I'm having thoughts
of grandiose things.
Pain filled lives always
sing for less rain
Your body comes and goes
Used up like a vacant hole
There are so many cigarette
butts lying around
Polluting the ground,
like you did to my mind
I'm trying to remember
the light and
asking myself,
"was it always this bright?"
It always seems like nothing
matters to you -
and I guess you're right
Right now it seems like
all you want to do is
fight.

You've done it again // made me feel like this was the // beginning // when really it was just the // end // I've done it again // cried // over the things that youve said // that are  constantly breaking my heart

And I want to tell her that I understand
what it feels like to be fake, insignificant,
and a shadow on the sidewalk of society.

And I want to tell her that I also borrow
the experiences of others --
that I, too, learn feelings
by stopping and staring at personal wreckage,
like a tourist of emotions,
like an inevitable wish of a human being.

I don't know why I do this to myself
Get myself so worked up that I can't function

I don't know why I do this to myself
Get so bent out of shape that I can't think straight

I don't know why I do this to myself
Get so attached to things that I know will never stay

I don't know why I'm here
When I can't even do anything right

monday @ 2.30 a.m*
my eyes are bloodshot and my words are slurred.

tuesday @ 4.50 p.m
do you remember how our bodies used to fit whenever we slept?

wednesday @ 8.00 p.m
I was so close to calling you, but the thought of actually having to tell you how I feel terrifies the **** outta me.

thursday @ 12.37 a.m
you just texted me back and I don't know the words to say to make you stay.

friday @ 11.05 p.m
i could've seen you tonight but instead im sitting in bed crying over the stupid things you once said.

saturday @ 1:25 p.m
i think it's time i forgot you...

sunday @ 6:37 a.m
i can't forget you...no matter what i do. i can't my mind off of you. it's sad, but true