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  Aug 2020 Shagun
Eshwara Prasad
You cannot lick your own tongue
Shagun Aug 2020
It was a curve I was traversing
All the while I kept on cursing.
On the way to be someone they would love
Ignoring the grey clouds above.
In an instant the bubble popped
My armor dropped.
I had poured my heart out
But they still thought I was screaming loud.
I couldn’t hear my voice
Because it got subdued in the noise.
There I stood alone
Heard a crack in my bone.
I thought I was crumbling
But I turned around and started running
It was a curve I was traversing
It did not seem new
They used to fake-sing my praises
Now they talk about me in closed rooms.
I saw the sky turning blue.
They didn’t believe me then
They don’t believe me now
I reinvented myself
But still it wasn’t enough somehow.
This poem is inspired a personal experience of being in a toxic friend circle. The curve symbolizes the tricky ***** of a toxic friendship. The story is how we, as people, sometimes forget ourselves to be someone our friends would love and how we do anything to fit in. But the reality is far from it. They still backstab you, they still make that friendship suffocating. In the end the only way to save yourself is to get back on your feet and walk away. But never forget that they will still not find it enough.
Shagun Aug 2020
The morning sun was bright
The blue sky
I built my kingdom in one night
The glass can shatter
You understood
But it didn’t matter
My carriage of clouds
As lightly as ever
Drove me around
The confetti were everywhere
The child inside me giggled
I laid myself bare
Then my skin shone
You knew you were the one for me
Your eyes shown
I knew I was the one for you
We created a bubble
And maybe this time
It won’t crumble
You opened the door
I held your hand
And led you to the dance floor
The ball shone
And the light came through
Suddenly you were alone
Now you have the memories
Broken glass
For over centuries
Locked me away in polaroids
My letters hidden inside your books
But nothing filled the void
Now the world is burning down
One last kiss
You hope to see me around.
Shagun Aug 2020
The mist clouded my sight
The dress I wore was white
I was lost I could tell
So, I followed the **** of the tower bell
The wind swooshed past my face
It was a mystifying maze
I was cold
All I had was the warmth of
your love                          
My hair was damp
You switched on the table
lamp
The branches creaked
Under my feet.
At some distance the water cascaded
The trees in front of me faded
The insects were buzzing
The paper on your nightstand were rustling
The woods whispered
The birds no longer chirped
I am still looking for peace.
Our photo frame on the mantelpiece.
You burned it down
I tripped on the frozen ground.
I knew I was losing you
I could no longer feel you.
The scratches on my elbow and knees
The frost on the leaves.
I feel like I’ve heard and seen this before
I cannot take it anymore.
These sounds are noise to my ears.
All I see are my fears.
They screamed at me monstrously
I can’t handle this cacophony.
This poem is a depiction of my life created in an imaginary setting of a forest. I have lost my way. And there are scary sounds that surround me. The only thing that keeps me moving forward is the warmth of my lover's love. However, things get bad for me when my lover destroys picture of us and that is when I can no longer feel that love. And I stumble on my path and fall hard onto the ground. My inner demons disguised as the woods overpower me and I can not take it anymore.

— The End —