Childhood innocence
Endless imagination and
Enchanted memories
Never stop to think about
Impermanence
Several years later those same warm eyes
Holding hands and
Laughing and
A breath of cigarette smoke

I want to smoke my lungs to ash
I want to scream and open up my ******* veins
I want to bleed and know that this will be the last time
And as the life leaves my body
I’ll sigh and hope you’re okay
It never was your fault anyway

oh lord how she is grace and beauty

oh devil how he is strong and tender

she is the water and the sky

he is the fire and the ground

her smoothness softness valleys and rolling hills caressed by the moon

his roughness sharpness ridges and hard lines forged in the sun
she is my calm my love my shelter

he is my excitement my passion my adventure

she takes me down slow and enfolds me in her gentle soothing light

he brings me up higher higher riding a wave of fire through the night

oh lord how she is soft and lovely

oh devil how he is vibrant and invincible

To be quite honest this
Concept is strange to
Me I'm just
Myself but
To others my
Mind is abnormal
I ponder things other
Couldn't care less about
I understand concepts most
People ignore
And yet
I feel stupid quite often
Much of my mind is unexplored
I daren't venture into the
Cavernous chambers of
Scorn I have for myself and
Those who aren't intelligent because
Who am I to think myself
Superior to anyone?

High expectations
So many limitations
Is there any way to go
When my mind is always racing
I'm chasing a life I was not born into
Statistically one I'll never achieve
Chest heaving
Hands shaking
I've got to get out of my head
These thoughts of my mortality
Will be what makes my end

The day I met Ana
Is the day I died.
They day I met Ana
I thought I would survive.
20 pounds to go.
To look like a pro
Ten pounds to go
Are my bones starting to show.
500 the first
400 the next
The calories went down like the fat on my chest.
I started to feel dizzy.
Empty inside.
I started to feel happy
Thinner with more pride.
One bone here.
Another bone there.
My heart was stopping.
It couldn't be more clear.
But Ana loves me.
She'll never stray.
No matter how many go,
I know she's here to stay.
It might cost me health.
It might cost me my life.
But id rather die than be fat.
Skinny is my dream tonight.

My darling girl

You're not happy with yourself,
It begins to affect your mental health

My darling girl

You lose weight ******* and then your concert tees don't fit anymore

My darling girl

You say that you want to heal
But how then? If you cannot feel.

My darling girl

I have nothing left to fear
For you my dear, a silent tear.