Are you a ******?*
Whirlwinds of flashes
Passed in front of her eyes
And she shut them tight,
Remembering,
Had he touched her?
No.
Had he touched her?
No!
Had he touched her?
Yes...
He had touched her deeper
Than the reach of physicality,
He had touched her firmer than
Sensations of all tactile reality,
She knew kisses that tasted of Forever,
Without having kissed at all,
So what could she answer!
She was untouched,
Yet she was not.
She recollected herself,
Replied a meek Yes,
And felt herself violated by
Another alien self,
A tear rolled down silently,
As her soul bled to death.

Everyone watched as you slipped into a coma.
Quietly, subtley, your mind exited the room of
white walls, white sheets, white everything.
Why are hospitals always white inside?
It makes me jealous more than anything.

We all watched your consciousness recede.
But then, I wasn't there, was I?
You wouldn't know, I think.
You wrote me a note to say goodbye.
A final note... Why?

You lost so much blood, sweetie.
Just how many pills did you need?!
Was the knife not enough,
you had to overdose as well?
I miss you so much.

I would always hold you when you cried.
It's my fault I left.
I kissed you goodbye while you slept.
I still love you.
Forgive me!
Come back to me, my run-away friend.

open your mouth --- wider
there, those are bones
roots known by the flesh

look at your fingertips
they too bear the bone
scrim ***** coverings, ten of them

the scar on your skin
observe it
harm came to you
visited you - did you

re
member
it?

or did you
bottle it
and set it to
the dark green
murk beneath?

is it a part of you
that you shun? embarrassed
by its inarticulate language
curling and lunging

discolored other?

animal, listen
your mouth noises: mere symbol

your thoughts:
brief shimmer o' the surface

this is black
you are but blue
that is all

The hardest part for me about losing my dad is that I missed him for a long time even before he died.
It had been ten months since I'd even seen him. I had been calling him and leaving messages, trying to make plans with him, but he never called me back.
The only way I knew he was even still alive at the time was through my sisters.
I just kept trying, and then one day I get a phone call saying that he's dead.
That he shot himself.
That I'll never get that call back from him. That those plans I wanted to make with him would never be made.
It's like I'm waiting forever to get that call from him, and I'm never going to get it.
I can't even explain how much that breaks my heart.
I know that wasn't his intention.
That he wasn't avoiding me because he didn't love me.
It was because he was hurting so much and he didn't want me to feel it, too.
But honestly, I would have rather had him call me crying every day.
To tell me how sad he was.
It hurts me more that he didn't tell me.
That he didn't let me try to help.
And I'm not saying I would have been able to help him.
But I wish he would have let me try.
I just feel like I didn't know him at all during the last months he spent on this earth, and I wish he had given me the chance.