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rainydaysunday Apr 2014
It's funny:
Until now I couldn't imagine dependency on substances.
I didn't know how to imagine addiction.
Couldn't imagine a Routine in Smoke

But for the first time I got just to the edge--
went only a bit beyond.
And then I forgot.
I forgot to worry
my head like a puff of cottonwood
I didn't even have a backburner on
Simmering the responsibility
the inability
the fragility
of my self.

When I woke up it was back.
I had worry rushing to fill my head because it had
to make up for Lost Time.
and i wish i never had to stop Losing Time.
b for short Jan 2014
If I called all of your bluffs out loud,
we’d be here for months, and
my voice would waste away
to a bitter nothing.

But I need these pipes, and
ain't nobody got that kind of time to spare.  

So I’ll smile and quietly
call each of those bluffs to myself.
In gentle whispers, I’ll trim the fat,
and slowly examine the parts of you
that make sense.

I’ll soon notice that
my salt pile’s used up from taking a pinch
with each and every thing you say.
I would replenish it, but
I’m feeling too cheap, and
it seems the rest
of the sweethearts out there
need those grains more than I do.

Don’t you worry though—
this kind of cheap looks good on me.
See, I am so sick of being thirsty
and aching for that
truth
like
honey.
© Bitsy Sanders, January 2014
Brett Berger Jul 2011
it's only deep in the night when my mind wanders most that i ponder why another night of drinking alone is the status quo.  it's when i wonder why the wheel that started spinning so long ago keeps spinning, in the same direction and general speed.  deep in the night is when the doubts and regrets run rampant like rioters through the square, flipping cars amidst flaming tires.  it's when the needs and the wants clash for supremacy, assuring the mutual destruction of each.  loves lost carve their names into my neocortex.  where dreams unrealized fill their time by playing ping-ping until they're ****** from the backburner to manic importance.  deep in the night is when blood-shot eyes and blaring computer monitors have a staring contest.  deep in it, thought becomes reaction and the beans spill accordingly.  knee-deep and we're ravaging the calm into frenzy and burning the books of our beliefs and abandoning rationale in favor of the spectre of immediate gratification at any cost, at any loss.  deep in the night where no light penetrates, things become somehow illuminated.
Mybadbrainday Apr 2016
We are firefighters you and I.
Fighting back a blind hot fire. 
You, because of our impossible situation and the Other.
Me, because of my impossible situation and your Other.
I'm trying to keep my fire low and starving, or only a faint glow even,
but a whiff of air is enough,
enough to set my whole existence on fire.
Lay homes in ashes if not drowned or extinguished.

I'm grateful...

you keep your fanning breath of air
a swift tickling breeze for my sake.
Keeping your flare out of my flammable hair

but God, I want to burn so badly
I want to flame high, white and hot.
Not allowed to do that though....sadly...

I want to explode in a firestorm.
Consume everything in my way.
not listen to what they'd say
Turn everything into sorrow and ashes.
Let my heated tongues of flame lick you,
until you too is burnt to pieces.
Burnt pieces of charcoals
that I'd keep  in my heated heart.

A charred smoking reminder
of how devastating this fire of our love is.
How ugly to all that is beautiful and true.
Once letting my fire burn free there is no taming it,
no pardon, no wit

So, thank you my love!

For not fanning this fire
with more than
your flammable existence
It is oxygen enough.
I've lost all resistance.

So, thank you my love!

For not doing it my way.
Not letting me lay
my world in ached ruins.

It doesn't seem fair,
but let me slowly suffocate,
Turn your love into hate
make me choke and gasp for air.
A faint flickering flame
Pitiful and tame
As my fireman, put it out while you still can...
Nah, this doesn't come out right, but still needs out...
Maddy Oct 2020
You're the good one
Doing the very best you can do
Trying to see it through
while others take advantage of you
You have to do for them
but not for you
Backburner
Put it on the back burner  ( Chorus sing three times)
Reaching out and pulling back
Kindness to some is out of whack
By now you should have learned the closer you get to the fire
You get burned

Chorus and fade

C@rainbowchaser2020
song lyric idea
Katie Hill Jan 2014
My anxiety is the dream of a knife
almost a romantic fantasy of something physical that
could cause me the pain or discomfort that really
is just coming from my self
from some thought that I’ve swallowed or stumbled into or onto and now it’s mine
I cannot escape it.

Now it’s my burden and the choices are
to feast on it
or to ignore it until its white noise boiling on the backburner is all but a noose around my neck.

The laughable, socially acceptable third option is of course
the bottle of red or
the little white pill
from the purple bottle
exchanged from the pink slip
handed over by a worried lip.
I envy people who check their Gmail inboxes without wincing at the potential onslaught. I get more disappointing e mails from Sephora and the Container Store than I ever do from disappointed fellow humans, but I’m sure most of the disappointed fellow humans are just too polite to write.
Orion Schwalm Dec 2011
I was charged with the task of outliving my opponent,
Our benefactor whom I will speak no more than briefly about, has laid these orders before us and we will follow them, without falter.

Since I’ve seen absolutely no sign of my quarry in at least a half hour, and my camp and post is fully set, I may wander into the backwoods for a spell, searching landmarks and anything else that may aid my plight, I will carry the log at all times.

Slightly longer than I expected, took a few extra paths I discovered, still I should be within earshot of my encampment and have heard no sign of trouble. Perhaps, though, I should not underestimate my enemy.

Returned to camp, coldness and fatigue has set upon more quickly than expected. I will lay down to recuperate for a short time.

Awakening. My camp has been laid waste. Trenches have appeared as if by tectonics.
Nightfall.
-The light takes care of its own, even when they wander in darkness
Made spikes for an elbow of trench. My defenses are nearly invisible. Good luck adversary.

4 days since trenches showed up. No sound, but the wind. No movement, but my restless thoughts. Paranoia?
Or Pandora?

A man fell into my east spiked pit.  I watched the snowflakes gently cover his last horrified expression. He is not my prey.

2nd week. I’ve begun to wander out of the trench covers. It doesn’t get much lighter than twilight around this time of year.

The trenches…disappeared. What am I doing here?

Everything on this plain looks the same, I’ve passed several faces, with no names in my memory to stand by.
-What is courage to a death seeker? Whence does fear come if not from the end?
Strangely, I tire less. Perhaps this world has  begun to harden my shell. I am stopping at a small stream, the first defining landmark I’ve come across in many nights. There are no days anymore, only nights. I must judge time based only on my internal clock. My resolve will not fail me here.

Crows follow me at night. I will feign my death…to set their trap. I must sustain.
The most godless meal I have eaten in my life…
-Unbeknownst to historians, here will go absolutely nothing, to change the
tides of existence
Three days by this stream, sadly, it does not run any longer. It has not frozen, but the current has halted. I cannot explain why I am overcome with such gripping sorrow about this detail.

I have taken to painting with a spear tip. Blood drips nicely through snow. It’s as if I’m the first man on the earth who has discovered the means to express himself. And perhaps the only one ever again to
-My quarry must go on to the next generation, somehow, for some reason I do not know, must save. My own. Brood.
Made an altar for the slain crows. Though they are considered the devils bird, no being deserves such a dishonorable death. Trickery
Disgusted.
-How is there so much Hateful in the nonviolent?
Tears plague me, freezing before they can fall from my face. It’s like someone is taunting me, you will never be the man you searched for out here.
-My hand hurts, like a frostbitten oath nearly forgotten
Who am I?



Who sent me, who was I brought here to find…nobody.
Would I know if my task has completed?
No, I must stay vigilant. I’ve dropped my guard and my attention.
-We’ll see, foe, we’ll see whose wounds heal first
I have left the stream behind. Along with all the memories I had left. It’s time to move on.
-The task at hand seems far away now, like someone put it on the backburner for a minute, any minute now someone’s going to break me out of this dream life
I now stand before a white gale, seemingly a barrier to some sort of inner fortress. Unmoving. Bitter, cold, wind and snow. This testament of nature’s wrath beckons me,
And I cannot turn back.

I must reach the center now.**
-As feeling returns, so too does numbness, trading turns for turns, blow for blow, eye for eye, tear for tear
-There must be something in this mad storm
They bring with them the baggage of men
the lost children attempting pathetically
to recreate the aura of time long gone.

If you discount the roughness of skin
travel past the thick hedge of beard
penetrate the silt on the eroded eyes
you can delayer the hardened coats
and get to see  faces barely recognizable.

Some were once too close to be missed
their names and all
but most you could hardly recall
and it agonizes your thought
were they in the same class or not.

You smile till your jaws ache
fetching stories from the blue
dazzlingly colored and half true
for they are all in the mood
to joyfully succumb to falsehood.

You could tell from the body language
who's  in the backburner
and who on the front page.

Forty years break and make men
but they feign happiness
to be united again.
Yeah, we kiss sometimes.
No , sorry we kiss all the time.

He does hold my hand.

Sometimes he even says I love you.

He's my boyfriend... Because I was single.

I'm his now all because of you.

I was single cuz you broke up with me You broke up with me cuz you didn't want me You didn't want me cuz you were all done with me "for now."

You were the one Jumping into freedom

and then you drowned in it.

You were so excited to be "single" that you forgot your fear of being alone.

You swore it wasn't over.

Please Tell Me what you meant by "Let's Break Up"

Please Tell Me what the month of silence and ignorance meant to you.

Please Tell Me how "I just can't do this anymore" translates to anything but "We're all done here."

Please Tell Me why your words speak a different language that only you have the dictionary for.

Please don't tell me it was all temporary
because your words were dripping with tears of permanence.

Don't tell me it wasn't supposed to last.

I didn't know Good Bye was synonymous for I love you.

Because in my dictionary
Love is a Verb
and Those actions and your words do not hold up.

They're flimsy in the wind blown by the hot air you blow around.

They crumbled under my feet as I trudged on to a future where good-bye Bleeds and Love
is Sore from all of the deeds it performs.

You can swear love up and down the walls of your new home

But I've come to realize your words are more temporary than our parting ever was.

You only meant for...

meant for...
meant for...
meant for...

Oh that's right you only meant for me to wait patiently

You only meant for me to stay frozen with the smile that you could tell was really empty without you.

Well News Flash: My Heart Takes Up Rooms

Since you're so much smarter and wiser you know that matter can neither be created nor destroyed

and the Explosion only spreads it further.

So I hope this means you understand that
This Heart is painted on your walls and
This Heart is spattered over your memory and
This Heart gives a love that infects and
This Heart is too busy pumping divinity into this world that it will

Never leave me empty.

It will Never be me who jumped too soon over a threshold that wasn't there.
It will Never be me who left something behind that I couldn't afford to lose.

No it will Never be me who put the live ******* the backburner only to see she has crawled away while I brewed a new life for myself.

Stop You Say?
Stop You Say?
Wait You Say?

Wait for What, I ask.

For Simon to say Freeze?
For Simon to say Hold?
For Simon to say Pause?
Notice Simon never says Please.

Well I'm here to ask you, who the **** made you Simon?

Who made you the banker in the monopoly on who could live my life.

I think your ears heard the wrong thing when I held your hand and said

You were it.

I should have known better but then again
I didn't know we were playing a game.

But as always, the games have concluded and I ask Where's Your Medal, My Dear?

Is it under the new clothes that you've decided are your style now?

Is it hiding under her tongue?

Is it Wrapped around that bottle that you swore you'd never touch.

Are they in the eyes of the New friends you've known forever.

Sorry... 6 Months.

Well Pardon me for not being blinded at the Shimmer of your Participation Medal

But I'm too busy holding the purple heart you left me with.

I'm too busy weaving Gold into the fingers of my loved ones.

I'm wrapping a gold chain around his neck as a new promise that we will both win Together

A Sign of a Team Rather than Opponents.

Do tell me why, though, that you felt a need to win when I never wanted to keep score in the First Place.

It all gets so vicious in between those "Temporary" Words and False Actions.

Let this be a Lesson.

Watch your words closely.

Don't Let them run away with you because one day they might tattoo themselves into your shoulder.

That Chip that you can Never brush off.

And then it won't matter if you said them in Flowery Purple Wording because those words will be the ones that Scar you.

Purple will look a lot like defeat
And You'll understand that the
Tin you've traded your Gold for is corroding before you.

Please Do excuse me for mining for a more precious action to go with Love

Pardon my resistance to swallow your false intentions.

Please Forgive me But I Need to

Go Live My Life.
I think I might be allowed one bitter break up poem.
Emma Mar 2014
A hangnail that ends beyond your cuticle,
I wish I could say it hasn't happened before.
It feels like I'm rotting on the backburner,
On everyone's backburner.
It feels like payback for the years of dust I've let them collect.
I've lost my touch; I can't sell it like I'm busy.
I just don't care to sell it at all.
Ryan Bowdish Jan 2013
I told you after I ate all those wild mushrooms
"I will kick that bowl over...I'm sorry, but I will do it and I don't know why I can't force myself not to."
And the bowl tumbles over, and out spill all your secrets and emotions.
I didn't expect the carpet to soak you up so easy.
You're sinking in like water in skin, an IV drip with ivy grip
I got no reason to fight this, but it's gonna happen.

So I stand here listening to you unravel yourself
And it starts slowly, like your hair falls out
And then your nails begin to peel back
And your skin disintegrates into human ash.
Your muscular system falls off like wraps from a mummy
And then you tumble apart.

So here I am, I told you I would do it,
And I did it. And I didn't want to.
Because now I am picking up all the pieces.
Do you have any idea how long it takes to put a person back together again?

This is a lifetime project.
I have to put it on the backburner.
Otherwise I'll starve to death, because hilariously enough
We live in a place where we must pass the buck,
Like some other things...

Enough. I don't want to last here
I don't want to keep myself in a state of hypocrisy
I haven't had enough time for change
As drastically
As I hoped to have done
I haven't
Had
Fun
In Years
So much sorrow for someone so young.

I feel dumb
Sort of like a dream
Asleep but I can't see
Only hear the random speech
Muffled like I'm in the deep end
Listening up.

I haven't had enough
Yet
But I don't want any more.
Killing robots is fun
spending time going through the waves
all the noise of machines around
then that one noob joins
who goes pyro with backburner
i say kick him so we do
then a gibus ****** joins
we say *** go back to boot camp
so he does
and then a scout joins
we start the wave
he misses 102 credits
kick that guy too
then "he" joins
412 tours and unusual hats
australium weapons shining in our faces
we go through the waves
and win
hooray for us
we get robot parts
and killstreak fabricators
then that one guy
xXSniperPro69Xx
gets
Phi Kenzie Aug 2018
My shoulder blades are on fire
but I can’t focus on that right now

The food will be overdone
guests tired of waiting
nothing is ready yet

But I can’t focus
right now

Shove it down
push it back
remember to forget
TheTeacher Oct 2012
A desire for something that I had been thinking about for quite sometime.
Only to be put on the backburner.....due to not having time.

The thought bombarded me day by day......whispering for me to decrease the delay.
I had some errands to run and picked up a few things for dinner.

I stop at the aisle and hear you whisper my name.  I come over cautiously at first. This is not where I'm supposed to be.

Although...your sweetness and ingredients continued calling me.  I picked you up and we walked to the line together.....the thought of us hooking up later made my mood a whole lot better.

Upon arriving at my home....I removed you from your place of rest.....there are others present....but you will get the honor first.

An oatmeal raisin cookie and milk has satisfied my desire and quenched my thirst.
My inner cookie monster satisfied his need......"Me want cookie!"

So...that's how the story ends. A trip to the market to satisfy an unseen friend.
Richard j Heby Aug 2012
My friends say
Just put her on the backburner.

I don't think my stove is big enough.
Lorelei Adams Nov 2011
I bit my nails down to a nub
Am I a ghost? A long forgotten
Memory, eased into your backburner, well
Oiled with the sweat of my lust?

When may I emerge from the
Shadows and proclaim that my
Love may be silent, but
It screams so loud in my ears.

Hey, I am hurting here!
Can you put down your life for one
Moment and just sit and justfucking
Listento me?

Or perhaps the image of myself I held so dear is
Now a killer, destined for
Damnation along with all the other
Souls that murdered everything they touched.

I swear, I didn’t mean to.
But it all just crumpled in my
Hand like ashes and I tried to be delicate, but
I pressed too hard.

I wanted to know if it was alive.
I wanted to be sure that this
Love was real, and not just some
Plastic penny-box letter.

I cannot escape for you.
These bars bind me down and
These walls close me in No
Matter how much I runorrun
Or run into them they won’t
Budge.
Please, just this once?
Maybe, this time if I am strong enough they will
Move
And I will taste freedom

Please **** them
Every single one'a'em *******
I'm gunna shootemdead.
Gunna gunnemdown
We is gunna get ourselfs happy, fer once.
Issa great game, this "life" thing.
Varshini Mar 2016
We meet, I obsess
I wait for a text, end up barraging them with more
I overthink myself into a crazy stupor
The cycle continues on.

I tell myself to stop
It's one more thing for me to think about
It's one more situation to waste my time
The cycle pauses, then restarts again.

Everyone knows about it because I tell them
I stop myself with metaphorical duct tape
I rip it off and tell everyone anyway
The cycle has no ending once it has begun.

This is the mistake I constantly make
I feel clingy, even though I probably am not
(But I am, so it is fruitless)
The cycle rotates in the backburner, a solid reminder.

It’s not a crush, it’s just a shortlived fascination
I declare my love, as I do for countless others
Masochism is apparently inbuilt
The cycle goes on, an infinite loop of repeated thoughts.
Carl Hoek Jan 2014
Yell at the indignity of abscence and cringe in the shadows
All is lost upon the alters of discovery
We still cant feel a thing
The breaths are taken too far
We are too relaxed
Hair is too long
Eyes have too much light

The seldom perfect night is leaning towards reaccurance
And pulled over the eyes of the ones who can really see

We hallucinate and devote it to realism
We observe real truth and put it on the brain backburner
To be torn up and chewed into creative gold

28.6 years in the hole for innocence
Freedom for unending criminality
This is just throw up and dying fish

Dead air with angel wings
Blue hair and red eyes
Make everybit your suffering
Sleep when you're dead
Dream about *real life
Gemini Sep 2017
You look at me and see a beast, I look at you and see a beauty
Everything I want in a girl but too shy to have, so the excuse isn't that you're too good for me
Your life socically and academically and financially is night and day different compared to me
My life and the choices I've made so far are messed up, I just want a redo
And you seem like the kind of lady who has already begun building her empire, I have 2 sisters and a mother, so like 50 Shades I can thoroughly read you
You seem like the kind of girl who finished making young dumb decisions and stopped thinking of life as something to rapidly breeze through
And I can tell by your high price makeup collection once or twice in your life you've told a boy "I don't need you"
So here's the offer I propose
Give me some time to find myself and find my calling in this world even if it's to be writing prose
I'm not putting you on the backburner nor am I putting you on hold
Before I commit to you, I need to commit to myself
It's unfair for you to love me and i can't stand myself
So for now I'm putting our modern day beauty and the beast love story on a shelf
KG Jun 2023
My vision clouds before the moistureless concrete walls, a test ahould I prevail like time spent learning magick in divided cells of my past come to live again as a new beast roaring for attention.
It's what I deserve.
It's what I asked for atleast.
Grateful the opportunities granted plant an ideology of solve et coagulation though my spine protests the divine weight I traips when bearing.
Though my sight seeing detour detention center created of melted steel, cable, and drywall, I peer into an entrancing existence.
The soft soul that calls me her own, demonic armor left aside to accept mine own.
How ecstatic. This pain new to me, used to physically abusing myself to prove I could still feel meaning in the lonely traveled roads of a morally conscious bard , my stories I've lived and heard far across the winding winds.
Forgotten almost as easily, is it true I've ever lived before my dark angel of the mountains graced me with her presence? Left unchecked I stress the understood  importance of the natures violent growth.
I put the consequences on the backburner and found myself a partner.
Am I lucky, or a fool, or drunk on possibilites that I think are ******* cool?
All of the above and more, I'll pour my adoration forth a soul spring gushing rapid comfy, polar aspects mingle
Touching
Holding
Happy

— The End —