment enjoying
threes with hands of what could be easily divided,
minutes and hours... seconds are pet-peeves
and gnats and ticking... ticking...
i can't afford to make my life represented by...
but i can represent billions by the time's division
into seconds stressed... yet still more
raindrops than insects... and still more atoms...
so why quest for an individuality among the numbers,
when among words you over-stressed a concern
to the point of not lacking adequate expression but
with words too for the numbered millionaires and billionaires
you suddenly jested a queen's hand wave on parade
for a miscarriage that wasn't really worded but numbered?
and i guess that's a rare eloquence, as nonchalance is.
Vince Paige Jun 2010
mister master
sister slapped her
grabbed your ***
faster faster

broken plaster
alabaster
poked your ****
faster faster

ester asked her
my disaster
grinning grins
faster faster

blister blaster
such a *******
smacked your mom
and faster faster

flushed her flashed her
dropped my pants sir
kiss my ***
faster faster
10:56 AM 6/22/04
HELP Ester **** help her with her cause
let her help the teens and the media wars
let brianna s death be a legacy
help her stop the things that should never be

people should support her with her  media fight
help her save the teens help her with her plight
let her stop things that should never be
let brianna stay forever.  in our memory

help Ester all we can with her media fight
help her with the teens so they have there right
do it for brianna and her mother to
let us fight together every me and you
ConnectHook Jan 2018
Mordecai (hallowed gatekeeper)
triumphs over Haman (gallowed hate-keeper)
Shout-out to my Jewish peeps
(the GOYIM know !)
Sharon Talbot Aug 2018
Kalanchoë, finally you bloom!
Welcome little foreigner,
To the corner of my room.
With frangipani flame
And crocus-gold effulgent.
Strains past succulent skin
Joyous, ebullient!
Though your petals grow
Just to hold it in,
Fiery blood escapes
Past watery blocks of ester-swell
And you exult with me
In a wintry cell.
Dedicated to the first bloom of a pretty plant that feared might never bloom, which finally treated me to one blossom in winter.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2015
you know the story, it's either machine-gun,
piano of a troll strolling along to the song
of a girl wishing to be anything but the female version
of oedipus, attracting attention, ******* a lot
(as you do), then clinging to the stable one
for perfection of the lie... i can claim such resources
in femininity as fluent and true, but what i claim is about:
care for the man engraved in history for a while, while man
encouraged man to not limit a life of 30 years the span of 30....
post-humous we'll have it.. there's too much CUT! and
pitchfork perfect in fame of the modern sense...
i could have settled for a court hearing,
a malignant care to concern myself...
but then i'd be a *****... i'd be reaping unrelated rewards
to only attempt prohibition if penitent alcoholics...
and i don't want that... i want what the japanese proclaimed,
i want honour... and you know...
eye for an eye is hardly money for a haemorrhaged
brain... the thing honour exposes...
i can see ridicule a mile away...
it's wit alright... but it's wit where you're centre stage
being laughed at...
honour does away with ridicule as the miscarriage
of wit...
it's humour alright... but it's not really pardonable...
honour can see ridicule a mile away...
plus i might have been smothered by a pillow...
i stood up, like the noumenon rhasputin and thought:
better me than ugly...
i enter the realm of the cat's onomatopoeia
that's meow... cling to the rule of writing the tetragrammaton
losing the vowels and get m & w...
then i apply this to understand something...
vowels are breaths... consonants are things breathed into / at,
i rearrange my insurgence...
the cat understands everything with the onomatopoeic
barrier of meow... it's the coptic version
of the science behind the eye...
i see upright with the aid of chinese writing
from top to bottom...
in get the crooked with the aid of militant japan
(the only military nation of asia),
sideways is when two monotheisms speak -
not even islam allowed it being written from
right to left...
it's hardly the jurisprudent hebrew:
i'm right... you're wrong.
no wonder the verb herbivore asking
the noun carnivore to eat up definite terms
of hydrochloric and carboxylic and ester to
speak in public about chemistry...
many a tree will blossom and then wilt...
many a sun will combust and shoot out
2d black holes that are explained with the symbol ∞,
many a badger will transverse the whole
of alaska in search of a frozen atlantis -
keen eye of man dare not look to devalue humanity
in what is called the fingerprint of dinosaurs
among insects...
who will carry our fingerprints?
only words can remain, a levelling above the insects
that might be deciphered by a universe in glee
of the ordained awes in number akin to sins & cardinal virtues.
we will not roar to the morn's reminder,
into the atomisation of answers the biologists provide
with d.n.a., we will not atomise truths and untruths,
biological atomisation is not the answer,
we have the chemical alphabet after all:
H, He, Li, Be, B, C, N, O, F, Ne, Na, Mg, Al, Si, P, S, Cl, Ar, K, Ca, Sc...
we need more than mosquitos and welsh / chinese dragons
to prove we existed for the next to come on this droplet of
splendour... the welsh and the chinese knew of
giant-lizard ribcage tabernacles before the excavations?
how strange... all of psychiatric theory concerning
the unconscious is just standing upside down...
we knew prior to what he senses sensed... weird...
as weird as what's termed the devil's dozen...
jesus: peter, andrew, james, john, philip, bartholomew,
matthew, thomas, james, simon, thaddeus, judas;
by my count that's past high noon, as one in the afternoon;
but in terms of spacial coordination... two thousand
and fifteen years out of date... given the present
islamic reformation.
Allan Mzyece Apr 2017
She brought me flowers that performed my nose with an ester scent,
By each second as i completely laid dead
Lost in my own Casket; wishing I was alive just to place her tears back in her eyes,
Wishing I could feel her breath hit my skin as I but try to fight the atmosphere for nothing but sweet Oxygen

She held tight onto my Tombstone and Said
"Baby my heart you won, Awake your corpse and come make love to me like a real man"
For years, i have been in this shell and such sweet words make a heaven out of my hell

Although i am gone, Her love never dies
Although she has a man, her heart shouts only my name
My Romantic *****, I pray god gives me a second chance to put on a show
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2016
a patient walks into a doctor's office
and says:
- doctor, doctor, i'm suffering
from diabolical laughter!
doctor replies:
- just keep on laughing.*

they're really truly atheists on
an atomic level,
the more they try to live outside
of nature, and glorify it,
the more damnable they come:
put them peering into a microscope
or a telescope the more
their audacity builds up,
but when an earthquake,
but when an earthquake,
when a storm, when a hurricane,
all the intellectuals disperse,
the pathetic state of drowning,
the pathetic state of any form of suffering,
you'll only find atheistic audacity
among biologists,
chemists and physicists the middle-men
of argumentation,
biology appeals to the general public,
as expressed by confusion in the ***** region
of things... transgender this, transgender that,
the ploy of the heterosexual:
it's only natural via a surrogate mother,
and a human heart grown in a pig's body...
while chemists construct the next ester
of shampoo or fishy bacon, or the next
biggie boom boom,
while physicists are out there with the quote:
now i'm become death, the destroyer of worlds,
but can't stop the moon in its tract...
or bother with the near apparent
biggie boom boom of saltpetre, sulphur and charcoal,
they make the explosions too big...
too much of a Hiroshima, too much of a Nagasaki...
Hollywood is still dreaming of the Manhattan
Project, it's constantly terrorising america...
Hollywood is constantly out on a Jihad to
culture-corrupt with a constant sense of paranoia...
it's always destroying cities...
big **** monsters or some odd german accented
'simon says, simon says...'
but they changed location, now double-decker
buses are exploding on parliament bridge...
so the kids know of it, a day late, a day after
the explosion on twitter.
or as i once said, when that famous tsunami hit
japan... 'where was the army dropping
bombs on the wave to disperse it
and disallow its movement onto the mainland?
they could have bombed that wave into oblivion...
instead some other army, in some other
country decided it required a tsunami of blood
to pour into other countries via the streams
of journalism.'
Asominate Apr 2019
Bending grass and rolling hill
Caress my palms and make me still
Essence of the floras' ester
Tickle my nostrils; nose and pester
Euphrosyne Mar 2020
Three corrupted men
Lurking through the night
They feel safe because they think they have their right
Groped a minor and said it'll be alright

Covered some stains
Just to hide their nasty remain
Tried make a public apology to their crime
Yet the minor they groped they paid and promised to be a mime

Defended by their colleague
What a shame ester and joe,
Known to be a famous comedian
Yet they made Deliah's story a joke

Until now they're convicted
We all know that uncle changed the system
Even though the true story were written
And there it goes people didn't believe to the victim

The minor got traumatized
Her brain and body got paralyzed
She were gone wrong and despised
And decided after 4 years of trauma she planned to suicide.
A true **** case from the year 1990's. Labas mga Pilipino HAHAHA kilala niyo to
a wafer
on a
bee that
said enough
to her
workers how
this milky
flavor with
pone would
butterfly the
Queen as
Ester said
a ruleless
bunch there
was made
of gold
in mambo
a dance with a note
The Fire Burns Oct 2016
Twisting, traveling tongue tastes
passionate pink parted places
easily enjoying each exceptional ester
moist muffs munched merrily
A sensual exercise in alliteration
Bo Tansky Nov 2018
Echo, Wood nymph of folklore
Punished by Goddess Hera
Hated, there was no choice
Fated, deprived of her voice
Repeating words you hear
Punishment for a puppeteer
You fell in love
so you thought
With Narcissus
But he got caught
Looking at his own reflection
Turned him into a flower
Not his finest hour
Leaving Echo lonely and sad

For all the cads that
Never met a mirror they didn’t like
Who’s self-absorbed refection
Removes any trace of reflection
A thought can be misleading
Even if informed by a feeling
Don’t think
Because you think it it’s true
Consider others point of view
Don’t think because I disagree
There’s something wrong with me
Don’t always refer to you
Your grandiose style
Is just a grandiose denial
And while you deny that it’s true
Only an echo believes in you
Must I echo your words
How utterly absurd
This I can’t do
Even if it displeases you
Nothing moves you
Except for the powerless, you occasionally feel
Let’s you know you’re real
And yes
The rage is real
Hidden so well
That no one can tell
As you covertly hide from yourself
Your histrionics are first rate
Always out of date
A recording from the past
You’d think, you’d have worn out the grooves
Of the characters you cast

At last
There’s never an end
To the people I meet

All the friends you absorbed
Into the persona that’s you
Each has a name
But there nameless to you
I say
I know where you got that from
You say
There’s nothing new under the sun
I say
What about originality
You say
Plausible deniability
I say
I really, really need to get away
I say
Then, why do you stay?

I’m in search of my voice
I left it behind
In another time
I need it
Have you seen it
It could be
Anywhere
Under the couch
In the closet
Under the bed

You’re looking in the wrong places
The world’s a reflection
Of the spaces
Between the thoughts
Of your stasis.

It’s true
I’m never alone when I’m with you
Like living in a zoo
Forgive my sarcasm
Lack of enthusiasm
That’s what it feels like
Being with you.
First, you’re uncle Fester
Then you’re Grandma Ester
Who are you really
You don’t know
Do You

You never looked that far
Skin deep
Go that deep
Take a look
What do you see
It isn’t me

I’m not the object of your hatred
I’m not your scapegoat
Forgive the diatribe
For I am a scribe
Looking for her voice.
I am Echo no more
Ghetto Mozart melody flowing to ya heart
Cant part from these poisonous darts
I lurk the dark black lagoon spotting June's
Summer fly girls with the biker short shorts
Light a new port blaze the fire rewire tapped
The metal flyers got em flier reaching higher
Destination devastation rot atomic creations
Its the black Dutch cobra clutch aint much
You can do once I break off ya crew drawin' blues
Mississippi been a hippie since she met jimmie
Rock the spot the flashlight over rocks ***** knocks
Out the biggest men well then again I turn to gin
Rebirth through medicine inject hip hop syringe
Cold cringes from my friends check the spins
Rims caught smoke from the gust of the wind
I'm burning rubbers sitting fat on money like Jabba
The hut heir to King Tut soldier feelin' bolder
Got Jafars diamonds in the rough catch a bluff
Watched em get stuffed trunk fantasy
Island investors hawk at leechers like Ester
Pack the desert ease as a protector inspector
Over ya decks beats i check mics i wreck
Give em the Van Gogh art effect woods peck
Choppin' off the haters list to gain respect
Words hit like a tech infant godly flows dialect
Feel me flow ocean tide to hide the gloomy pride
At the lakeside of funk got much ***** chunk
me an Alley op me a beat watch the rhymes dunk
suckas cant know they can't compete
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2021
there only about three songs in my repertoire as a listener
that stab me in the heart...
i'd stretch to four... debatable whether
it's king crimson's epitaph or in the court of the
crimson king...
starless makes it into the triad...
i guess i'm only focusing on a specific genre:
counting out classical music altogether, & jazz...
because: just be...          cause...
in the triad... nights in white satin by the moody
blues...
& omega's (a Hungarian band)
       gyöngyhajú lány...
   i'm probably lying... there'd be a fifth
with something by Maanam...
             i can't really give you citation on
the worth of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones...
oops...
i don't even think its the pop status that kills
it... it's that: you want to find something
auxiliary, hell: ulterior...
that terrible fate of man...
if he were a crow: he'd still invented motives
to not croak, crackle...
   if man were a cow he'd still find ways
to not moo...
              i've heard the maxim: yes yes...
you're just as different as everyone else...
so what? that's how we're herded...
what simply shows is...
how hard some try...
and how those who don't try...
end up... trail-blazing: their own little:
Robinson Crusoe eventuality...
    - what a plentiful Saturday...
two rugby matches... no football on t.v.: **** yes...
& changing the rear tyre on my road-bicycle...
700 x 23cm...
6 punctures... in the tyre...
2 in the inner tubing...
i took the wheel off... spin spin after spin
in a makeshift water-bath to see the puncture better...
Ezekiel? didn't you see?
third time, tipsy... oh look how it's easily done!
next i'll prepare a chicken for a spatchcock blind-folded!
****'s sake...
coffee, x3... with some magical liquorice
liquor... Mexican... yella... or ow...
magical... how much i love anise... liquorice...
esp. when coupled with alcohol...
& coffee...
dreary ******* day persisted nonetheless:
i didn't mind... hard to mind...
when you can finally get off your backside...
& wait for investing in a career as a steward...
for a while...
i'd rather teach English children English than chemistry...
we'll see... no chance in hell will
i be found teaching Lebanese children
an American accent...
i'd sooner teach a dog to meow or a cat to bark!
live a little...
so obviously after changing the tyre
i had to take the ol' Viking for a spin...
minding to buy some fuel for the night
in the form of ms. amber & herr whiskers...
but the breaks weren't right... too tight on the lever...
thankfully i took some tools...
knelt in the supermarket car-park
by the trollies & started to imagine a violin
in my hands... what?
fiddling... i started fiddling...

and you might appreciate how difficult it is
to make small-talk...
esp. in unhandy situations...
you're fiddling with your bicycle's breaks
a man goes up to his car with some
spare groceries  & starts off with:
you've seen that video on youtube...
this young guy doing X...
dead... such is the world we live in...
aha... sorry what the **** was that talking
about? amazed that i want to work on
my own bicycle... it's not a *******
F16 fighter-jet...
is it?
sure, currently we have such...
focused spans of attention...
such concentrated specialisations...
a jack-of-all-trades is frowned upon...
when i think of work i think of:
lifting ****, moving ****... a sort of chess...
harvesting crops...
what's the rest?
loitering... esp. concerning women in clothes shops...
not even barristers...
i mean: what's work... outside the realm of
the "3rd world" sweat-shops...
what are we, "1st world" inhabitants...
content-production ******?
what, *******, "content"?!

best not jinx it... i'll be a steward at Wembley...
i'll be an authority figure...
i have the height (6ft2) & the weight
(96kg)...
           Maanam: krakowski spleen...
6th song?
        work as loitering: isn't work... work:
lift... move... it's like the antithesis of the cruel joke
from Auschwitz... arbeit macht frei...
when they forced the people to move
a sack of rubble from A to B,
to further relent at them moving the same sack
of pebbles from B to A...

what the hell is work when so much of "work"
is loitering?
pandering to whims?
how cruel of me: there's so much excess...
not enough condoms were clearly used...
solipsistic, marginal, attention-deficient ******
of the great **** of life...
so many ******* kings among the rabble...
king of Sweden, king of Romania...
oh you see them all the time...
wake up... or be put to sleep by a bullet to the head...

i understand work via... lift... move...
any idiot's fancy...
oh sure... when the intricacies of synthesising
an ester, to make perfume...
when what's required is... pasteurizing milk...
mein gott: the current trend of...
ensuring people are fed... well... not fed:
more like...
ensuring that they don't doubly butcher a
steak... who the **** eats a well-done slice
of steak? probably someone who eats a lot
of lamb dishes... ha! the Welsh are joked
about as being sheep-shaggers...
i'd look toward the Arabs... the greatest sheep-shaggers
of the whole lot of them...
not that the pig can't be used to make...
leather belts... leather shoes...
funny god: of the Arabs... sure... the Hebs too...
it's almost like the devil played a cruel trick
on these people...
pig: b'ah b'ah bad...
aren't ***** necro-
don't ***** eat the flesh of the dead?

but Arabs are one "thing" & the Hebs another...
there's the pristine phonetic study of the
tetragrammaton...
ah? for sighs... ha? for laughter...
W for cosine... Y: the implosion & the rotation
of delta (Δ)...
the Hebrews will accomodate...
the Arabs won't...
even among Africans i can find traces of
universalism...
the Arabs, ****- -stanis... & the Hindus (somewhat)
think themselves are superior...
hush hush when imploring
the Chinese or the Japanese to enter
my realm of thought...
i already think much of the Korean Hangul...
& the Japanese Katakana...
i'm no Ezra Pound... Chinese ideograms...
western Emoji...
the Egyptian hieroglyphs...
32 letters in the ****** alphabet...
as many as there are teeth...
in every man...
26 letters in the Anglican... 6 short...
which teeth will we have, on the platter?

- i think i write these words through a perspetcive of:
what are you, scribbler?
what the hell is the rest of the fancy?
what use for a priest?
i am useless?
i scribble... is it such a sin that...
since the inception of Napster... music "suddenly"
became free? who the hell pays for art,
these day? unless it's not overpriced
acrylic *****?
don't pay for art...
great! don't have a culture...
don't have anything western, "western"...
look how the old Soviets are... giggling & rubbing
their hands in synch. with Beezebub...

AYA - WARIANT "C"...

culture is free, music is free... plenty...
enough for it to be sold...
to no one... monopolised into nothing:
into predictable curtails...
buy new shoes, phones,
perhaps some books... perhaps...

you starved the artist you somehow wonder
why... waste upon waste of migrants are flooding
your borders... will they learn your tongue:
will they... for the people who espouse
Darwinism the most: how backward thinking you all
are... since... you're all ******* dodos
given, the generosity of comparison...
not even that...
how sickening your choice...

you learnt nothing from eastern Europe...
and i wish... that you don't learn anything to begin with...
may you tremble, may you trouble yourself:
with your little hyacinth torando makeshits
of... "the bothersome"...

art for free... who would be asking for
golden nuggets! none!
just scraps! enough to have enough for fuel...
electricity...
no one is asking for ******* stature...
either we'll get to level... or...
the levelling process will come of its own
accord...
you have... ha ha... "have" a choice...
but time will tell you: no... you really don't...

AYA WARIANT C...
"contra"... :Wumpscut bunkertor sieben...
barking, up, the, wrong, *******, tree...
no need for Shakespeare... that **** is timeless...
i need something to counter the debauchery
that's currently relaxed concerning
the practices of journalism...
            ahem... sorry... what journalism?
pampering secluded ****-smeared *****...

if the ghost of Robespierre is grieving in
me! if the ghost of Robespierre!
if the ghost of Robespierre!
                  
  für die leute! für alle!
                    i'm tired of these western...
"conservative": iconoclasts of individualism...
spoon-feeding... hmm...
right now i'm least required to
mention the capacity for: a) thought,
b) tongue...
i like the option c) fist...

these pink haired: freak-oids are just
bearable... Weimar bearable...
i just can't stand being told i'm...
pointless... worthless...
that my words are no sellable...
sure... i agree... they're not...
but... what the **** sells?!

   any, worse, or, better? don't come to me
with complaints that somehow the world is...
darker...
my cat is sleeping sound...
if i had a dog i'd try to not use a leash...

this little piece of *** sells...
great... life: nothing indepth!
here you live: hereby you sink...
drown in the shallows...

groß! eisengrinsen! lachen
entstanden von: diese volk:
das spreschen dies... zunge!

i still find it a bit of a joke... Aryans?
Sarmatians were an Iranian tribe that travelled
into Poland...
Aryans... o.k., sure... jawohl...
i still can't pass up writing some Deutsche...
bad German... or good German...
i don't mind... it's not like the whole
of Berlin will mind... ha ha...

life will have to pursue its own:
trajectory...
like the life of parasites...
imps... giraffes...
van Gogh's paintings... blah blah:
a century later i might be up for
scrutiny... ha ha... people might have forgotten
world war I, or... part deux?
no? new war... Armageddon... figures...
well then... my words are ash:
  mein wörter ar asche;
lucky... no shadow present: too.
Neville Johnson Dec 2021
Benedict Canyon lived with Beverly Hills and stepson, Van Nuys. P. Nut was golfing with Beau Peep, and suggested that Van join them. He declined as ***** Nilly had another foursome with Ali Mony and Mary Land.
        General E. Speaking was at the club, holding forth in his stentorian tones being raptly observed by Al Dente, I. Stan Bul, and if you can believe it, Pia Nissimo.
Moving through the room in search of her next sugar daddy, we encounter Miss I. Sippi, clinging closely to Di Namics on the same prowl. They homed in on Junior Mint, sitting with Al Hambra, Scott Free and Terri Yaki. Val Halla and Buzz Saw introduced themselves to the group, when suddenly Grant Deed fell to the floor, inebriated, stopping the conversation. Marv E. Lous, Mel Ifluous, and Murray Hill carried him, snoring to an easy chair and laid him down.
Cut to Hazel Nuts who was aghast, and turned to Leo ****, making the comment that Buck Wild and Claude Hoppers must have gotten him drunk. Slim Chance begged to differ, asserting it was Gus To, trying to get back at Vin Dictive, who had burned him in a property deal with Grant Deed.
        Ben E. Ficial was amused by **** U. Lar, notwithstanding the looks of Luke Warm and Bea Wildered, who were fearful Buck Wild was going to start a fight with Steve Dore.
        Earnest Money ventured over to Tony Neighborhood, but was shocked at Ana Rexa’s appearance, so he notified Conrad Alert, but Minnie Mise tired to quiet his alert, saying that Tab Oo, who seemed to have the run of the place, demanded the same. Observing this, Martin I said “I need a drink” and corralled Tim Buktu into buying him one.
Tess Osterone was surprising laid-back, maybe that was because his pal, Sandy Beaches, put her at ease. Minnie Appolis, just back from Minnesota, got into an intense discussion with Ruth Less and Mort Ality. I don’t think they like each other.
        Kitty Hawk flew into a rage at smelly Pete Moss, locked into deep conversation with Al Falfa. They both needed a shave and a wash.
Miss Anne Thrope was her usual depressing self, but thank God, she found Ty Lenol to lift her spirits somewhat. Millie Meter went the extra mile for Minnie Van, who struggled to figure out what Al Botross was up to with Tom Foolery.
       What to do with Dewey Decimal, boring everyone who all had his number? So Al Buquerque took charge and invited Hugh Tensils, Ben A Drill and Manuel Shifting to bring him out of his shell.
       Hazel Nuts, surprisingly matched well with Terry Aki, and Mac Rame Teased Mac Arena with a little dance. Ray Ban was a shade introspective and diffident, but had to engage when Polly Ester chatted him up. Take a look at Maxwell House, coffee in hand, who congratulated Gene Splice on his recent editing award. Dorit Os munched on the hors d'oeuvres with Cal Ameri.
       Teddy Bear was his cuddly self, and had a good laugh at Tom Foolery’s antics. It has been ages since Ron de Vouz heard the mellifluous sound of Hugh Kelele’s voice and they immediately embraced.
        What a quartet --- Ma Larkey, Rich People, Oz Mosis, and Ray Vaughn, all who stayed late, always the life of the party.
Perry Patetic moved around the room as though his pants were on fire. Everyone felt sorry for Des Titute: who wouldn’t?
There was Rose Bushes, in the midst of a thorny divorce, to which
Geri Atric could relate, as she had been through the same with Gus T. Winds, who had been represented by the mean lawyer, Ty Rade, who also happened to be present with his chief investigator, Al Ibi.
       Van Couver would not stop extolling the virtues of his native country, so Marshall Amps turned it up to 11 and drowned him out. Finally, Will Power stepped in to tone it down, as Eva Dently was going to leave otherwise.
        Billy Clubs and Lance Corporal stood around menacingly, but it was just for show. Meg A. Phone hit on Jackson Hole. I couldn’t tell if she was getting anywhere. The last to leave were Tex Mex and Dawn Trodden, who had nowhere to go. Cliff Hanger sighed and said he’d be back next year.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2021
don't get me wrong: i like to drink... the moment when you're just about to finish a 70cl bottle of whiskey and you get the cold sweats.... i never like to drink for mere taste... to excess or nowhere... that's why i own two bicycles rather than a car... you can get away with running against a red light at a crossing... but... the love is not so rife as it might be Siberian youth who... might **** their mother for not buying them a bottle of detergent... or some cheap Romanian fakery of: perfumed animals matter... some alias i have: i don't like to keep company when drinking: i either get doubly drunk on conversation: if i'm allowed... or my mood entirely sours... and i'm sort of buying fake mortality with... imagining the contender for companionship dunking digestive biscuits into... hot milk...

i asked for a shot of Jameson and half
a pint of Guinness...
she asked me whether i wanted ol'
McFaferty: Mr Whiskers and Ms Amber
in a glass over some ice...
i said i'd much prefer it in a shot glass...
i needed to make my lips into a pucker...
****... i also ordered half a pint of
Guinness... obviously i was going to wait
at the bar for the Guinness storm to settle
and two clear layers emerge...
ha... i went to university to study chemistry...
but the best chemistry experiment
i did in high-school...
its simplicity: pinching the event horizon
of how: polyethylene is created...
or was it: polyester?
hmm... it didn't smell like an ester might

now i know there's a perfectly sound
scientific explanation...
but i still want to be in awe:
i want to be ignorant...
bluntly put... less Luddite and more:
the rustic bear...
concerning?
how... you have yourself a cold glass of:
paddy does the best whiskey...
sorry Macfarfarferry Pict...

       the Irish blend a more subtle whiskey...
the Scots: ****'s sake...
they went one step further:
smoking salmon was one thing...
inventing golf another...
but... i hate Marmite... i love liquorice...
Laphroaig...
same ****: different cover...
while the:
paddy paddy: you one-arm bandit:
care to lend me your... ******* paddle?!
create the most subtle accents of a whiskey...
sort of shy hues...
nothing... akin to what a handover ****
looks like: concentrated amber trickle...
the Irish don't like their whiskers smoked...
me too... although...
i'm a bargain when it comes to a waggling
tale of a tongue on the topic of hops...
then again: where's the mead?!
it's always funny walking into a supermarket
aisles entitled: spirits...
well... ha... plenty of... ghosts?
like me: from yesterday...
frost instead of stubble... where the Turkish
barber made sure... i'd have to scratch some stubble
off the otherwise pristine line of beard...
i'm veering off even touching *****
because: it reminds me of how the English treat it...
lukewarm... and mixed with orange juice...
sorry... what?!
so not chilled until it resembles a glucose syrup...
and drank straight... usually with a bite from
the Spanish kitchen?
ugh... unbelievable barbarians: these Ing-leashed
when drinking *****...
shouldn't you people settle for warmed up 40% ers
like warm whiskers and Brady: the Bard of:
a load of *******?
lukewarm *****... orange juice...
it's a headache...

so you pour yourself a glass of cold:
i forgot to pick up a glass...
a teacup with have to do...
and... magic... water starts to condescend...
i'm pretty sure i haven't used condescending
words... on the outside of the cup...
have you perhaps noticed...
this has a perfectly scientific explanation:
it can be explained:
but... i don't want this to be explained...
it's my own little cosmos where
i'm entertained...
why would i want to know:
how a magic trick works?
   isn't it... magic: once more?
once it has been explained and is by one:
about to be reinvented with someone
like me...
reinventing alchemy in the culinary
       department...
i don't want the sordid explanation
that might leave me: completely...
sober & diatribe... shouting at a chair:
move! van Gogh! move!
****... this telekinesis isn't working...
pet names for inanimate objects...
i call my bed...
             dreamless jezebel...
what would i call the chair i'm sitting in:
hunched like a crow a pecking
at: even i don't believe he's perusing for...
coal?! it too was thinking: a nugget of gold...
but...
it's not like gold will give you
what coal arrives at...
to prove a "point" of not being the next
to last Nietzsche "incel"...
i went to the brothel and felt happy...
one hour at a time...
just one hour at a time...
it would make sense to tempt the bisexual:
to spread one's ****...
it would make sense...
            i purposively cycle into Soho
to have the impossible happen...
gays want me...
not old queens...
my... contemporaries...
i leave the girls and... they are girls:
on the ferris-wheel...
all glitter no **** of a baby in
prospect...
why wouldn't i take up prospects
of "game" among the gay community?
it's nice to be seen to feel wanted...
even if one is the *******
plumber... sort of speak:
made: available...
but i'm not giving up my **** virginity...
so easily...
not as a moral compass trajectory...
simply...
out the the fact... if i take so much
pleasure emptying my bowels...
******* out a 12" ****...
from time to time: sometimes
**** miracles happen...
why would i want to invent in...
"ingesting" through the same wind-pipe
an agitating presence of a phallus....
or imitation?
water... gripping the outer layer of a
glass of water...
since... there's cold water & ice-cubes
on the inside...
it can be explained by science: FACT!
boring little bothersome reality...
no witch-burning...
everyone so primed and sensible and
almost English... having just invented
cricket... making the Pakistanis feel
they're the ******* Brazilians at some
sport beside fools'-feet: spaghetti twisted...
hey... here's an 11's imitation of
kicking Jupiter about...

while dogs outright bark at alcoholics...
cats... on the receiving end:
perhaps they just: expect them to: crop up...
each day i wake up and i'm reminded
of the banality of life with its lack
of responsibility: however less teased with
homosexual excuses...
but i'm happy to not have a female
counterpart that might... esteem me as nothing
but a hoarder of screws... bolts...
a shoe collection...
i'm happy to be... relieved of the responsibility
to: SPEND...
can you even begin to envision a life where:
trading one set of inanimate objects
for another set of inanimate objects
stops feeling like... this... telekinesis... ought to stop!

sorry... what the **** are we doing?
trickling down a joke
as to how... or why... a monkey deserves to be...
barbered?!
last time i heard: the Taliban was asking
all the right question...

i can see it... almost...
it would feel so great to explore... have a second coming:
first: choosing...
turning bisexual...
but i have so much pleasure from an imitation
tapeworm coming out....
that: i honestly don't feel like...
have to want: to be expected to want...
some erected: wriggly bit...
being... inserted in... for me to:
pretend not to cough...

the concept of the week... the year?
sort of... dissolved over my head
when i tried to incorporate it...
8am seems fanciful... don't you think?

i burn a candle: so as to sit on a windowsill:
in order to... see my fat head being...
found: casting a shadow on a wall...
the end...

       summer is almost over; ergo?
the moon was bound to return to the night sky
over England... well...
Essex: if the rest of England is so inclined to think
so little of Essex...
i think so subsequently less of what's
England: on offer...
petty ******* moralist junk-in-betweens...
one bemoans the placing of Essex:
once...
the rest of England?!
eh... ****** pseudos: sort of English...
sort of Bradford... Rotherham...
your *******: ******... proper... by ****-
prishtine... INGLEASH...
at some point... you might want me to care?

i want to drink and sleep: the gods granting:
i might dream!
so much for miss pretty white girl anti-racist
having one of her anti-racist ***** with
a black guy...
sorry... beside Calypso...
i don't want to **** black girls...
i don't want to be homosexual...
i much prefer the Turkish ol' raven haired...
Ottomans teasing the Caucasian womb...

you tend to "forget": something important...
living on these isles...
the anglo-saxons were a people:
were...
as an anglo-slav:
sorry... distinguish me from the Russian
BRUTE...
the serb & goat...
Islamic sorts can confuse me with
having a face of a German...
i'll allow it...
i like it...
               i lick my wounds:
there aren't any...
my ring finger my pinky are numb...
i can't clench my index to
make a proper fist...
i dream of the Faroe Isles...
           i dream of ice...
i dream of water...
i dream of fire...
no wonder...
i dream of such wants that...
i can't dream of them!
let me eat: fog.
About Ida Augusta Margareta Andersson
Titanica

Name: Miss Ida Augusta Margareta Andersson
Born: Monday 24th November 1873
Age: 38 years
Last Residence: in Vadsbro Sörmland Sweden
3rd Class passenger
First Embarked: Southampton on Wednesday 10th April 1912
Ticket No. 347091 , £7 15s 6d
Destination: Manistee Michigan United States
Died in the sinking.
Body Not Recovered
Miss Ida Augusta Margareta Andersson, 38, was born 24 November 1873 the daughter of Johan Anders Carlsson from Sunden, Ingelstorp, Västergötland, Sweden. She was the youngest of four sisters: Elizabeth, Hilda and Hilma Susanna 1.

Ida's sister Hilda was was married to an Axel Johnson Sr. in Michigan and she died in childbirth on 7th March, 1909. Hilda was caring for her own 7 children and the 3 children of Axel's older brother Andrew. Ida was to come to America and care for all 10 children. Family members believe that Ida was going to marry Axel but that Andrew had also shown an interest in her.

Her other known family was a sister in law: Greta Olsson, Diket, Piggatorp, Ingelstorp.

Ida was unmarried and worked as housekeeper on Lagmansbro farm, Vadsbro, Sörmland, Sweden. She was on her way from Vadsbro to her sister Hilma S. Peterson, 408 Sibben St. Manistee, Michigan.

She boarded the Titanic at Southampton as a third class passenger and died in the sinking. Her body was not recovered.

The Mansion House Fund paid 874.08 Kr (£48) to Greta Olsson and a 924 Kr (£50) damage claim was paid to Ida's father Johan Carlsson.

Notes

1.Hilma Susannah Peterson (née Andersson) was born on 3rd November, 1876 in Svenstorp, Skarab, Sweden.

2. Some of this information was contained in a letter (date unknown) written by Ester, the eldest daughter of August and Elizabeth Johnson, Elizabeth being Ida's sister. At the time she was living at 407 S. Madison, Ludington Michigan. The letter also mentions that Mr Astor who went down on the ship owned an insurance company and that "Aster Insurance" settled $300 for each of Axel's first children.

— The End —