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I didn't change I just woke up
Zoomed in my soul for a close up

So many years it was all wrong
Inside my own body I didn't belong

I succumbed to the fear filled in the air
I acted right and never missed a prayer
I played it safe with great effort and care
But all I could feel was constant despair
Playing it safe was getting me no where

Then one moment that was just like any other
Beauty I never thought I'd discover
I realized my soul was my greatest lover

It's hard to explain how this inner peace feels  
or the type of sensations that it starts to reveal

But you find that the common desires are fake
Distractions that keep you from being awake
We are so scared we might make a mistake
We don't even realize our journeys at stake

If we can just master how to let go
Never stop learning. continue to grow
Let go of everything you may think you know
Rid of the excess and you start to glow
She was wild like skinny dipping at midnight, stars watching overhead and falling in love with moonlight. The way it lay upon her skin made the ocean envious of her depths within and sometimes between us. She was my sister, not in blood but in orbit. A Venus to my Earth, forged from the same collapsing star and if the universe was in fact to be infinite then this moment would happen again, and again, and again an immeasurable number of times. I found comfort in this thought, knowing though our existence was meaningless, it was still full of feeling, and this feeling, right now, it insisted on existing forever.
 Feb 2016 Fernanda Savaris
moss
I explain my metaphors with metaphors
I don't know how else to express
My thoughts that sit in clutter drawers
And leave my mind a mess

If you don't understand my comparison
I'll just say it in a different way
My thoughts still shielded by a garrison
Suppressing things I need to say
What of love
She said you were the pulse of life
From woman to wife
Breathe beneath her skin
You’re just a shot of adrenalin

What of love
Open a vein and bleed the lie
She’s the addict you supply
Lips that drip sap and acid
And you’re death in a pretty package

What of love
Hypodermic words slurred
On a Sunday afternoon blurred
Stop her staccato heart
Drop death in her chest she’s torn apart

What of love
Arrest the damnable dreaming
Chains in the shape of a ring she’s screaming
Saffron dress and daisy chains
She won’t wear it again

What of love
Petty promises her overdose
On the floor of your hotel room comatose
Consolation prize forever after unhappily
No antidote to set her free

What of love
Little girls like lambs to slaughter
Lies make slaves of daughters
Chase the hollow sound of wedding bells
Fed fairy tales In prison cells  
Tl Boehm
04/27/2013
Real love is wonderful - and marriage is a blessing. But doing it for all the wrong reasons is tantamount to tossing your life in the toilet. (Just a random thought - not my personal situation.)
 Jan 2016 Fernanda Savaris
enin
drowning in caffeine
breathing the nicotine
my blood cant circulate - your love will stimulate.
the ****** of death in **** will simulate
your touch , my need
as we spiral in to sin

separation , depression , paranoia
anxiety - the absence of my sleep
aggression , desperation
toxicity - of a drama we are in
discoloration - i can't control the spin

screams - muted by bitter pills
our dreams - induced by the  acid
capsuled lives - longing self destruction
your embrace - disconnection
release me from what is real

obsession - for what we cannot fix
frustration - for what we can't control
memories - of what we used to be
delusions - of what we could have been
isolation - thoughts of being free
now voices dictate what i should feel
digging through my skin - opening the wounds
put your fingers in

remembering the days when we held
an illusion no drugs could replicate
i can't forget.
exchanging promises of never letting go
was it all in my head?
i can't escape the hole.
i walk the road alone.
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