I.

Life is crazy
In the sense that we can find love over and over
In the sense that we lose life in a matter of seconds
We arguing about money we don’t really need
While others are suffering from a lack of accessibility
My teacher taught me with enough detail you can recreate the sensation of when you first sink into an apple and it’s juices burst from within.
Beautiful and sweet,
Sometimes when they’re so ripe you can feel it tingle in your cheeks.
Chunks of delicious fruit being minced by my teeth.
Just like back in the day,
sitting in class in front of fresh apple slices and a side of peanut butter.
It was so simple then,
but now we all feel a little weighed down by the pressure from life’s various complications.
Responsibilities passed down from our parents
meant intentionally or not.
Dangers of our environment,
brothers and sisters losing their ability to hold their mothers.
Worry some how much my children might see when I’m gone.
rainbows and sunshine
some things from my childhood that still enlightens me.
A rarity and reminder that the sun will shine again tomorrow.
Let me borrow your light when I’m lost in my dark spaces.
Tracing my fingertips against the rough rocky walls,
looking for a way out,
looking for signs of life.
A slight glimmer.
Look there in the distance how it glimmers.
Bring me back when I’ve lost my way.
Illuminate my eyes as if I’m being graced by the dawns first light.
My friends seem to guide me the same,
on days I hadn’t even realized I had been locked within my own temple too long,
scheming on the outcome of this trial.
Back and forth, pacing in haste as I worry in a perpetual way,
where the hell I belong in a world like this?

II.

Look me in my eyes.
Heavily brown
Welling up
Deep blue swimming pools.
I get lost in and forget how to swim
Head under water
Suffocating over thoughts of you.
I give too much to you.
All this love for you.
Unrequited
Or maybe just misunderstood
Her eyes just like mine
But darkened with time
Very rare that she smiles
Delicate calloused hands
Long days and longer nights
Working for everybody but the girl in the mirror
I know it may look like there’s no end in sight
But when you focus on you and only you
There’s no doubt in my mind you’ll find the joy you lost
Scary thing,
When money becomes the most important
And everything else is out of focus.
Just going thru the motions.
Wishing you could turn back the hands of time.
III.

It’s harder to believe in love once you grow up
Our perspectives change drastically depending upon what it is that we see.
Not many people have what we used to call “traditional” families
And yet end up having the most compassionate and caring of hearts.
I’ve always put so much into others,
My mother taught me that,
It’s scary to think how a like we are at times.
She also taught me that you must care for yourself
Because no one has the obligation to care for you.
Just love those who love you
Because they are a rare treasure.
Metaphorically tethered to each other’s hearts
Look how easily people become important parts of each other’s lives
Sadly we can just as easily watch as they fade
Life is complicated, we all come and go with the seasons
The same way we may meet a soul that may make an impact for whatever reason
Pick your encounters, and learn from them
Always strive to be a better you
And want to understand and love yourself better too
Because if you don’t who will?
I tell you for a fact that’s real!
It takes a “real one” to understand how I feel
But I’ve stopped looking, I’m just living and having fun
Just looking forward to more days like this basking in the sun
and writing stories in the moonlight
Occasionally taking my pencil as my pilot
Just to test the heights of how far my imagination could reach
Hot on my trail, follow me into infinity
I want you to see in clarity everything I can see
In the hopes I can relay this message perfectly
Give it your all
No shame if you fall
How can you stand tall?
If you don’t answer the call.

To whom it may concern:
thank you for your influence,
grateful to be your pupil
for your insight shed new light as to how to perceive the world.
As history carries along,
I'll reference back through the lessons
and pass them forward when it's needed.
You've succeeded in making a genuine connection,
I can only imagine your mentor did the same for you.
A metaphorical web you've spun to intrigue the mind.
Enriching mine.
Struggling to break free of the concept because I couldn't yet understand it.
Thank you for taking your time.
Taught me to deconstruct the process
and check my work then repeat.
Better safe than sorry,
talking bout I grew up on this show,
how'd I end up on stage with Maury?
Best friends one day, the next you're strangers,
nothing last forever is a phrase that's powerful in every language.
C'est la vie. That's life, C'est la vie!
Sometimes you'll find strife
or something you don't like and be forced to embrace it.
Heart racing, you're nervous but you've got to face it.
Please believe,
Once you live it, you'll learn from it.
Practice takes patience,
a lesson learned now I own it.
At times you may see something you like
and got to go chase it.
Have the confidence to take it,
anything you scheme up is feasible, believe it.
Anything you set your mind to,
you can achieve it,
as long as you work for it.
Just a few lessons from precious teachers,
whether they were licensed to do so or not,
thank you for your influence.
A Humble Student

I have this love for writing on this thing.
no mess on it
just flow
as the director intended so
another production of Desire Enterprises
lacking the basic exercises
but what’s a better time than now
because as I’m sure I’ve said before
“Practice takes patience
and patience takes practice”
no hesitation brother you’ve just got to attack it
so once again let me introduce myself to this
sweet sweet addiction.
Usually barricaded  
by the walls of my mind
see lately I’ve been learning to evade them
been taught to look beyond them four walls
for what I believe may contain my train of thought
so I’ll reach new horizons
I’ve learned the many ramifications of living within my comfort zone
and know nothing of the boundaries outside it
like standing up on stage and presenting my craft
no strength in my foundation like I’m about to collapse
freaking out remembering Rigley’s reminder to get a grip
even when you feel like you’re about to slip, take a breath
Speak each word carefully, Make ‘em feel each one you spit
Lord willing I’ll do just that, shoveling up little nuggets of gold
I’ve got people thinking, well **** the little brother’s got soul
I’m like nah, I’ve just been breaking the mold
back in the day they used to clown me for acting “real different”
black kid in a primarily white school, it could’ve been real different
but couldn’t help feeling out of place
now a days, I take it all at a steady place
growing up is a process man,
felt like I was lagging behind, but there is so much more left to see
I mean look at all the places, people, twists and turns we encounter
life is such a blessing, how the hell could I not enjoy it?
**** that, better believe I’m gonna embrace all that I is.
Be You, Be You, Be You
man that’s all you’ve gotta do.
Another amazing star amongst the many, shining bright in our universe.
Shine with me, we can only get better.
Don’t you ever falter, make your presence felt.
Make the best of the cards that you’re dealt.
because before you know it, you’ve reached the end of a verse.
Page, Chapter, Story or whatever you prefer…
The end may **** sometimes
but it opens up opportunities for new beginnings
That was sudden but it made you think didn’t it?
I live for this connection.
because if I kept you reading, I intrigued you.
it seems you can be reached, it seems I just like to breach into the temples of the mind
like old lectures from old teachers about how we wasting precious time
or how the future round the corner and its time to shape up
stop pushing snooze on the button homeboy its time to wake up
yeah, it be nostalgic on those hazy days
once and a while its okay to have them lazy days
but never stunt the progression of your growth
reminder of the sacrifices made to keep you safe
continue to share these these “little nuggets” that you make
and let the world relate.

…

Life is funny in all honesty

Human interactions always astonished me,
the simple capability of being able to allow individuals
to share each other’s thoughts is amazing.
Our very image can be viewed differently by a matter of words.
You can feel the most endearing warmth from simple contact alone,
in many cases, only if it’s the right one.
In others’ cases, it could be the touch of anyone
that reminds you, you are not alone.
I swear I’m in my zone,
writing is a constant love I just can’t leave her alone
So many love letters trapped within my phone.
Lay it all over your skin,
each letter a kin to the grand production
Thank you for your patience,
because it’s given life to works of art
that I could not have foreseen before but now I embrace it.
My heart races whenever my body remembers the sensation.
I mean contemplate it,
my pen bleeds to breathe life into a new creation.

Alleviation of the troubled mind,
trying to adopt and grow with time
and this forever evolving world
I have to let my faith grab the reigns
and overpower any fear that will breed doubts into my mind.
Positivity my only energy,
even when I’m low,
I throw myself into bodies of work like this to get high.
Don’t ask me why,
but often I look at the sky
and believe that even I can surpass the limits.

It’s hard to need something you been wasting
time is everlasting but how much you got left?
worried about when my loved ones will expire
in fear I didn’t show then enough love and appreciation
chasing females like they’ve got all the answers
but I know I need the “right one”
keep my mind as sharp as the edge of the blade
keep me straight to the path of greatness
truth be told though,
I’ve got to stop looking for the answers in others
draw my own pocket aces
be my own secret weapon
like baby, maybe you missing something. (HA)
need to be an example to the ones coming up
possibly why I’ve been so quiet lately,
got old friends inquiring on my whereabouts
always had been the socialite,
last few years I’ve been more like a hermit
off on an island like I’m Roshi!
had to stay low-key, too much on the mind
drifting in crystal clear waters reflecting the distant clouds
bathing in the sun, meditating on all I’ve seen
of all that exists in the world
all creatures above and underneath me
find a way to live harmoniously,
the circle of life filled with beauty and strife
this little rock holds glorious wonders
and pain often unbearable
mothers across the world mourning over lost sons and daughters
whether it be the color of skin
or which god you place your faith in.
Our diversity should be the last thing destroying our global society.
Just playing my part as I see fit,
A piece of mind, longing for a peace of mind.
All the while, worrying I’m wasting my precious time.
Lost in a trance, weathering the storm of thoughts that rages on viciously.
Each strike of thunder ignites the flow of spilled ink shaping itself onto this canvas.
When the rain stops, I gaze upon the results.

© James Desire 2015

Another day,
another scribble on the page of life
why not make it extraordinary?
Leave your mark
like you were leaving ink splats all over the canvas
magnificent arrays of colors contrast and intervene
within the scene.
Resulting in a more vibrant display of life.
Strife exists each and everyday
and beauty has always coexisted beside it
It's resisted so much longer than us
and we bask in its radiance much more often than we realize
so through all the pain of life's crucible remember,
to be as daring as you were the day before
if not more so, make an impact.
Shine brightly, so that everyone can see.
It's just one of the things that makes this life worth it.

What you worth really?
I mean only you can tell me,
because the only thing that can limit you is yourself
anything you set your mind to can be achieved
you just need to believe, and then back that up with the work
talk is cheap, unless you give it the support it needs.
make your words an extension of yourself,
as if they were arms and legs that can help lift another up
whenever you happened to let them roll off your tongue.
I used to have dreams I'd light up stages,
now I just want to light up the diminished flames in your hearts that you hold dear.
If not today,
maybe tomorrow I can convince you
each day is a new day to craft a better you.
Take a look in the mirror,
reflect in who it is you've become and what you've get left to do.

So much strife in this life,
so much beauty too.

"Oh, I've finally got you right here
Tonight I'll ease your mind,
That's why I'm calling on you
and ooh,
soft your love's desire
it's hard to stay away
you keep me calling on you"

I could walk upon these words again and again
maybe that flew over your heads,
that was the bridge my friends
and after all this time he probably thought he was dead and forgotten
but listen here that "ooh"
of a crooner that simply learned it from you
resuscitated a gem from the archive just to prove
that your song made an impact.
Not just the sample but the words themselves live on in a tribute to you
and I was just one of those kids who loved those songs about love
you know because I'd imagine I'm the one singing to her like:

"baby you,
my darling only if you knew
these things that you do
when your simply smiling for me
but even more you
bring illumination to my days
when the skies aren't the right hue of blue
like the blessing of the sun's rays
after it's rained a few days
you, always seem to pick up my mood,
and I can do nothing but thank you
and show you how much you mean to me".

Just a few lines to describe a groove
a song to hold her tight and slow dance to
maybe a light a fire, just romance boo
because when the chorus comes around
I'll be all up in your ear like,

"Oh, I've finally got you right here
Tonight I'll ease your mind,
That's why I'm calling on you
and ooh,soft your love's desire
it's hard to stay away
you keep me calling on you"

~Just Another Reason To Adore The Art~
[Inspired by the music of Jon B.'s: "Calling On You" and Drake's: "Cameras/Good Ones Go Interlude"]

Written By: James Desire

What A Life

I do the things I shouldn't do

to say I did and have "gained a lesson" from it

when in reality I'm just trying to prove

that what's usually the "right way" is not always for everybody

foolish child you look for a glimpse of chance

where countless fools before you had as well

I just thought that maybe I,

with all that I've said and proclaimed about love,

with my ideals and my upbringing to the melodies of R&B;

that helped ease me into sleep

and induce dreams in which I would finally find the courage to have my voice heard,

serenading to lost queens about their substantial worth and beauty...

man I just thought that I could've had it different

but don't we all...

well if anything its a constant reminder that the world can be cruel

but theres a lot you'll see thats breathtakingly beautiful

like hearing another brother of ours has been slain by none other than his own kin

funny isn't it?

that as the most advanced lifeforms (that we know of anyway)

that we hinder ourselves more than anything

with all the potential dangers that could arise from day to day

we on top of that are a danger to ourselves and others

not all of us of course

but enough that its publicized and causes riots in the streets

and with good reason too.

I'm more impressed by the passion presented by the ones on their feet

fighting and making a stand about something they know is wrong

exactly the kind of action we need more of

it simply saddens me because I believed we were past all the racism

and just when you start to question the direction of the path we all seem to be taking

you are blessed with a moment of pure gratitude

and someone who works at Starbucks is willing to pay for your drink,

even when you have the money to pay

she simply said, “you’re a nice guy and I probably wasn’t going to use this free drink anyway”

hugs and a tip for the girl who only wanted to make my day a little better

and it’s something we don’t have enough of

people who are genuinely nice

like honestly what does it cost you?

I like to look at myself from afar in this grand scheme called life

and sometimes lose the importance of my existence

making too much of a big deal of what’s to come

wanting not to miss out on it all…

Just tell me I can win this thing

and leave my loved ones with memories of my laugh,

my smile and words

because they are what I am made of


product of my environment,
I am clearly blessed.

To Whom It May Concern
It’s  been a long time old friend,
it’s really nice to see you again
Unfortunately, we seem to have lost touch to the connection.
Throw my hands into the sky in the hopes that I,
I just might feel something.
Unfortunately, I’ve been grasping at air.
Reaching for that tear in fabric, tragic, they claim it doesn’t exist.
Somewhere along the line they must’ve missed the point
foolish, they make the kid seem ghoulish
see the ideas of my mind must be confusing
they must seem threatening to intimidate the likes of those who find me obscene
like outrageous, this train of thought must be detained
before contaminating the numerous brains that control the reigns
nothing but toxic fumes that do nothing but loom in the atmosphere
often I wonder exactly how I ended up in this place
at a young age I believed I wanted fame
and have beautiful women chant my name
but as more time passes I’ve learned
I just want to give people a good reason to remember my name
Legacy
even now that word resonates through me
I ask what will remain even after I fade?
will anyone remember the effort I made?
I just want to leave an impact on those who are willing to hear
and touch the minds of those who believe they’re misunderstood
to those who understand this fear
as paralyzing as it may seem
it often brings a sliver of rejuvenating truth
even when you start to sweat
and even though your hands may quake
remember that at the end,
you’ve given your words a pulse.

(Performance Extras)
[Clear]
Breathe.
[Clear]
In time it will come with ease.
[Clear]
All you need to do is speak!

Thank You!

Lost
More than ever
6 am on a Tuesday

Asking,
where do I go?
I guess this is what you meant, huh Ana?
I’ve got to work on myself before anyone else
But I’m prone to denial and procrastination
it’s a cycle for real
Life keeps getting too real
Had a convo with my pops a few hours ago
and now the kid isn’t sure how to feel
wanting nothing but to fulfill their wish
but have no idea about where to start
too busy fooling myself that we live in
“Never Never Land”
The kid ain’t ready to grow up
Peter Pan, Peter Pan
I’ve said it before,
You’re the man!
I’m forever scuffing with my shadow
in the hopes that my present will alter from my past mistakes
but you aren’t worried about a thing huh?
Just that ***** hook and the wild boys
but in my reality,
I’m surrounded
Conflicted,
not like the one who probably forgot
something I’ll never forget
that night I spent time to write all the lines
from my mind that I thought described you
Shoutout to Lana Lang,
I really hope that man right for you.
And don’t worry you don't cross my mind too much
Words are never exchanged
so I thought maybe here you’d listen again
Fool,
remember the one rule:
Let it be…
I apologize for the lack of focus
It’s been a while I suppose.
Since I’ve called ******* on myself.
I mean what the **** am I doing?
what happened to the mentality that those teachers instilled in you
Yeah you’re ****** at the outcome of UMD
but you were supposed to dig your way out of that hole
make the comeback that was expected of you.
it’s like you’ve forgotten all of those lectures from the likes of
Rigley, Jones, Bent and Weatherhead
you’re destined for more
if you don’t believe it you’ll never achieve it
and further more,
if you don’t apply yourself you’ll never see results.
Even Ms. Sanchez said a few words that stunned you
like, “it’s just funny because I bet you procrastinate as well”
lead by example
like how you gon’ preach something you don’t practice
she’s plenty right.
disappointing right?
the fact that you keep trying to keep people from falling apart
when you are the one in fact who keeps breaking down
but they’ll never know
because you believe its not important
and you let it sit on the back burner
till it consumes you like this…
I guess this is my role.
walking down this solitary road
like I’ve nowhere else to go.

I’ll never expect a soul to understand
pen in hand,
sleepless nights in never land.

I just want to be
Successful
she asks,
"what does that mean to you?"
I say,
"it means that I will do anything to make a difference...
be it through my words or actions."
one in the same
meaning never lacking
this will bring me true satisfaction.

We want what's best for the future,
or at least we should right?
Remember to always care for yourself
and take the time to care for another
because in this world of ours,
we really should care for each other.
For example,
Our pledge of Allegiance declares,
"We are One nation,
Under God".
Yet we let our differences separate us.
like we all know 9/11 was a tragedy,
but to point fingers at the innocent
don't make sense.
but what does anymore right?
like the debt we receive to acquire
a higher education
and our country promotes it
like that's just the motion.

I'm just scheming and dreaming for a future that ain't so sure
I guess I think if I speak up more,
someone will eventually hear me.

When your nothing to nobody
and you just want to be something to somebody

Same intro as before but please bare with me…
You see that moment was enough
If only you knew where my mind was prior to yesterday
It’d surprise you I swear
The demons I've kept in captivity as we laughed and sang
Even I forgot they existed for a moment
Sitting above the clouds
Cruising in my ride
A beautiful girl at my side
Her smile was everything
Her silly *** ad-libin’
But it was natural and simple
It felt so rejuvenating
and of course thoughts ran close to the borders of NSFW
As quick as when I stepped into her home
And had a chance to admire her **** physique
and how good her **** looked
on her slim little frame
Ravishing señorita
She knows I’ve got my eye on her
like something I desire
But time is critical to a matter such as this
A coin flips and like a hit switch
The light fades
Darkness reigns
And she can’t seem to take control of the thoughts that rage
Lately, I’ve known the feeling
I guess this is why I stay late and write rhymes such as this
And I love the influence you bring indeed
But I will always be respectful to what you need.
I just hope that she sees
What I’m saying ain't’t the same
Blunt or not
Today I was satisfied
Knowing I made her smile
and the only thing that would’ve made it better
is if I was singing those words into her ear as we danced
and our bodies intertwined like a moth to the flame
as the music consumed us…

Because there’s nothing like feeling wanted
When you’re told you’re worthless
By the same people you call family
Or when the friends you defend
Have you feeling ashamed
For calling them exactly that
A friend
but lately,
History is all that chains us
But like Ksan say,
It might be time to cut them off
And it hurts more because we’re supposed to be brothers
But that doesn't seem to matter to all of us…
I apologize if that’s none of your concern
I wouldn't want to waste breath on something you fail to care about
Don’t mind tho,
I’m forever the lonely poet
Trying to gather an audience of peers
To hear me speak
because I figure maybe its what they seek
I’m just searching for the ones that these words may reach
as they read this speech
and realize
that in life,
there is always more than meets the eye.

(A freestyle off of Revenge of the Dreamers / J-Cole)

Lost in a world
of a word
or a combination of which entrances me
onto rants such as this
Do you understand the feeling?
losing yourself in the rhythm
and imitating or recreating your favorite song,
in your vision?
What’s amazing is, what a large world this is…
and how much of it truly influences the music we hear
I mean, I can use my memory to remind me of her beauty
or instead I can bring together the words that will explain to you
how every morning the sun’s rays ever so lightly kisses her face
just to compliment the amazing glow that only amplifies the radiance of her smile
and her warmth,
is a treasure to be cherished as I do
Everyday, the sweet serenades of “sunday morning” remind me of you.
and how my lips graze and embrace her skin,
often I simply allow them drag carelessly along her valley of silky smoothness
as my tongue sends chills thru her spine
just to hover above her ear and remind her that she’s mine
this love is divine,
but something this great takes time
patience — most aspects of life ask of it
and these words let me pace it out
mediation for the mind
for the days where my eyes may glaze over a shade of red
and things don’t seem so easy
I let the creativity flow thru me
as history and THC embed my bloodstream
focused but my mind races
past the similes and metaphors that lay hidden in the borders of the margin
and the bridge echoes,
“Can you feel the buzz?”
my body trembles to the beat
I end up singing along…
“Do you believe in love?
What’s your drug?,
What’s your drug?”
as the smoke escapes my lungs and lingers in the atmosphere
I allow the meaning of the words to sink in
Can I get you to understand?
how the music inspires me to speak
on what it is that I care for or desire
from the need of perfection I feel once the idea is bred,
to the hours of lost sleep trying to avoid the clutches of defeat
when it comes to end,
I feel complete
as if these words fulfill my wishes
to bring back a little substance to our lives.
Although to some, I know this is simply nonsense
well then,  let me try to make it make sense
this time spent has been for my love of music
then simply writing off its influence,
poetry, more than just an art form
I’m just trying to reach your mind and touch your heart
Because you and I can’t be that far apart?
We live in this world together don’t we?
This is the human experience
It's in our nature, let’s connect.
Let’s spread peace and love throughout the land
with a little positivity and encouragement
vibe with me to the beat,
Tell me what it is that you seek,
Do you believe in love?

Welcome to my escape from reality…
A mirror to my soul,
My never-never land,
Understand?

A dream to write the words that whole world sing
or preach rather
in the hopes that maybe it’ll mean something when I’m gone…
my worst fear is wondering if this even matter when I’m gone
because the world’s being pulled by the influence of technology
and I’m hoping we don’t lose the basics in the process.

Excuse me miss,
May I tempt you with a verse?

and the contents of this book belong to,
the one and only…

James Desire

A clean slate on the date of January 26th
and I can’t believe it ended up like this
I mean how rap has become the nominator
and R&B; seems to have lost it’s appeal
what happened to the smooth seduction of the voice
From an introduction,
to the core of one’s soul
every note and rhythm makes us crave more…
and what happened to the women who believe in love
and the making of which could be so passionate,
You see all that’s needed is the right mood.
Don’t mean to intrude, but check out tracks 8 & 9 of Usher’s Confessions
That’s superstar and its interlude
and with a flow like woah
I make nonsense bring clarity
sincerely reaching into the inner depths of your mind
or even for some, their soul, just to let them know
We share something in common.
See what I’ve done is make a possibility for a connection
I long to bring a bit of understanding…
Between the few souls that float along with us on this rock called Earth.

Truly Yours,
James Desire

When your nothing to nobody and you just want to be something to somebody

I wanna be like
Life ain't fair
But you see that ain't rare
And my girl Ana said it like this...
"How they suppose to like what they see
If you ain't in their line of sight..."

I know she right
I'm a loner
That hate being alone
Work with beautiful women
But I'm always professional
Even when my thoughts start to become
Not Safe For Work
I just sang and do my thang.
Because the R&B; purifies me
& "Nothing Was The Same" tracks amplify me
So that the only time I hear my name in anyone's mouth
Is out of praise
Because I'm trying to be the best at what I do
I be thinking though
What these girls think of the kid
Quiet, but he really love to sing
Tap you on your shoulder cause he don't know your name
But he always smile after a question
Because he's genuine

Hello miss,
How are you this afternoon?
Well uh,
you look stunning
I just thought I should let you know
Because your smile has made my day
and now I hope you have a great evening too
****
Déjà Vu
But who woulda knew?
The kid is too cautious to jump into anything new
So he stays focused on what he came to do
Come to work and have fun
Wasn't that the agenda boo?

A few words from a good one.
Ana
Beautiful soul,
And I met her on the last day of high school
The girl deserves the best.
Because her mind right,
Her smile warming
And intelligence is ****.
And she can vibe with me and my music and poetry.
I'm so lucky to have this person as a friend
I guess I should really try to keep in touch with her more.
And that's real!

Take notice:
this went from talking about something I want,
to showing appreciation to my friend.
Even though I shouldn't, I always put them first,
they are my family
Honestly,
the people in my life are the best
and I am forever grateful for them

~
This was a little something for a friend.
Thanks for the inspiration.
As always sweetheart
shine bright
and know that if you need a shoulder to lean upon
I'll be right there behind you
just give me the word.
okay?

I wonder whats so appealing about demons and their temptations
Or about characters who don't quite have their stories straight
Claiming the day is to come but never actually sets a date
Lost in a trail of their own confusion
In the hopes they might sedate it
But with the path of destruction left in their wake
They couldn't help but feel ashamed, right?
I mean, don't you?
You couldn't be so foolish
Or be so heartless
To realize this isn’t right
You only surpass me in age by a year and yet
You’ve become quite bitter
I try to understand but to be this lost
Is simply lost to me
I'm told to just try to understand that we all have demons
But must they manifest in this nature?
Then demand the respect of your allies with disrespect
It makes no sense
Do you see how vulnerable a piece is when the pawns are gone
Don't you hate feeling like you're all alone?
I truly wonder if you get it though,
Because its truly sad to see
Especially that day you spoke to me
I saw someone who wanted to become accepted
You just went about it the wrong way
and I can’t help but wonder what lead you so astray?
Whether it be a troubled past or you just like to be a pain in the ***
I hope you find some peace
In this chaotic battlefield you call life.

I often disregard the fact that people affect me the way they do
whether it be good or bad, I just can't shake the fact that people matter
So I'm really astonished by the fact that good people
or anyone really, are treated badly
Is it that we forget the Golden Rule at a certain age
such as when adolescence hits and our selfishness consumes us
or when things gets so bad that it's depression you can't escape
whatever it maybe, whoever it maybe
don't you think they'd appreciate a little kind-heartedness?
even if it ain't reciprocated,
even if they hate you,
even if they harm you,
look into the core of their soul
and let them know,
how their actions only reflect
how much hurt they have endured
and the fact of the matter is,
that they are loved,
it's ensured
even if they aren't.

Late night mediation
ended up picking up this pen
Steady thinking bout you
"Ooh no, no, no"
It's true lady,
You've ambushed my mind
And are the only thing that remains
When night falls till the sunrise
The music plays on in the background
And I wonder if you ever think so far ahead?
Because I get it forever's a long time, more like a life time
But "temporary lover" won't make you mine
And excuse me Mr. Ocean for borrowing another line but
"I remember how could I forget, how you feel"
But I'd rather not be the one continuously mending a heart you could willingly heal.
The past I had once clung onto desperately taught me that
also, a mentor I had once instructed me that love shouldn't suffocate
only alleviate and enrich our quality of living.
So, come and take a walk with me
because you talked about getting away,
somewhere where you could enjoy the watching the sunset
and I just want to watch you bask in a beauty as natural as you
held tight in my embrace
you can hear my heart race
as if its the bass to our favorite song
and with your sweet little voice, you sing along
I sincerely believe
this could all be possible
but go on and call me foolish
I'll still sing these love songs as loudly and proudly as I did in my youth
When I was just around the age of 8 in my room
belting, "Everyone Falls In Love Sometimes"
cause it's true
and "I Don't Know Bout You But It Ain't A Crime"
but that might depend who you talk to
because "catching feelings" apparently has become some sort of affliction
when the case of the matter is
it only matters when
the source of affliction isn't afflicted too
a little something we've all been through
nothing to be ashamed of either
just another lesson learned with time
scheming on ways to make you mine
with a period missing from every line
running on and on about the ways I love this song
and how you embody the passion sung
so go on and call me selfish,
I mean it is what it is,
But if it is love you desire,
and you like to take the time to get to know me
I'll give you a constant supply

Introduction:

Everything I work for now is for my future,
the amazing wife that I know will ease my mind when I'm troubled
and the children we will raise together...
I will work hard to make sure they are as happy as humanly possible

I promised myself this as a young child when I have first dreamt of losing my parents.
I cried that night,
I still can remember that dream clearly
News crews lined up in front of my home
blocked off by "do not cross" tape
I never knew how they were taken
I remember a woman asking me in the dream,
"what will you do now that you're parents are dead?"
And I screamed...

My first night terror.
My father came in and asked
"what's wrong?"
I looked at him in reassurance
and said nothing and yet he insisted I tell him what had me shook.
I remained quiet in fear of the reality of the premonition
My biggest fear,
because although we fight and argue I do love them dearly
I've always planned on grabbing a pen and transcribing this feeling the only way I can
and then reading it to them
Maybe at an open mic night
if they would ever find the time to watch me one day
They deserve that much for the struggles they've been through
and I just want them to see why I love this art so much.

All my life,
I've just wanted to make an impact in some way.
Give what I can because life is too short.
There is so much other ******* in this world.
So I strive to give all that I can before I take my dying breath
because who knows maybe my mentality will rub off on someone else
and the chain will continue on thru my time.

Problem is,
I continue to put my own issues and concerns in the back burner.
And put all others before myself.
Except my family and I guess they feel neglected,
even though that's not my intention.
So as a result,
my parents think I'm a **** up
and that I'm gradually slipping down the wrong path.
They are also stuck in their "old ways"
so they think all that I do is wrong.
Rebellious and yet looking for a way back to gain approval in their eyes.

The struggle.

It's 8:37
I wrote the contents of my mind at the time
For the sake of my sanity.

I guess I knew I wasn’t done.
you see, the feeling never faded
it was just negated, if only for a while
late last night you crept into my imagination while I slept
and I finally told you everything I ever wanted to say
how the past is in the past and don’t mean a thing
that your smile is a blessing and without it I sin
trying to fill the core that you left empty
I suppose I envy you now
you’ve got scares
but you live so carefree now

I love that

I wish I wasn’t so concerned about where my heart will lay
when my hair grows gray
I know it’s sad
but I’m convinced that when I complete that part of the puzzle
the image will become clearer
and all will fall into place
it’s just that I’d always imagined you by my side
but it just wasn’t meant to be
I can live with that
because honestly all that I care is that

You are happy
because that’s what I aimed to achieve with you.

And I wonder...
Can have a second or two to get to know you?
Shorty you've been on my mind and I know that we just met but you intrigue me.
Too good to be true isn’t nothing new and you probably heard these words before
but please believe me,
When I tell you you’re smile warms my heart
and that your frown is like a failed attempt at the "push to start"
No key detected, it's left a gap in your core
Never knowing what to expect, you wish for the best but aren't sure what's in store
Because these suitors don't seem to be genuine anymore
Well you know what they say, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure
My lucky penny
they kept dropping you because it's your value they can't measure
And lady treasuring that *** would certainly be my pleasure
All jokes aside, woman of your variety are close to extinction
And to tell you that you hadn't run through my mind all day would be a farce
But that's only because when you compare yourself to the average girl,
omething shines through clearly,  a certain distinction...
Respect and a belief that some things are still sacred,
Like love,
You free as a dove
Yet you allow these nobodies constrict your life
Paralyzed by the experiences I have yet to hear
Understand when you feel you can, I’ll be here
With an accepting and sincere ear
Finally when the night falls
and you feel the need to lay your pretty little head down
I’ll embrace you in my arms with kisses all around
and hold you tight until the sunrise
a few small moments built together which comprise
Of us :)

To the female with the inner struggle
miss, I wish you'd really let it go
even though I ain't one to speak
clinging on to that of which I never had
****, I know it's sad
but at the time,
she meant the world to me
and that's all that ever mattered

Now I've learned that time can accumulate distance
and you're so far gone that you've seemed to have forgotten
he's long gone
and in your fortress of solitude
you reminisce on the moments you shared
it’s no question that you care
but let me ask you a question,
do you think it's fair that your heart aches from a heartbreak
that occurred so long ago?
it's true that the scars you can't see be the hardest to heal
but letting it drown your mind ain’t the best way to deal
believe me I know how you feel
I’m guilty of the same
and from experience I can tell you that
that’s a place I wish to never go back

Realized I was so consumed with her
that there no one else I could possibly prefer
so innocently blinded by the thought of her being the one
I never took time to notice something was wrong
when I did the blame fell on me
when in reality it was her
but all that time ago perfection protected her from any judgment
my only fault, other than expressing how I truly felt…

So hopefully in time
you’ll realize you need to let go
because being reminiscent of what used to be
sometimes highlights what you used to see and believe
compared to what it was in reality.  
Some of life’s lessons leave us feeling like we live in a cold cruel world
but sometimes it just what we need to go on.
A few rhymes for the girl who claims I never have the time.
Be well my friend

Y’all inspire me honestly
a spark created from understanding
lately I ain’t had none
recently lost, GPS receives no signal
an abundance of mirages in the distance
all that’s left is scattered footprints
fading with the sands of time
look at me now, god I ask what’s mine
possessions all material, in a decades past that’d be fine
but a decades past and im left searching for meaning
a little substance with each meeting
a somber thought, that it took till the 18th to reach 2
lines [11] that meant any **** thing to me
my momma told me once, your name is the only thing you own
and family is everything
hard to believe seeing how my abode was shattered
before I had the age to maintain a substantial memory
in time I was interested in some concept called love
held strong by the idea of monogamy
so I searched for someone special
something like a song in ‘04 called “Follow Me”
the melody did me good, my therapeutic remedy
word to confessions,
word to lessons taught to a confused adolescent
dreams I once had shattered by my peers
so my once booming voice grew gradually quiet
so it’d never reach their ears
but I forever remain sincere
even when laughter and ridicule is all I hear
my goal in 13 is to banish my fears
my vow this year is to make this blurred vision clear
reconstruction of the confidence that was once lacking
step up with the school work because I've been slacking
and becoming the individual my true friends are always backing
because it's time I reach my potential.

I wrote a few lines
Back in a time where I thought I knew
Made complications seem as simple as the different shades of grey
She lead astray
Venom racing thru my mind that day
Each second allowing it to coarse deeper into my thoughts
After all the struggle, could you really still have lost?
Fought but never took action
Took another avenue
For the path seemed way to cluttered for the allotted time of two
Conflicted, a tear fell from mine eye
But from the grin that followed the sorrow one could only assume acceptance…
Lost in confusion
I’m sure it’s not a delusion
So I came to a conclusion
Must I let go and grow
Or hold tight and let her know?
...
and I just stopped writing,
finished.

You are quite the looker sweetheart.
tonight I wanted to take a moment to tell you
that you deserve to be treated like a princess,
held like a jewel
and ****** like the little ***** no one knows you are.
if only they knew, they'd be rushing for you.
alas,
the world is filled with the type of women who spread their legs
whenever the heat just so happens to get the best of the moment.
but you're heart longs for more,
& although your body may say yes,
the little tick tock in your chest will not rest.
you see it longs for love...

Truly Yours,
Desire

A Message She’ll Never See
When did you begin to lose faith?
When did you stop believing in what could be
and come to the conclusion that it can’t?
Why do you want what hurts in comparison to what could work
I guess then I should ask why you should settle for less
when you can work for what you want
but it’s not like we’re kids anymore,
time has taught us that plus distance is an added factor
but we never added that
In some respect,
we could come together and still be those same people
who laugh and chill as if nothing ever changed
but it has and that’s what keeps us at bay
I could say “I love you”
but I could never mean it the same way
Then I could say “I miss you”
but that doesn’t guarantee that you’d stay.
People change,
I accept that but I just hope that you know
I pray that you never let go,
of this thing called love.

It’s been a long time
Since I faced this canvas
Maybe it was a lack of time
A vacation with no rest
Actively brain dead, I couldn’t test the ability to conjure rhymes
A failure to excavate and train my mind
Or maybe it was because I had lost my inspiration
A certain spark or connection to my lost art
For someone who once felt complete, this is certainly a lost component of my heart
I ramble and I apologize but this barren realm sometimes requires this
Let me discuss a discovery that I made
Rather something I hadn’t noticed I lost
A longing for love…
To find one and bask in her radiance
And enrich her with the emotions I have since kept latent
I used to believe I was searching for purity
Someone simply made for me,
But experience would soon prove those thoughts foolish
Because sadly life will always inflict the heartache Ashanti described
To those who didn’t know it yet strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride
But the ride will equip you with the knowledge and experience needed to keep growing
Anyhow I digress, see this topic was often something I stressed
But lately, I’ve kept it at bay, admit to myself it was okay
Exposed myself to what the Christians would claim are sins
Stupid morals and standards
At such a young age who the hell was I to judge?
We’re all still learning, don’t you dare ever hold a grudge
I just want someone to hold
A girl with a confidence all her own
But still depends on my love
Her imperfections whatever they may be
Will make her perfect because she is
To me
And when I sleep I will rest easily knowing
She makes me happy
Genuinely content as I take one last look at her in my arms
Until the sun rises above our heads once more
A kiss to her forehead and I whisper,
“Sweet dreams my love,
Sweet dreams”
But until then I’ll keep the faith
And see what paths in life awaits me
Until I am once more reintroduced to love.

I swear your love would be the sweetest drug,
but what kills me is that I'm already addicted without taking my first puff...
But once I inhale you
I know the sensation it will bring
and the very actions I would take to make your heart strings sing...
But it's as if you can't see me
Or perhaps it because you're out of my reach
Or could it be that your heart belongs to another?
Maybe I'm not what you seek
Yet your beauty always seems to seep into my mind's eye whenever I sleep
It's everything you do my sweet angel
From your laugh, to your smile, even the way that you speak
It all just so happens to compel me
But you don't ever notice me,
Do you?
---
"In love with an angel
But she don't belong to me..."

A little love for me,
A little love for me,
Can’t you see that’s all I really need?
A prideful soul searches quietly
Through a world overrun by women
Who no longer hold pride as a priority
Shame but I suppose that’s why I search so diligently
Raised by the melody of R&B;
A group with a burning passion for their art
Had caught my attention and left an impression on my young mind
And in time, I believed in the kind of love they described
A little something like,

“I’ll Make Love To You
Like you want me to
And I’ll hold you tight
baby all through the night…”
Yeah maybe a little ******
But at such a young age who was I to know
I believed it though,
The power of a woman giving you so much happiness
That you must indeed shower her in love
Then another melody had reached me
It hit me suddenly like,

“My whole life has changed,
Since you came in, I knew back then
you were that special one,
I’m so in love, so deep in love.”

This man Ginuwine was genuine in the way he described this
He found love and then grabbed it
She made him feel whole,
A mate for his soul
A woman that I’m dying to get home to and hold
To settle down with and confine in
The one I will raise our child with
Just to demonstrate the love that is sure to grow through all the years
Foolish I suppose but you must believe
That this message is sincere
From the bottom of my heart
Or rather than inner depths of my core
To the girl that I do not yet know
Let the record show
This is for you.

Truly yours,
Desire

"Great Scott"
Like Lucas and Nathan
Y'all ain't perfect but you're trying
Relying on something other than your name to take you far...
You're a star
But let you shine diminish as each person you thought you were close to,
Tarnishes what you hold dear
No fear sweetheart,
No fear
Claim what is yours
Speak loudly and proudly
So that the haters hear
Let them know you're here
And that nothing can stop you...
---
Back to the drawing board
Or better yet back to this blank canvas
familiar and inviting and yet I can’t help but wonder
how these words will create an image
I guess there ain’t no better way to find out
but to move onward
---
How ‘bout we search for some meaning
A little substance from the soul
I mean maybe I can’t sing but I bet you gon’ feel this
I’m just tryna be the realest
give my people something relatable
and also a fragment of me
writing about what I see
or what might be
the hopes and dreams
of a child in this restless city
gazing upon the night sky
pondering on his life’s importance
in comparison to the billions of stars that shine bright
could he possibly one day emit light?
give direction to those who might’ve lost sight
could he scheme up a dream as big as Martin did
and if so, would he reach the masses?
because lord knows in the days we live in
we need hope
but how does one cope
when hundreds of thousands of lives are being taken by dope or foots of rope
we’ve lost our way
a country that once proclaimed to be best
now stands on its last legs
and the people we elect to govern us
continue to dig us deeper into this hole
have we nothing left to show?

An Ode To TCC

As the sun sets behind the clouds
and the once warm weather becomes cold
I begin to wonder exactly how many sunsets have ended just like this
the sun’s rays glimmering perfectly off of the water
the rowdiness of the children’s voices slowly diminish
and a gentle breeze that waves with the leaves seems to guide us all home

“Another day, another dollar” I always say
forgetting most of the time to bask in the radiance of this beauty
because in a year or two,
it’ll be nothing but a memory
sweet recollections of simplicity
and yet for some,
these are the best years that life has to offer

Simple days basking in the summer rays on a fresh patch of grass,
taking in and inhaling the very essence of relaxation
or exploring the world and discovering the many secrets that it holds
for it may not change you,
but in time it will help you mold
the person you will be,
and the people around you
so I beg you, please, embrace the day.

Sometimes I’m too caught up in the future to enjoy what’s right in front of me
So today I picked up my pencil
and I took a minute to describe it
took a moment to decide if
I’d let this moment fade with the rest
and ignore it while the sunset

Take a peek inside...

Stuck in my mind - From a time where everything was fine

My mind my own enemy
They warned me not to worry
Yet thats the only emotion I express
Always the piece that never fit the puzzle
Out of place,
Discarded,
Lost
Maybe I’m just corrupted
Twisted in the head
To have never had adjusted
To what the population considers “normal”
And yet the world should supposably be diverse
I probably should’ve ended my life as a child
Just to test the process of reincarnation
So that maybe I could have a chance at normalcy
One question always roams through my thoughts
Regardless of my state of mind
Are they laughing with me or at me?
And if it’s at me,
EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHAT THE **** IS SO FUNNY
Was there something I did to amuse you?
Or am I just a walking freak show on display without even knowing it.

To You
In the end, I know it’s nothing
we’ll reach our breaking point and stop
I’m actually surprised,
that you continue to amuse yourself even now.

To whom it may concern,
That certain one running through my thoughts
MJ to be more precise
The L is missing because I’m not sure it ever existed
Now you’ve got a lot going on
that much I understand
But is anything you said reality?
Or are you just keeping me around…
Granted I know that kid was nothing
And you in love with the man you with
But those words shared only at the crack of dawn
Where are they coming from?
I’m not naïve; I’m trying hard not to be foolish
But you, you mean so much
And I know that I told myself I wouldn’t write these words again
But ****
My hands get a hold of a pen and your name is the first thing on the line
And I’d be doing fine if any of this made sense but its corroding my mind
…sigh…
Make it make sense
I promised to never leave you
And you claimed you didn’t want to hurt me
Well maybe for now, distance is the best remedy
Because I don’t want to see the same man hurt you
And if he doesn’t, I don’t want to see what I fear come true
But boo, I want whatever is best for you
And I mean that sincerely
so I wish you the most happiness
and bid adieu to you.

Much Love,
James Desire

Play your part
Practice your art
Create your distance
And watch her back arch
Fluidity in your charm
But your doubt stunts you
Pessimistic thoughts haunt you
And when it all seems to be going well your mind gets to racing
Better yet estimating when your luck will end…
Coy and timid you seem to set limits to what you can do
Shame because that’s the point where you really start to lose
It’s your path to choose
Continue to on this gentlemanly cruise second guessing every move
Or pull the trigger and just take action
No thoughts required just fire.
If she worth it, don’t overthink it
Embrace it.

Gravity** (Inspired by the music of Miguel)
“The way you pull me, you move me…”

Isn’t it interesting just how strange life is?
so many variables can influence the outcome
we all have a path to follow I guess we just need to discover where that path lies…
living without vision of a future is frightening
honestly, I need to have a tendency to try new things
because if not, I’ll lead life with no means to develop and grow
I shook because I feared the loss of it all
overtime she became important to me
I will not deny that…
I got too comfortable, I admit that ****** up once or twice
but pessimism was my downfall.
the same happens with poetry
no matter how many times I’m told
how good I might be,
the minute I step on stage,
and the light hits my face
I lose all confidence in my speech
my head falls down and stays glued to my feet
and just for a moment I feel the defeat
till voices in the crowd stand out
cheering me on, picking me up
my voice a little raspy
my legs a little shaky
I take a deep breath,
and slowly regain my composure
until I’m starting to speak those words
encrypted with stories I like to tell
or related to stories I might’ve heard
I hear nothing but them,
lost in my head, remembering the rhythm
remembering the feeling of how my pen formed every curve that created these rhymes
and in no time I find
there they are no longer any words to speak
no more hidden courage to reach
all that remains is the lesson I sought to breech into my thoughts
and become a teaching that I preach
so I hope that these words leech to the meek
or whoever was looking for some substance in this content
all this derived from the melody of gravity on continuous repeat
my heart and this beat
flow together oh so harmoniously
I suppose that might be why
Poetry and music seem to make so much sense to me…

EXTRA:
Our eyes meet,
My hands grasp at your hips
A kiss to your cheek
and I bit you a good evening sweetheart
Before I met you
Too little too late,
I won’t forget you…

It’s been a long time
Since I faced this canvas
Maybe it was a lack of time
A vacation with no rest
Actively brain dead, I couldn’t test the ability to conjure rhymes
A failure to excavate and train my mind
Or maybe it was because I had lost my inspiration
A certain spark or connection to my lost art
For someone who once felt complete, this is certainly a lost component of my heart
I ramble and I apologize but this barren realm sometimes requires this
Let me discuss a discovery that I made
Rather something I hadn’t noticed I lost
A longing for love…
To find one and bask in her radiance
And enrich her with the emotions I have since kept latent
I used to believe I was searching for purity
Someone simply made for me,
But experience would soon prove those thoughts foolish
Because sadly life will always inflict the heartache Ashanti described
To those who didn’t know it yet strap yourselves in for a bumpy ride
But the ride will equip you with the knowledge and experience needed to keep growing
Anyhow I digress, see this topic was often something I stressed
But lately, I’ve kept it at bay, admit to myself it was okay
Exposed myself to what the Christians would claim are sins
Stupid morals and standards
At such a young age who the hell was I to judge?
We’re all still learning, don’t you dare ever hold a grudge
I just want someone to hold
A girl with a confidence all her own
But still depends on my love
Her imperfections whatever they may be
Will make her perfect because she is
For me
And when I sleep I will rest easily knowing
She makes me happy
Genuinely content as a take one last look at her in my arms
Until the sun rises above our heads once more
A kiss to her forehead and I whisper,
“Sweet dreams my love,
Sweet dreams”
But until then I’ll keep the faith
And see what paths in life await me
Until I am once more reintroduced to love.

To the female with the inner struggle
miss, I wish you'd really let it go
even though I ain't one to speak
clinging on to that of which I never had
****, I know it's sad
but at the time,
she meant the world to me
and that's all that ever mattered

Now I've learned that time can accumulate distance
and you're so far gone that you've seemed
to have forgotten
he's long gone
and in your fortress of solitude
you reminisce on the moments you shared
it’s no question that you care
but let me ask you a question,
do you think it's fair that your heart aches from a heartbreak
that occurred so long ago?
it's true that the scars you can't see be the hardest to heal
but letting it drown your mind ain’t the best way to deal
believe me I know how you feel
I’m guilty of the same
and from experience I can tell you that
that’s a place I wish to never go back

Realized I was so consumed with her
that there no one else I could possibly prefer
so innocently blinded by the thought of her being the one
I never took time to notice something was wrong
when I did the blame fell on me
when in reality it was her
but all that time ago perfection protected her from any judgment
my only fault, other than expressing how I truly felt…

So hopefully in time
you’ll realize you need to let go
because being reminiscent of what used to be
sometimes highlights what you used to see and believe
compared to what it was in reality.  
Some of life’s lessons leave us feeling like we live in a cold cruel world
but sometimes it just what we need to go on.
A few rhymes for the girl who claims I never have the time.
Be well my friend

-Jimmy Desire

Introduction [The Ride]
-Jimmy Desire

The Ride
Its journey is amazing
The process is sensational
Man, where I'm from
Who knows the destination though?
Constant names being learned
Forgotten while I go
I yearn to keep a few of them in memory
But only time will tell who comes and goes
So I continue on forward
Trying to understand the confusion that the world insists is normal
Meanwhile battling the emotions that you insist does not exist
Well then, what is this?
Bliss from ignorance
Then anger from your partner's diss
Not sure who to call friend or foe
And yet you claim this **** doesn’t exist?
Must’ve been blinded, there has to be something I missed
Because "dog eat dog" ain't nothing new
And yet I continue to resist as if someone will assist
Instead I'm hit with this metaphorical fist and left behind in the mist
Wondering what the hell is this?
The Ride

Of all the women
The last two knew me best
Taught me more than I'd like to admit
Especially because I did my best to help them
Something I never omit
But somehow along the way things happened to go amiss
And even if our eyes don't ever meet as often
Or things never seem the same
I continue to pray for their success
Because regardless of how they see it
It’s my life they've blessed
And there are two more that will never leave my side
Even if I were to decide to take a leave of absence
Forever my balance
I swear their voices took over my conscience
As if to lend me guidance
So honestly it may just be science
That these two incredible females remain a constant
Arevalo and Martinez how I adore the two of you
And although at times I may seem distant
I miss the two of you
And the fiascos that would ensue
Like hopping the border for dunkin'
Or attempts at grand theft in JP
Just the memories of those moments reminds me
That our equation is incredible
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world


The Ride
Where do I go?
Who will I be?
My future still a mystery
But the days pass by so quickly
And I’ve been living so peacefully in the present
That I’ve paid no mind to what awaits me
Even now I seem to forget the importance of it all
Like how time and money rule everything around me
And that in time, I’ll have love ones who depends on me
And that in time, I can no longer live carefree
So in time, I wonder who I’ll be
Because too much was sacrificed to see me succeed
To my parents and those who helped raise me
I understand and I promise to make you all proud
And I know I was quite the handful in the years that have past
But now in the years to come,
I plan to show you the admiration you deserve for the lessons you’ve taught me
So that it’s known that you’re involvement made a difference
So in time, I promise it’ll all be clear
The vision is near,
Desire Enterprises CEO
It was all a dream…
The Ride

Life is bittersweet
For it blessed me with a brother
But stole him away before I had any chance to get to know him
So in time I was introduced to three kids,
Ralph, Myke and Medrano, they would end up becoming my brothers
And in time my mother decided it was time for her to have another
So at the age of seven I was introduced to a young child named Jason
A few months before him, Ralph, Myke, and Medrano welcomed a young tyke named Billy
Now there were six
And for years, we were each other’s friends, bullies, teachers and rivals
But I often wondered what came about the first
However I often ignored it
Because that period and time of my life was so vague
That I started to doubt it
And as the period of change seemed to settle,
I was informed of the return of the prince himself,
The young Max Saint-Eloi

The Ride
In time it will all subside
My ***** told me life is too short
So I guess it’s time to shape up
Stop slacking, wake up!
For so long I’ve clung onto this cliff
Too afraid to fail
I want it all
But I’m too afraid to fall
But decided to let go cause who knows I won’t land on my feet?
Fear is just an obstacle we must defeat
And I rather have a fighting chance
Than to turn tail and surrender
So Here I Stand World
Test me
My name is what I cherish most
Because my mother taught me
It’s the one thing I really own
And to make sure to never taint it
D-E-S-I-R-E
What may be a word to you, means much more to me
All my life I’ve been told that I have great potential
That I was something special
Never meant a thing to me then
But now I’m working hard to achieve what I used to think was impossible  
And these words mean nothing without the actions to reinforce them
So I pay no mind to those who may judge me,
Care for those who appreciate my presence
And lend an ear to those who feel they need some guidance
Because it happens, like the morning fog that shades what’s in the distance
Or how perfect things change in just an instance
Life leaves us troubled with uncertainty and mystery
So the purpose of these words is to remind me
That if I should ever find myself lost or confused
To look back and remember the people and events that enlightened me
And my love for poetry
The Ride

The sands of the hourglass continue to slip through our fingers
Yet I try to catch some and embed them in my memories
Poetry, my method of preserving those moments I deem important enough to save
My name is Jimmy Desire,
Welcome to my story.

The Dark Side: Part One
---
And if I bit you from your neck
Down to the rest of your body
Periodically kissing the spots I know you love,
Would your body respond?
Would you reject my hands at your waist?
As I took a taste of the sweet nectar
That lay within your lips?
And once your body has reached its peak
And your mind goes blank as it begins to seep
Into the pure ecstasy of lust,
Would you surrender and just “say it”?
Just let your inhibitions go,
Your perverted imagination flow
And speak on your body’s desires
While my fingers trace your shape
Further exciting you more
Upon their journey they encounter a weakness
A point that influences your vocal chords,
As your composure beaks down
And the process of passion begins
Foreplay is now torture,
You speak sultry whispers into my ear,
And ask for more,
More, more…

-Jimmy Desire

Free-write, A conclusion
-James Desire

I remember back then
Back when, we sat overlooking the unsuspecting world
Discussing our futures
Reminiscing on past days
I wrote down a few lines to remember the occasion
Something about wondering if you were one to fade with the seasons...
Take a listen:

"Time comes and goes with the seasons
People seem to follow the same trend
I guess I'm looking for a little consistency
Like the few leaves that refuse to dance with the wind
Will you too be one to drift away?
I look for the answer in your eyes
But maybe I should wait for winter to come..."

I concluded that only time would tell,
Just one of the answers that I knew I'd find out sooner or later.
Yet doubt still resided in mind
Further reflected with a rhyme that I made:

"Through the sunny days, cloudy nights
And the uncertainty in her hazy eyes
I will continue to adore her willingly."

Made a decision then and there not to back down
Just so I'd see where that would lead me
And just as the year was coming to an end
You grabbed my arm and we walked side by side for what felt might be the last time...
We reached our destination as the night sky lit up in celebration of the year to come
You stared off into the distance as if to remember the moment
My eyes remained fixed on you
My body, tense and anxious with anticipation
Tried my best to gather up confidence
Took a breath to ease my doubts and concerns
And proceeded to find an answer...
Because you see time was no longer a luxury I had to offer
But you didn’t seem so sure.

“I guess that was the moment of truth huh?
The fireworks went off and you got to thinking maybe it shouldn’t be you huh?
But it seems I’m the one to blame because you warned me back in fall
That if I were to fall any deeper, I would end up disliking you
Shame is that the result isn’t as you predicted
Rather I despise the manner in which you conducted
But what does that matter because the matter is said and done
And I’ll admit the result had left me a little stunned
But I’m better now
Had time to reflect and contemplate
Just another life lesson…”

Fall and winter gone
Spring now in our midst
And you're nowhere to be found
Or maybe I just stopped looking
But it’s cool though
No need to ask what you've been up too
I know you’re busy doing you
So enjoy and may this season be generous to you
But before I end this story,
I've got one last piece for you:

"People fall in and out of our lives like the seasons changing
so don't ever expect a thing from someone who owes you nothing
time alone will be the indicator,
so when the leaves fall then later chased by the snow which eventually is melted from the various plants that must grow
to the shinning sun whom gives them energy to do so,
let the hands of the ones who stand by your side show
those are the ones unfazed by natures flow."

~Lessons Learned On Life's Terms~

April 2, 2012 – James Desire – Refine Your Mind

Dandelion spores
Drift with the shift of the wind
planting the seeds for the new generation
they’re influence reaching far and wide...
As is life’s course,
As we begin to mature and build our aspirations in reality
So there will also be a time when we discover what we must do
And in-turn drift in the direction that life leads you
So that we may build something for future generations to come...
We are living for more than just ourselves,
Realize that our lives are much more extraordinary than it may seem
That we can benefit from each other
Help one another grow and develop
I often contemplate on how my life wouldn’t be the same
If I hadn’t crossed paths with the numerous souls who were once nameless faces
Incredible, is it not?
That anyone could influence the life of another
And granted currency is an important aspect of life but it isn’t everything…
Yet the government seems to help corrupt us with its image
So a word of advice to you,
Be wealthy in knowledge
For acquiring that will grant you all the riches you need
And once you acquire the tools
Share them with others so that the wealth will grow.
Your selfishness may stunt you
But your generosity will reward you
Remember that always

…Just a few thoughts while lost in time,
and a few rhymes while lost in mind,
Make up the few lines to help reach my prime…
Poetry this art is mine.

And if I didn’t spill my mind all over your surface
I’d probably go insane with these thoughts racing through my brain
This pencil perfectly transcribes all I decide must leave my conscience…
Meaning, “I can’t get you out of my head” because you plague my train of thought
While through your eyes I’ve become quite transparent
Well so be it, again, I don’t ask for much but a place to release these stranded emotions
a place where it all can be put down,
erased, and bulit up and reconstructed with some time
maybe here and there I'll put in a little ryhme
and then, maybe then, I'll gain a peace of mind...
So in time I’ll heal I just need a constant dosage of my remedy,
Just a case of insanity,
Poetry

A few words for a girl I care for
Before you awake and start your long day,
I thought I might write a little something to help you through it.
Life is hard, that much I understand
I just hope you try not to let all the negativity consume you
There are obstacles it’ll put us through
But I’d like you to always remember this:
No matter what it is that’s bothering you
May the radiance of your smile never diminish,
Your determination never waiver,
May faith never leave you
And your love never fade
For they and your personality make you special
Caring,
Ambitious,
And successful,
Take pride in that
Please believe that you are amazing in so many ways
Because it is seen through the eyes of many
It just saddens me that yours aren’t one of them
So these are just a few words to remind you
Hopefully you don’t forget
And if ever you do
I hope you look this over
and remember how that smile just happened to come across your face.

Much Love,
Jimmy Desire

Conflicted
See my mind’s in one place,
And heart’s in another
I figure I’ll have to wait until they catch up with each other
Because if I consult one I must consult the other
It’s quite simple actually,
It’s either all of me or none of me
Conflicted…
I should pull away and let you be
But I can’t seem to do it.
Infected with a sickness
See I understood the conclusion
And let go
Let the distance grow between us
Miracle grow
But you’re repetitive
You tell me, “Sorry but we can’t be”
What? Do you and I not have much compatibility?
Or is it because I don’t have an ******* quality that all my life I’ve tried to avoid
Regardless, I make the best of a situation I’d rather put to rest
And see you daily to share a laugh but it ain’t the same
This is nowhere near the same
But that’s partially on me,
Got too accustomed in a place I don’t reside,
But no worries, I’ll just return to the shattered abode I call a home
Continue to write about what I see and let it fuel me until I feel again
I swear this **** is real, and I love it
I really ******* love it but until I have reason to profess it
I’ll suppress it and never again let a soul gain entry to mine as well as you did
But I’ll confess this, I’m happy I was able to help you with whatever you were going through
But my heart doesn’t agree, because it would’ve wanted to help you and but then have kept you too
But it happens and I accept that
I had fun and I’ll admit that
You say you’ll miss me, I believe that
But you shouldn’t…
You’ll be fine; you’re too strong for all that.
They say people we meet along the way will influence us,
I just hope I did my part.
The road you’re on is amazing
I wish I could see how you progress
But alas, I’m on my own road where numerous tests and challenges await me
So if I never see you again,
I ask you to smile,
Not just when something is funny
But in general, as you go about your day, smile
Give someone something to be happy about
Because I hope that’s what I did for you
Remember the nonsense that came out of my mouth
The countless hours we spent together just hanging about
Most of all remember how we met
Because if I could I would’ve went to see Lion King with you I swear
You were so beautiful then
As you are now, and I know you know, but I just like to let you know that I admire it.
I’ll miss you most out of everything this semester
I thank you for that
Please be safe miss and continue to do what you do
I know you’ll find a man suitable enough to be your king one day
So until then try to keep your bad *** out of trouble.
Love Always,
Jimmy Desire

how can an expression so simple
be so addicting?
smile is appealing,
mind is brilliant,
but it must be too early
I mean how could it be that you've infiltrated my thoughts
and reside comfortably in mind?
You're something else...
like Ne-Yo said,
"You're the best thing I never knew I needed"
and you've just succeeded in reminding me
that life's course holds a vast amount of surprises
you most certainly may be the most pleasant
and I know some of the best words are better left unsaid
but I just thought you deserved a little recognition.
A toast to my future queen, may you continue to shine on.

Practice takes patience
and patience takes practice
figuring out who you are takes that and a compass
nothing as simple as asking,
rather, much more like searching
for the smallest details that makes you, you.
Self-exploration
and in the case of others,
no longer are we searching
but rather waiting for pathways to open
connections are made with everything that we learn
but that takes time, dont rush the process
dont get anxious or nervous
just express your intrest
you see thats how friendships are made and relationships develop
you see time takes patience,
and patience takes practice.

ooh, I shouldn't care but I do.
I just like to talk to you
and listen to every detail that should happen to escape those lips
and inch closer with every thoughtful response and mistakenly steal a kiss
you ask what I'm doing,
I explain I couldn't resist, I just had to have a taste of something I could've missed.
You laugh but you insist not to let it happen again
see now we have a problem because what I had just taken from you was pure bliss
and I'd be ****** if I actually had to be restricted from this...
So you continue your story and I'm lost in mind,
stratagizing ways to make you mine.
In the meantime,
I'm watching you speak and become infatuated with your laugh and smile,
they're sight alone would be enough to have me run for miles...and it has too.
Now I have yet to reveal all the secrets you have concealed
but I believe slowly but surely
I'll get there and maybe eventually bring out the side that longs to be defiled.
And when I first met you,
you explained how your next man would be the one to walk you down the aisle
To be honest, I'm nowhere ready for that yet
but in the meanwhile why not take a chance with me?
because as time has gone by,
I've grown quite accustomed to you...

Free-Write 12
What's up with this feeling?
This unfamiliar feeling, dealing blows to my core
Bass shaking up the ceiling
I tremble with each quake trying to find stable ground
But struggle to find it, see I don't make a sound
The building is collasping and my mind gets to racing,
chasing an idea I haven't yet schemed up
yet another vivid scenero I've just so happened to dream up
a place where every thought and idea seems to fall and become debris around me
and my heartbeat emerges and lashes out wildly
as if to get my attention but I try hard not to listen
because my hearts desires arnt always morally acceptable
at least by my mind standards
You see I fear that emotion can drive us crazy
So I conceal apart of me because I couldn't seem to find a balance
And plus I'm tryna stay focused but it's strange without guidence
And at times when things don't happen to make sense
And the pressure gets too intense it happens to breakfree and dispense the nonsense that I've refused to hear into my consciousness.
Therefore I ask myself, what is this?
Why do I think when I must act?
I understand a need for caution
but maybe a leap of faith is a far better option
You've gone this far, don't hesitate, take action
If you fail, well good
Because if you hadn't how else would you have knew
I swear to you in time you will improve
Because in life there are things you must do
But you won't be able to if you can't prove
That when the oppurtunity shows, you will ensue.

And when I see her, my grin becomes a smile quickly…
A simple reaction actually, her smile is contagious
So even when I’m upset I become afflicted
And I love that but when we trade places
No matter how much I try, nothing seems effective
So I’m afraid she’ll get tired, get up and leave
That’s why I despise getting close, I hate deceit
Believing in something when it’s really nothing
And sure you may think I’m ruled by negativity
But in reality I’m cautious,
Simply trying to protect my positivity…
My heart seamlessly intertwined with these words creates sustainability
These words combined with my thoughts create invincibility
All of those previous things combined with my soul create vulnerability
Because writing brings me reassurance
But it doesn’t quite fix things
That’s what’s left for me to do
Then again, that’s only if I’m allowed to…
Now patience is a virtue I’m not quite familiar with
But I’ve become more familiar, in time, with you
Granted patience wasn’t the answer
Rather it was as simple as accepting what I already knew
Certain things are too good to be true
Now regardless of what’s occurred
We’ll get passed it because you mean way too much to lose
And clearly we’ve had our issues
But I couldn’t forget you even if I had the option to choose
Believe that,
The same way you should believe I have the upmost respect for you
So please forgive me for any vulgarity or offense that I may commit
Because you know me and disrespecting any female is the furthest thing from my wish
But what I do wish is that this distance between us doesn’t last
It just isn’t worth it…

-Jimmy Desire