Have you ever stopped to think,
   if tomorrow never comes;
Will your family know you love them,
   when your last day here is done?

Do you fill your life with earthly things,
   or work your life away;
Thinking money, fame or fortune,
   will get you through each day?

There's not one thing up on this earth,
   even those things God has given;
You can take with you upon your walk,
   through those pearly gates of Heaven!

God placed those loved ones in your care,
   He thought you'd do your best;
Have you nurtured, taught and loved them all?
   If not you've failed His test!

Now love, you see, is not a word,
   to be thrown at them each night;
But wrap them up many times each day,
   and forever hold on tight!

When you're angry, mad or hateful,
   thoughts floating in your head;
Don't say those words you're thinking now,
   but go to God instead!

Just show your family often,
   hug and hold them every day-
How much you love each one of them,
   then together kneel and pray!

Just ask My Lord, whose on His throne,
   to guide you from above;
He'll lead you family day by day,
   and fill you with true love!

Then follow God's example,
   and when your laid to rest;
Your love won't be in question,
   then yes, you'll pass His test!

It's almost as if you think I wanted it this way
That I wanted to be the reaper, blotting out your rays
I ask you, take a walk with me, and see the other side
The feelings that I'd been running from I sought no more to hide

I'm sorry that I hurt you for that was not my plan
I merely wanted to be right with you, let you know where I am
How could I tell you Truth in absence of being so blunt?
These past weeks were not to play; the feelings were no stunt

I'm sorry that you hate me now, and that your blood boils hot
I'm sorry I thought I knew who I was, only to find that I was not
I'm sorry you gave so much to me, you should have kept it all
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, to catch you when you fall

But do not take this as a hope that you will take me back
I've moved from wanting to be tied to you to wanting more than slack
I don't curse our past for you have shown me a different part of life
I wish my words read out as words, and not whispers of mocking strife

I wish that I could be there, to help you change your mind
But what I've done is better, don't drop me another line
You should forget me, and all the pain I've caused you
Remember what it means to love when eventually you love anew.

I'm trying to remember
The words my father wrote.

He was a poet, in earlier days.
When he lived my lifetime once,
(Now he's lived it three-or-so times over.)

And I remember one day finding the words he wrote,
Photocopied onto bright white paper.

And it was then that I first realized how much I am like my father.

His words then held just as much as my words do now--

As much love,
As much anger,
As much confusion,
And, at times, as much hate.

And now that I feel lost and alone, I try to dig up the pages
That were haphazardly tucked in-between the leafs of a novel, I think

Or maybe an atlas,
Or maybe in a drawer,
Or maybe under the bed...

Behind the bookshelf?
In a photo album?
In a book
Any book
In the kitchen
Above the fridge
In a box
This box
Not this box
That box
Not that box
Any box,
Try any box,
Every box --


Which brings me to now.

Now I sit here, on the kitchen floor
Stirring my lukewarm chamomile,
Watching the air,
And the clock,
Breathing deeply through my mouth,
Holding back any sound

Searching through my head
To remember the words he wrote
Long ago
That somehow might make me feel my father's comforting smile
Now.

It is funny how when I say daddy
a smile often spreads forth on my lips
it may be because of the ‘dy’ at the end of daddy
or because I loved you so much

Smiling always reminds me
of how many times yours beckoned to me
you lit up the room with your jokes
and turned a house into a home

Home is no longer home without you
you have been gone too long now
you should be a memory to us now
but you remain the backbone of what you left

You held us close with your loving arms
simplicity was your best suit
yet love was your weakness
for you granted it to us without restraint

The simplicity in our home
is now lost to an empty place
a place you once filled in our hearts
dear daddy.