Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
I'm swinging.
As the autumn leaves chase each other on the dark pavement of this chilled night,
I'm swinging.
I'm glancing around at what I can and noticing no one is out, just me and the leaves.
I'm swinging.
Replaying the last argument I had in my head over and over.
I'm swinging.
I glance at the moon in hope of some sense of company but I'm left with nothing but empty loneliness.
I'm swinging.
I thought once I got to this point I should be somewhere else, feel something else... But
I'm swinging.
My body runs cold and my eyes won't shut.
I'm swinging.
No mobility and no sense of warmth.
I'm swinging.
I realize now that there is no end.
I'm swinging.
The sun arises and the people shuffle out of their warm homes.
I'm swinging.
I'm eventually cut down, I see everyone's reactions and their fake tears. But why do I still feel like
I'm swinging.
I'm redressed and pampered up but I still feel as if
I'm swinging.
The horror as they glue my eyes closed, knowing the only thing I will see for eternity is the back of them.
I'm swinging.
I hear the hushed voices above me, all pretending to have had such a great life with me in it.
I'm swinging.
I hear the shut of my coffin and being rolled into the back of the hearse.
I'm swinging.
I feel the swing of them lowering me in the ground on which pounds of dirt will hide this pointless expensive coffin.
I'm swinging.
And here I am. Alone with my thoughts, the one thing that drove me to this point, the one thing I found I'll never escape, and I'm still swinging.
3 Am high thoughts. Poorly written, I do apologize.
I almost forgot about you today. A sizable
spill of coffee shot me to my feet, holding
up my mocha-soaked notebook like an
unclaimed child. A dozen eyes found
me at once---a security measure meant
to bring shame to a klutz breaking his
social contract. Attention for **** living.
When the pain receded I stood in place
and imagined you brushing your teeth.
You took me out, and thought I was different
Because I was crazy
You told me you've never met anyone quite like me
Because I was crazy
You said you had fallen for me
Because I was crazy
You told me you'd never leave, that I was the only girl to affect you the way I have
Because I was crazy  
We discussed future plans and named our unborn children, you'd never felt so alive with anyone else
Because I was crazy


But then we started to bicker
Because I was crazy

You grew more distant
Because I was crazy

You no longer wanted to hang out multiple times a week
Because I was crazy

You wanted to see other people
Because I was crazy

You've now fallen in love again and have blocked my number
Because I was crazy



And I blame myself losing your love
Because I was crazy

And all I can do is lay here and cry over old photos and hand written notes
Because I am crazy
I know this is nowhere near good or well written. This is just my 2AM high thoughts.
As I gaze upon her,
Seeing her soon to be limp body awestruck in horror,
With the sharp blade clutched within my own hand,
Wondering if she knew this has always been planned.

Only if she knew how easy it would be for me to break her,
Only if she knew how easy it would be for me to torture her.

Fear is what I love,
For fear is what wasn't sent from the so-called "up above".

Oh how I love seeing her trembling body shake,
Seeing the tears flow, for this is no mistake.
I shall soon be the last thing she sees,
All I can hear her say is please,
Please don't do this,
Please we can get through this.
Please please please.

ENOUGH, is all I have to say to make her want to run away.
Enough of the lies you threw at me,
Enough of this fake reality,
For now there will be nothing but brutality.
Soon you will be finished and no one can hear your last cry.
So all you have to do now is say goodbye,
Goodbye to the life you once had,
Goodbye to your mom and dad,
Goodbye to everything you loved,
For we both know there is no "up above"

Nothing but total darkness swarming and eating you alive.
Darling, this is a battle you will not survive.
Shhh, there's no need to fret,
For we haven't even started yet.

— The End —