I look at your picture
A deep rooted memory
Rehashing your features
Feeling giddy with familiarity  

I observe your hair
A sounding valley
Clash of colors
With earthy balancing  

An enriching, warm smile
Makes drab walls radiate
For all the chips the walls keep
Absolute contrast your skin makes  

Smart and kind eyes
Movingly carved face
Look inviting for all
Needing contact or embrace  

Relaxed and composed
Fresh, appealing attire
Dainty like a sandy castle
Concealed strength to admire  

Physical cast aside
Perceptible by senses
Nimble, tenacious mind
Like wind mapping surfaces  

Compassion, consideration
As natural as breathing
Spring of kindness
Rarely impeded

Deep rooted loyalty
Veiled gentle protection
Ageless controlled fire
For those in the sanctum

Beneath the drawn armor
Lie spots of mischief
Hint of adulthood
Innocent, questioning beliefs

If all goes to ruin
You will still be loved
All that matters is
Existence of and for love.

I wonder what beauty is
There is no handbook to guide me
Is it a certain form, color or smell
Or just the receiver bound in spell
Is it fair, olive, or pitch dark
Does it make feel content, or lights a spark
Is it different for humans, animals, and things
Does it always blend, or has a contrast
Is it different for men, and women
Different for canines, and the cats
If it is not about the species
How would I get the catch
Is the difference geographical
Standards same across a country
Or is the difference a little cultural
Changing with festivals, and accessories
Is the difference in point of time
At times evoking joy, at times hostility
Or if the difference is in perception
Then why do children smile heartily
If reality was saddening
And art made it beautiful
Would beauty be an illusion
And those chasing it, illusory?

We don’t talk now
I understand you are busy
Surprisingly, my mind doesn’t plead
Your memories to not become a history
My feelings for you play silently
Arousing everything but sadness
And I wonder why there is no void
Why I don’t feel cramped  
Even with your reflection’s occupancy
  
With you as my guide
I discovered the greatness of brains and numbers
Honestly, I still feel the awe of it
For what use are skills and experiences, if not appreciation
I have known being a source of your pride
But how come there is such detachment at your end
May be your sources kept expanding to the extent
That I became a lost fraction of even thousands  

You gave me your clothes when I was soaked  
Laughed and gave me directions when I got lost on the road
Gave me the stage to show, and to answer
I helped your daughter cross French and English waters
But  I  couldn t help  her with German
How  could  I  draw  a  map,  when  I  didn't know the land
So I was  kicked to  the curb, to  never be contacted
You  told me to not become  a  calculator
But I don't remember ever being calculative

And I  never held anything against you For the free and  reasonable  me  would never  approve
Teachers like you  are still the reason
I  like to  be a student,  through and through.

Every time I leave the place
I think if it’s the last time mum
If I may not make it back at all
Or you may not desire my return
Every time I cuddle up to you at night
I wonder whether in future the bed would be cold
If my heart would know my soul
If my feet would ever be warm
I wonder if I’d have a place at all
Every time I eat meals with you
I try to cherish every bite, remember the taste
For I may never get the chance
Once you know the waste I am
Every time we talk alone
I put a little of me out for you intensely
But pull back a whole lot in, out of scrutiny
I soften the eventual heartbreak I think
Every moment we drift apart
I tell you I love you
Coz if it’s a goodbye, or the beginning of one for good
We would have some memory
Laced with love, fear, and pain for me
For you, with regret, anger, and love maybe
I wonder how the goodbye would be
Will you still love me
Will you still be proud of me
Will you speak with me, or of me
If not, will you let me off easily
If I live, how good would it be
 
Every time you caress me dad
I wonder who you think I am
Who the person is you shower your love on
Who the person is you speak of so proudly
Who the person is, instilling doubt in me
Mocking my existence
Questioning my worth every second
Would you love me, no matter the identity
Every time you bring treats for me
I wonder if you would let my love materialize
If I would get my chance to hold you
To be the one to create fragments of joy for you
If I would still be welcomed at your place
If your arms would still be my niche
And not represent the shackles
I sometimes imagine them to be
Does it make me bad, papa
To even imagine you as villain
Far from the hero you used to be
Every time a father and daughter fill my screen
I wonder if we’d have a happy ending
If I would be allowed to love, and to live
Or traditions would eat me up, inch by inch
I wonder how the goodbye would be
If you’ll regret my existence
Or simply forget me
Well you may forgive me
And continue to love me
I hope you stand up for me
When the society stands against me
I hope you still hold your head up high
When there may not seem to be any reason, but me
Proud of the me I will be, the me I am, and the one I used to be
In case you don’t, let the goodbye be gentle
I may still have somewhere to be
Where deafening silence would prevail, of peace and clarity
Occasionally disturbed by small cries of a beautiful destiny
 
The walls I built around to keep me safe
Don’t promise the things I sometimes crave
I look through the window, the knowns and unknowns
And at times I can feel the life surge closely
The hugs, the smiles, and the experiences go right to my core
Trespassing all the atoms of the bricks, holding promise of more
But I wish nothing breaks these walls
The trade-off of love and safety, I can never knock off
Can’t drop it in favor of love, when I know what it costs
Helpless gamble for me and love
I wonder what the goodbye would be
End of the walls, or endless safety.

I am not broken
Just betrayed
My little friendship train
Got derailed
How do you feel?

Your libido not in check
Our interaction made a mess
Distance is what I suggested
Now you won't have my back
How should I feel?

I don't blame you
But still it hurts
Knowing the moments we shared
The distance we fared
I just made a fool of myself
What did I believe?

I can't be a lover
But is it fine
Shutting me out as a friend
Never knew love's confined
It used to be omnipresent and divine
Why did I equate zero to infinity?

Let me tell you straight
Love is not restricted
To just the role you wanted to play
It's the respect, care and understanding
For anyone and anything
I won't take a detour to irrationality
Goodbye and fare well!

Noble people question my identity
I am arrogant, not answerable
They say I lack human's entity
Something physical, sounds sensible
They are noble, I don't question

They do look at me with suspicion
Think I do not conform to the norms
Laugh at my unrealistic intuitions
Don't like my love for Thor and thorns
They are noble, I don't question

'You are more of a gawk' they say
That doesn't disqualify me from being exploited
It's saddening to see myself at bay
Avoiding my source energy to be safe
They are noble, I don't question

But my thinking gives me blast
Everything around, is just past
I am the truth, I will last
Who is noble, I need not ask
The one who exists