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"The best way to be responsible is to be discipled."
- *
Sir Jan Abril
God cannot be explained
But He then, can be **experienced
Teamwork* makes a *dream works.
There's no reason for *isolation
I raise my white flag
A signal of surrender
The confession was at first hard for me,
Too hard for me
To let go of the things
That once became my false gods.

I went in front
I left the crowd
I don't care what they may say
I don't care if they judge me
But I know, Someone is calling me.

There, I found myself
With two hands raised to Heaven
I closed my eyes
And knelt to show humility.

The Spirit break out
I can feel His presence
His power took control of me.

I speak Your name
I was shouting over and over again
I can't control the voice in me
I felt that I was tore into two
It's my voice, but it's not me.

I cried out so loud
I can't control my tongue
I heard myself uttering foreignly
As if I'm alienated with a great power.

A new song was written in my heart
And my soul sing
I felt I had just escaped the dark
I saw the Light, even if my eyes are closed
There was a bright Cross in front of me.

Jesus, You then are King!
I love You!
Everything was fresh in me, I could even write and tell what happened in details. I really owe God for that great experience in my life. It was a "Boom," an experience that changed my life. It happened last year, October, when we had a National G12 Conference here in the Philippines.

I really felt how powerful the Holy Spirit is, and when He comes down, surely, everyone will feel Him. I actually don't know who the Holy Spirit was, but after that moment, I was totally.. ugh.. I don't know. But I really long for that kind of encounter. Even before, I had that "Holy Jealousy" with those who speaks in tongues or could feel the Holy Spirit. But really, it was the best moment in my entire life.

To tell you the truth, that altar call was for those who have ****** sins. I never heard to whom that call was for, but just what I've said I felt I should come and go in front. Ever since I was in Grade 5 (10 y/o that time), I had my habitual sin. Yeah, I did that thing of "*******." All the glory to God, that I have the courage to say it now. It took me years to be freed from that grip of Satan in me.

Okay, to make the story short: I already renounced it and again, thank You Jesus!

Well then, that was my first time to experience those works of the Holy Spirit in me. And since I'm human, many times I'm tempted to do the same sin. The truth is, many times I failed the Lord, but indeed at the end, it was His unconditional love that would break me into pieces and that would tell me, "Child, that's enough. Come to me."

I dunno what I'm actually saying right now, but all of these are due to what He has done to me. Right now, I just feel comforted by the Lord. I ain't perfect but He has chosen me to be His child. I love You Jesus, forgive me for the way I think earlier. In Jesus name, I claim forgiveness and hail You, Amen.
Tumibok ang puso ko
Hindi dahil sa may hinihinga pa
Ngunit bunsod sa kaba.

Tumayo ako't humakbang
Narating ko ang entablado;
Hindi ko lubos maisip
Na ito na ang pangalawang beses
Na tutuntong ako't haharap sa madla.

Isang pribilehiyo
Salamat sa grasya ng Panginoon.

Panimula ko'y winaksi na sa isipan
Bagkus ang bibig ay kusang niluluwalhati Siya
Maging ang pangwakas ay nakatuon lamang sa Kanya.

Ang buhay ko'y minsang naging sakal
Akala ko noon, kaya kong walang sinasandalan
Ngunit ako'y minsang naupo sa silya-elektrika
At tinawag na nasasakdal.

Isarado natin sa siyam na taon
Ako'y nasa rehas pa ng kadiliman
Na tanging sariling latay ang nasasaksihan
Kilala ko Siya na may lalang sa akin
Ang tingin nga lang ay ambulansya Siya:
Na 'pag kailanga'y, panay hikbi't nanlilimos ng grasya
Ngunit 'pag ayos ang lahat,
Iniiwan ang sarili't umiindayog sa dilim.

Sa siyam na taon
Ako'y binahiran ng itim na blusa
Akala ko'y hindi ko na matatakasan ang rehas;
Ang sekswal na kasalanang bumalot sa pagkatao
At naging mitsa nang paghinto ng nararapat na pagpapala.

Ngunit ang lahat pala'y kayang limutin ng Ama
At ang maling relasyo'y kinitil sa tamang panahon
Na ang pag-ibig ay magkaroon ng katuturan
At doon nalaman na 'pag para sa kapwa'y
Sunod lamang sa mas rurok
Ng saktong timpla ng pagmamahal.

Umaagos ang luha ko nang walang nakakakita
Ang puso'y hinihele ng Kanyang mga anghel
At ang Kanyang sakripisyo'y tagos sa kamoogan.

Hindi ko lubos na maintindihan noon ang pag-ibig Niya
Na kayang akayin ang buo kong pagkatao
At buburahin ang kamalian ng nakaraan
At maging ng ngayon at ng bukas.

Hindi ko alam kung saan paparoon
Kaya't pilit kong sinuot ang maling maskara noon
Ang puso'y mali rin ang naging direksyon
Maling galaw at mali ang naging layon.

Ibinaling ko ang lahat sa sariling persona
Nag-aral nang mabuti't hindi nalulong sa anumang droga
Maraming organisasyon ang kinabilangan
Sa pag-aakalang matatakpan ang bawat butas
At masisilayan lamang ang magandang antas ng sarili.

Sa madaling salita, binuo ko ang sarili kong pagkatao
At nalimot at nakaligtaan na may nag-iisa lamang na Manghuhulma
Ngunit salamat at naarok ko ang tamang landas
Na ang minsang batong sinantabi't itinapon
Ang siyang tutuwid sa baku-bako kong daan.

Hindi pala ako magiging masaya
Kung ang sentro ko'y ang aking sarili
At nang ako'y palayain Niya,
Masasabi kong ganap na ang aking pagkatao
Na nakilala ko ang sarili --
Kung sino ako't kung para kanino.

Wala na akong mahihiling pa
Mahirap man sa sansinukob na ito'y
Patuloy pa ring maghihitay sa Kanyang pagbabalik.

Hindi ko kinalilimutan ang mundo
Ang labindalawang disipolo na Kanyang regalo sa akin
Ang kanilang mga buhay na tangan ko hanggang sa huli
At hindi sapat na sumuko lamang
Hindi ko kaya, ngunit kaya Niya.

Ang pag-ibig ko sa pamilya ko'y hindi maaawat
May mga tanong sa isipan ngunit hindi ko ito ginising
Hindi ko abot ang Kanyang kaalaman
Kaya't inilapag at inihain na lamang sa Kanyang paanan.

Muli, hindi ko kayang mag-isa --
Mag-isang nag-aarok ng pansamantalang tagumpay
Ngunit ang paniniwalang may pag-asa pa
Ay patuloy ang pag-usbong gaya ng mga malalagong dahon;
Ang bawat kaluskos ay maririnig ng Ama
At ang pugad na kinatitirikan ko ngayo'y
Haplos ng Kanyang banal na mga kamay.

(6/28/14 @xirlleelang)

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