I write about you

A lot now

A lot more

Than I probably should

But my thoughts of you

Submerge me

Into an ocean



Of warmth

The Moon is yellow tonight. Perhaps from the grey clouds that blenket half of her fragile countenance. Perhaps fromt he fear that the gravitational pull that radiates from the earth may break. But it's probably result of the reflected birth of the Sun. She probably misses the dear Sun with every ton of her being. The Sun fills every crater with warmth. He makes her feel new. He holds her in his light, keeping her safe always. The Moon calls herself "just the moon", though. And much to her protests, the Sun continues to present her in the brightest yellow light every time she's full. He shows off God's creation to the universe. He makes her feel special. He makes her feel beautiful.

Slip your fingers

Down the throat of your coat

Carry your confidence on your sleeve.

Hush the voice that is telling you

Tearing your ears to shreds

Of long forgotten cups of milk

And saucers of Mac and Cheese.



Carry your compassion on your chest

Like a badge of courage

In the world of history and ecclectic memories

Of warded off demons

And tired mothers.

Carry your pride

Under your shoe soles

Let it hide under there for a few months



So that the devil can't find you.

It's the kind of thing

That catches in your throat

Right before you are asked to speak.



It's the kind of thing

That stops your breathing

Right in its tracks, stone cold.



It's the kind of thing

That has your heart pumping

Gallons a second.



It's the kind of thing

That I find my brain yelling



"NO" about.

You’re in my veins now,

You dumb, dumb boy



From the moment we first touched

No, maybe it wasn’t the first time



It was probably the first time you touched my heart

Through our fingertips



Bad noise reverberating through our

Struggling ear canals



Bouncing against our agitated skulls,

The last inkling of the night flushing our cheeks



You’re in my veins now,

You pump through my system, past my heart



You swim under my fingernails,

Crusted with day old paints



My smile finds its home

When your name sounds



Honestly, I’m stuck

And I hope you know that



Because you’re in my veins now,



And there’s nothing I can do about it

You had me at hello

Your curiosity held me close

Your fall-out caressed my skin



Your availability took my breath away

I still taste

The wax of your ChapStick

I still smell

The fresh shampoo

I still feel

Your hands on my hips

Pulling me tighter

As we join lips

Accompanied by

The smell of grass

And you.



Serenades by

The sound of sierens

and your breathing.



The warmth of your skin

touching mine.



Our lips joined

By a string of calm.


Our sighs

Could cause riots.



Unforgettable
"I love you"s

Don't bother me

Anymore.



Eyes closed,

Shivers shared between us,

There is no voice...



...except the occasional giggle.

"Love" is the tide.

We are simply parts of

The shore.

Our hearts are grains of

Sand, collected and becoming

A shared entity.

“Love” is the tide.

We lie around waiting,

Waiting,

Waiting

For the waves to take us

Over.

Waiting

For the salt to kiss our lips,

But the taste lingers a

Lifetime.

When the tide gets high,

That’s when we lose ourselves.

We drown in the salt and

Sea plants. The weeds

Wrap around our lungs

And take our oxygen.

The ocean conjures up

A storm of

Stinging eyes and

Dry-heaving.

“Love” is the tide.

We long for it to sweep

Over us—

To consume us. Waiting,

Waiting,

Waiting

For the breeze to push it our way.



But humans don’t

Have gills.

We can’t breathe beneath

Masses of H20.



So we drown within

It. Blanketed in the waves.





A.R.

Pressing my skin tightly,

Wrapping cold, short fingers around my edges,

My middle,

Wondering,

Waiting,

Images echoing out of my lips and

Into my ears.



“Stop doing this to yourself”,

“I can’t,

I don’t know how”.



Glass

After glass

Of water and tea,

Hopes as thin as the substances

I religiously put inside me.



Trust wearing down,

I’m stuck between two alternates,

One better than the other,



I know what my choice would be.

I gave up that choice

When I let myself go.


Started off lucky,

Never thought I’d face something like this,

At least not at 18.



I’m clutching my sides,

Staring at the space between them,

Trying to make a decision.


The decision is no longer mine,

I’m stuck until the judgment is

Finally placed.





God, help me.