Mar 8

Someone told me I was going to die today
A heart attack in the gym, better stay away
No way that's happening I've gotta go
Dying today, how could they know?

I workout every day precisely at noon
In a class full of women with really big boobs
They wear stretchy tight pants I try not to look
But the one in the blue, I bet she can cook

I run on the treadmill till I'm dripping with sweat
My heart feels fine, no sign of a threat
Then down to the floor yoga is really not fair
I thrust up and down like I'm humping the air

I hear giggles and laughter from the guy's behind
The girls in front are a little more kind
I feel really old when I stop to take a breath
But at this stage, I'm not concerned with imminent death

Then we do some planks to strengthen our core
While I stare at the clock hanging above the gym door
We're just about through it's coming to an end
Right about the time I get my second wind

But all I can think about is the end of my life
My kids and my dog, my wonderful wife
It was just a fleeting thought I wanted to scream
Until I left with the crowd, we went out for ice cream.

Yea, I got a message from a gym partner who said they dreamed I was going to die today during our workout.  Hahaha...I hope not.
#death   #humor   #gym  
Johnny Scarlotti
Johnny Scarlotti
Nov 14, 2016

go to sleep in back of car
in walmart parking lot
wake up
get 1 dollar large coffee from mcdonalds
what a deal
then I read
until 9
then drive to gym
to take shower
brush teeth

then somebody comes bursting through the curtain
with a hard on
aw, timmy
not again
I tell him
timmy, that was a one time thing
I’m not gay

he shakes his head, says
you’ve said that everyday
for the last 30 days

#gay   #sleep   #coffee   #hard   #on   #teeth   #mcdonalds   #gym   #bursting   #walmart  
Oct 10, 2016

The finality and profundity
with which you broke me
has hardened me;
I feel now I have nothing to fear.

Except I'm encased in a glass jar;
An invisible boundary neatly capping
how much I can let myself feel.

And the rims of this glass jar
are curved and heavy.

Aug 15, 2016

Doodle, and give weird answers
He'll leave you alone

Advice for anyone who has to take gym class next year.
It worked for me.
#haiku   #gym  
K-mari AJani Jones
K-mari AJani Jones
Jul 26, 2016

Need that for life
Got to do it
When you wanted to lose weight
In the gym
Have to work hard
for Workout to be done.

Why losing weight off ya body?
Because it called "workout"
And being healthy is good
But don't eat too much fry things
Cause it can damage your life
Strength and Personality.

Workout is healthy
Healthy is workout
So be healthy and exercising today.

        By K-mari ©2016

#poem   #poetry   #life   #personality   #gym   #healthy   #workout  
James Walker
James Walker
Mar 22, 2016

Click clack
the plates are
stacked again
do they always have to
drop them?
I understand
the need to feel
the drive to express the self
so day in
day out
the iron is pumped
the veins are filled with the
blood of men turned
warriors but they leave
warriors turned men

A day at work
#poem   #poetry   #life   #people   #gym   #fitness  
Feb 17, 2016

When you told me I was doing great for a woman my size, I passed you off and told myself that "compliment" had good intentions.
When you called me sweet cheeks I ignored you. A woman like me is used to men like you.
When you told me the stair master made my ass look bangin, I was both honored and appalled.  My ass may be my greatest feature but sexual comments have their place and the gym is not one of them.
When you asked me for my number, you were rude, acting in a way in which no gentleman should act. I told you no. And I meant no.
When you called me a whore loud enough for the whole gym to hear, you were only making yourself look bad.
When you came up and wrapped your arm around my shoulder and told me you were going to take me out for a good time on friday night, I was terrified and suddenly praying for a rape whistle.
When you insisted I promptly informed you I was lesbian, and to let you down gently, not my type.
When you called me a dyke I took no offense, that word has become meaningless. Then you told me it must be a phase, that I just hadn't been with a man like you. That you could change me.
When you said "hop on this dick dyke" I was done with your games. I pushed you aside and when you jerked my shoulder back you were the one to end up with their ass on the ground.
Dear namless man at the gym,
When you said you could help me through my phase, you were wrong. Being gay is not my phase. Being straight was.

#gay   #abuse   #rape   #guys   #lesbian   #phase   #gym  
Christina Cox
Christina Cox
Jan 27, 2016

I see the way you look at me
a fat girl wearing a crop top at the gym.
Your frown screams how dare you
and I'm sure your mind says it too.

The small girl walks in
with perfect hair and shorts barely there.
You will avert your eyes
to avoid the ugly in your gym.

But wait.

You didn't.

You walked over and smiled.
Said hi.
Gave me some advice
and moved on.

There are boys I know
from middle and high school;
I haven't seen in years.

I see them wonder at my clothes
while acknowledging me
with tiny pursed smiles.

There are women larger than I
they look at me with disgust
and I don't know why.

So many judgements
in a place where walls are mirrors
and sweat is a normal thing.

But do these people really feel
the way I think they do?

Because I look at them
and don't really care.

We're all just working out
in a gym
trying to become
who we want to be.

Nameless Wonder
Nameless Wonder
Jan 21, 2016

Something new has been creeping in amongst my peer groups.
They all seem to be hitting the gym,
Pumping iron
And walking around with those USN bottles
In which they put their idolised protein shakes.

It's obviously a new thing,
Something that I should partake in, right?
Because, you know,
I ought to conform.

It's not for me.
I look in the mirror and see
A skinny boy with a stomach that's sticking out a lil'.

I only think one thing,
I need a six pack urgently  :
But those bulging biceps?
No, unnecessary, if you ask me.
Maybe I'd like my calves to look more defined,
But what I'm seeing is too much time in the gym...
Or maybe some foul play involving the use of steroids.
I have been told by many that bodybuilding could stunt your growth,
And I plan on being able to dunk on a basketball court one day...
So,  I don't think I'd want to be built and short.

My annoying laughing fits are always triggered when my friends support their actions with, "Bra, chicks dig this."
Because being a bodybuilder surely wouldn't kill my shyness...
But if that's what they need to attract girls,
Then who am I to judge?
The guy who can't even ask a girl for the time...

XD (I really don't think I would... And I'm too lazy to dedicate so much time into something like that :/)

I guess I was tired of writing love poems and remembered hearing a friend of mine talking about "pumping iron" , so I wrote about my thoughts on working out :/
#teenager   #boys   #shy   #conform   #gym   #nameless   #bodybuilding  
Christina Cox
Christina Cox
Jan 14, 2016

Going to the gym
Seeing the me that I hate
In the mirror wall

#haiku   #gym   #workout  
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