take me to bars we’ll try that ginger beer you told me about
in return I’ll introduce you to the softest corners of my mind
buy me a ticket to that R21 show about that man and the lady
in return I’ll tell you stories of how my life has been and lessons learnt
walk me to your car and we’ll go on late-night drives
in return I’ll be your companion and keeper of secrets
you lean over and fasten my seatbelt
finally found someone to be an older brother figure
then I remember
the last time I said someone was like a brother to me
and how that ended
I’m smiling so hard right now
at crude jokes and glow-in-the-dark bikinis
tonight you dream of you and me
in the club and you in the bikini
me with a moustache
promoting glow-in-the-dark bikinis and hair removing cream
your dream ends here and mine picks it up
so we’re in the club
you in the luminous bikini and me with the moustache
and it’s all fun and games until I lost you in the crowd
I wept and I wept
you see I’m so quick to fall on sadness
and so quick to call your name
then I remembered you were glowing in the dark
so I found my way back to you again
“hold on to my shirt ***** don’t get lost again”
I like you this night
it’s a stay up late with me kind of night
laughing at your silly stories kind of night
cats mating
and no caffeine boost kind of night
when someone takes you away
I will try and laugh it off
the same laugh
with which I respond to you calling me funny
I’m not funny
I’m only funny when you make me funny
hey, what’s she doing here
now we’re doing that cliche thing like in the movies
hey, don’t hold his hand if you’re just friends
please
please don’t leave
when you are taken away
I will try to gently let go of your shirt
you are one foot ahead and I have one foot in the grave
when we head into crowded places
tell me to wear the glow-in-the-dark bikini under my clothes
so you don’t lose me in the dark

A Moment in Life Twice Lost to Time
The Swiss watch is my paradigm
Residing now ‘neath Tampa Bay
A moment in life twice lost to time

The gift, from a wall of ice to climb
In Luxembourg where I did stay
The Swiss watch becomes my paradigm

Research belaying the banker's crime
Through valleys green, o'er bridges grey
A moment in life twice lost to time

While belching diesels share their grime
And church bells call all souls to pray
This watch, my truest paradigm

In this city from another time
In Europe's heart I found my way
A moment in life twice lost to time

Returning from this land sublime
My walls and battlements fell away
Rodania watch, my paradigm
A moment in life twice lost to time

2 March 2000

I can’t help but feel these four walls closing in
Once my sanctuary
Now only my prison
I can’t help but feel this air growing thick
Chocking on the tension that has hold a death grip
I was born restless
Always looking for ways out
With age, I’ve grown impatient
Being fed only by doubts
If I could hit the road now
I think sanity would be saved
But since I’m far from release
I’m preparing to finally cave
My best regards
To you and yours
I’ll be back someday
Carrying a newly lit torch
You can forget me if you need
When I at last return
I won’t be the same man you see
I've tried to be strong
I've played far too long
Don't be offended if I no longer give a **** when you think I am wrong
I've been looking for your encouragement
But it has been all too clear
Your selfishness is more important
I have to soldier on
I have to keep chin up
When the day is to come
Don't dare ever ask why I left
Let's see how loud I can be silent
If your eardrums aren't already busted
Let's see how bright I can vanish
Before you proclaim I'm acting out
Good riddance and goodnight
This is long overdue
Years from now I might wonder what has become of you
And smile

Instead of floating through, I choose
the gravity of my bitterness
of which I hold because it tastes
so comfortable.

Instead of releasing on
I choose to carry all my mistakes
(of which) I hold because
they remind me how to fight the strongest of wakes

Instead of fighting for I gave up on
I let you go and I discovered the simple truth:
I will never let you know.

and alone is desirable
and alone is reliable
you're memory dims my bright days
and sours the sweet taste of
all my success
as all I've worked for caves
and the darkest of days
I remind you, I never looked away
you were the one, I couldn't save.